


Ghosts that Haunt Me

by tharooday



Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Consensual Underage Sex, Domestic Violence, F/M, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, M/M, Slow Burn, Underage Drinking, Underage Drug Use, Underage Sex, long backstory
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-27
Updated: 2020-02-19
Packaged: 2020-03-20 02:29:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 10
Words: 58,319
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18983365
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tharooday/pseuds/tharooday
Summary: Tony Stark, barely 18, discovered something by accident. He was mad at Howard, heartbroken that Rhodey's leaving for service, burning the candle at both ends, and so incredibly lonely. So he decided to spy on his dad, which is how he discovered that Hydra was not defeated, and in turn, discovered the location of Hydra's ultimate weapon: The Winter Soldier.Three men: One of iron will, one out of time, and one trapped in his own mind. the humble and not so humble beginnings of three individuals and how their lives are about to be interwound whether it be for the better or worse.P.S: chapter numbers have changed due to the fact I decided to merge the shorter chapters together. they used to be 14!!!





	1. How Howard Met Maria

**Author's Note:**

> this story's focus is Tony, but the first two chapters are about Howard and Maria. Please bear with me.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Howard meets Maria and their lives begin. Anthony Edward Stark is born.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I merged the first two chapters together.

**December 1967**

Maria Collins Carbonell met the famous Howard Stark, the personification of the American dream, at a charity gala in Long Island. He was at the bar with a pitcher of what looked like whiskey all by his lonesome. Everybody comes up to him for a quick mandatory hello, but no one accepts his invitation to join him at the bar. Even from this distance, she can tell they were making excuses. They all crowd around Obadiah Stane, whose booming laughter can be heard across the ballroom.

Maria, an Italian American, was fascinated by his presence. A scientist, engineer, and inventor who not only helped the war effort as a young man but help create the hero that made ending the war a possibility. He shaped history, created technology, and paved the way to the future all on his own merit. Howard Stark's success was a story of inspiration to children of immigrants such as Maria. That a person who is brilliant, who is talented, can be wealthy and respected. Maria was brilliant in her own right. She was sharp and witty and so very charming. She was talented too, her talent was making people love her and want to be near her, a talent that the oh so brilliant Howard Stark sourly lacked.

As a young man, his rashness and impulsiveness were considered quirky and charming. His dalliances with blondes and redheads, as scandalous and numerous as they were, were regarded as a young man living his best life. As the man got older, however, his rash behavior was costing him important friendships. His impulsiveness has put his precious company at stake many times. His dalliances with younger women were starting to look desperate. He was living the American dream, but he was about to lose it, unless…

"Excuse me, is this seat taken?"

Howard wasn’t given time to respond before the brunette took the seat anyways and made herself at home. She was young, he could tell, but not too young its scandalous. A brunette though. 

"it is actually, not like you're really asking, are you?"

"but it isn’t", she said casually then proceeded to ask the bartender for a Virgin Mary, as if she hadn’t just put Howard Stark on the spot.

"excuse me?" Howard gawked. Who is this girl? He is not nearly drunk enough to deal with this. He is not drunk enough to deal with any of this. Carter was not happy with him, Stane and the board are up his ass, and his energy projects are blowing up in his face, literally. Now this girl, who isn’t even his type, is bugging him when he really didn’t want to be here in the first place… his public image has been suffering, he was no longer young nor charming. A charity gala was in order. There is not enough whiskey in the world to fix this mess.

"this seat is not taken, no one would take it no matter how many you've asked. So, I decided to take it for myself. I hope you don't mind". Her tone was conversational. Her features pleasant, as if she was talking about the weather, not how sad Howard Stark is sitting all alone. She's good, he was impressed.

"I DO mind. Listen, you seem like a nice girl, and I appreciate you coming up here to keep me company, but this really isn’t the time…" he began to trail off. The minute he started talking he faced him with her full body and just stared… he isn’t sure how to describe the look on her face, other than piercing. Like she can see through him, into him. She was LISTENING. Her brown doe eyes so focused that HE ended up losing focus instead. Damn, her eyes are pretty.

"you are right. I am a nice girl. You also happen to be wrong. I'm not here to keep you company. If I were, you'd be buying me a drink," the bartender chose that moment to bring her drink, which she paid for, and she raised it to her lip while looking him dead in the eye for emphasis.

"I think we got onto a bad start, let's start over. My name is Howard Stark, how do you do"

"I know who you are Mr. Stark, my name is Maria. Pleased to meet you." She offered her hand and he kissed it. Now that he is looking at her closely, Maria happens to be a young woman, not a girl. Interesting.

"I should buy you a drink-"

"that won't be necessary, Mr. Stark. I'm not here to keep you company, I'm here to offer you a deal." Paranoia rears its ugly head and Howard drums his fingers four times, a signal for his bodyguard to be ready to escort Miss Maria out if necessary.

"what can a … I'm sorry, what do you do exactly Miss Maria?"

"I'm a secretary for the Manhattan Art Gallery. And I can do wonders for the bad press you're getting Mr. Stark" she takes another sip and looks over the ballroom. She is dressed for the occasion. Pearl earrings, no necklace, and a simple white dress. Elegant enough to pass as expensive, but not if you look too closely. She wasn’t dressed to impress but dressed to fit in. Howard was intrigued.

"there will always be bad press. what can I say? People love to hate me" he says casually and finishes his drink. He can hear the group around Obi roar with laughter from something he said. Peggy is here too, she and Sousa are sitting down with Hank Pym and Alexander Pierce. He should be sitting with them instead of being insulted by a pretty secretary and drinking himself into a coma.

"there has been more hate than love recently, and not enough good press to balance the bad. That can't be good for business," she's doing it again… looking at him like she knows him.

"and you can fix that? How."

"Mr. Stark, you are at a time in your life people expect you to settle down, to be a family man. You need someone who will make you look good."

"I see what this is, you want to be the women who give me an heir?" he scoffs. He should've known better. A young girl that wants to secure his fortune. How disappointing.

"No, I don't. I want to help you get into people's good graces again. I'm good with people, I can get them to love you and see you differently. When that is accomplished, I will go on my merry way."

"How charitable of you," he deadpanned, growing tired of her attack of his character, "what do you want in return?"

"for this relationship to be business only; for the press, and for me to be able to help my family and myself."

"you are not my type."

"I'll dye my hair blonde."

"why are you doing this? For the money?"

She looked at her now empty cup and sighed, "I looked up to you Mr. Stark"

"as in past tense?"

"ask me to dance."

"what?"

"ask me to dance, then I will leave. I'll give you a number to contact me with if you want to consider my offer. What do you have to lose?"

He asked her to dance. She was regal and poised, even though he was tipsy, she didn’t allow him to falter. She smiled and looked at him the whole dance. Laughed when he pointed out a guest and made a witty comment. She was pleasant. he doesn't remember the last time he had this much fun at a gala.

Peggy asked him who he danced with after Maria left and she wasn't the only one. Obbi was dying to know who the beauty was. People were talking, speculating, but the strange thing was, it was all pleasant. Everyone saw Maria leave while Howard stayed. They all saw how demure and proper she was at the bar with him. for the rest of the evening, people treated him differently, they treated him like they used to before Vietnam. Maybe she was onto something.

He called her the next day then sent Jarvis to pick her up for a lunch date. He had a counteroffer, he wanted to ask her out properly, no strings attached. What can he say, he likes a girl that knows what she wants.

 

 

**1968**

Everybody loved Maria Carbonell. Being engaged to her has made Howard likable. A miracle really. Maria's presence was soothing for him and those around him. Not to mention her interest in charities and fundraising money for poor neighborhoods and hospitals. The press ADORES her, she was already dubbed Saint Maria!!

Business deals became easier too. Whenever someone is difficult, Maria happens to run into their wife at luncheon and instantly becomes friends and must see each other over the weekend and, oh please meet my fiancé Howard I think he knows your husband and what do you know, the husband doesn’t want his wife to lose her new vibrant friend that promised to invite her to the very exclusive press heavy invitation-only charity she's planning on hosting as soon as her Howard finishes with that pesky business deal…

No one can say no to Maria either. People crowd around her and practically melt at her praise. The engagement became a big news story, everybody congratulated Howard. Peggy kept telling how happy she was for him, how relieved she was. Peggy's comment hurt the most. She knew him the longest, they both loved and lost Steve. Peggy got back on her feet faster, she's just efficient that way. But he struggled. Steve was his greatest scientific accomplishment, and the only friend, other than Peggy, that didn't ask for anything in return. In a way, Steve Rogers' creation made him realize his worth, his potential, something he had lost after the war. That all changed when he met Maria.

After that night at the gala, Howard was smitten. He asked her for a courtship, and she agreed. She dyed her hair blonde and accepted to go out to both private dinners and public ones. She was funny and thoughtful. He met her family and asked for her father's blessings by February the next year. He asked her to marry him a week later in Venice and she said yes. They set the date for the end of May and they couldn’t be happier.

 

 

**1969**

Maria had a miscarriage. She was inconsolable and Howard felt useless. He left her with Anna and went down to his workshop to drink his own heartbreak away. Later that night he visited her and told her he loved her so dearly and devotedly.

"you are not a romantic, Howard." She said, her brown eyes as sharp as ever, even when they were red and swollen from tears.

"I was one, before. Life made me cold until I met you."

"I never knew I wanted a child until I lost this one." She looked so young in that instance, so vulnerable.

"me too."

"I wanted to name her Lily"

"what if it were a boy?"

"our next child is a boy." She said with certainty. She's always like that, confident and certain. She reminded him of Steve.

 

 

**May 29th, 1970**

Maria Stark gave birth to a healthy baby boy. Howard was over the moon, that was until a nurse tried to whisk the child away. There was mayhem at the hospital. Police and S.H.I.E.L.D agents were all over the place. When apprehended, the nurse managed to take a gun from one of the policemen and shot herself. Both Howard and Peggy, now Director, agreed that this should be kept from the public. Maria and the child were transferred to the mansion, with the godmother of said child swearing to find out who the nurse was working for. Edwin and Anna fluttered around them, cooing at the baby and fussing over Maria.

Howard felt truly rich in that instant. He had a fierce friend, a lovely wife, an adorable child, and loyal servants that were truly the family he lost. Anthony Edward Stark will be the most loved child in the world.

 

**1971**

"Tony! Over here! Look at daddy"

"Tony!"

Tony sat and played with his train, completely ignoring Howard. The boy was almost a year and a half and hasn’t spoken a word… the doctors couldn’t find anything wrong with his baby boy. They said to speak with him and to give him games and encourage him to interact. But the boy kept taking his toys to a patch of sun streaming through the window (damn Italian genes) and would play on his own. His mother sings to him, Jarvis reads to him, Anna talks about her day with him and he pays them all his full attention, brown eyes alert and so like his mother's. when Howard tries to talk to him, the boy goes deaf all of a sudden!!

"he is very shy sir, perhaps you should wait till he warms up to you."

"shy? MY kid SHY??? I'm his father Jarvis, no need to warm up to me!!!"

"You've been away all summer, sir."

"well, I'm here now!"

That’s when he noticed that Tony has abandoned his sunspot and gotten closer. Brown hair in big glossy curls, and dressed like a miniature man, khakis and a blue polo shirt with nothing but socks on his feet. He walked up to Jarvis and pointed at Howard.

"yes, Anthony. Go say hello to your father."

The boy scrunched his nose in displeasure but headed to Howard anyway and offered a chubby handed wave. When Howard waved back, Tony went back to his train and sunspot.

Later that evening he told Maria that he suspected that Tony was part Italian feline and she laughed so hard she almost fell out of their bed.

 

 

**1973**

Howard Stark was not doing very well. Project P.E.G.A.S.U.S and the arc reactor, although successful was going nowhere. He lost one of his top engineers, Vanko to treason of all things. He was spending more time away from home, Maria was furious, his own child barely recognizes him, and his friends are angry with him, again. Not to mention business is getting slow.

He had a fight with Maria, a bad one. He'd been drinking, not unreasonably, but drinking, nonetheless. She doesn’t want him drunk around Tony. Everything is about Tony. Tony, the bundle of energy in human form. The boy walked in on him filming for the expo and messed with the model. Maria said that Tony saw him drinking "apple juice" with the TV guys and wants some too.

"since when does the boy talk anyway?"

"Howard, Tony can speak, read, AND write!!! The boy is so clever and sweet, but you wouldn’t know. You are never around, and when you are, you are drunk off your ass!!"

"That is NOT true."

"BUT IT IS, and I'm SICK of it!"

"THEN LEAVE!"

Maria looked so shocked but mostly hurt. He wanted to apologize, he should, but the words wouldn't leave his mouth. The silence stretched and it was too late to take it back now. She opened her mouth to say something, but the security alarm went off. Something was wrong.

"TONY" Maria ran out to find her son, instinct kicking in and Howard tried to follow. He got dizzy and felt like vomiting, and ok, maybe Maria had a point.  
When he got to the hall, he saw Maria cradling a crying Tony, comforting him and telling him that Jarvis chased away the big Minnie.

Someone broke into his house and tried to take his son. Again.

 

"Maria, I'm sorry."

"…"

"I'll stop drinking"

"will you stop chasing a ghost, and pay attention to your son?"

"I promise"

 

 

**1974**

Tony started following him around. Howard had decided to spend a year in New York, as promised, and prioritize his family. Tony was fascinated by Howard. At first, he would try to hide his presence and watch quietly, but the boy had too many questions and couldn’t sit still to save his life. He followed his father everywhere and asked questions and went down to the workshop and the office. He even insisted on going out with Howard, throwing a fit whenever his father leaves without him. He would sit through SI board meetings while Stane sneaked him candy and would hold his father's hand when crossing the street. Jarvis would be on standby just in case.

The boy was as brilliant as Maria said he was and hilarious to boot. He can't believe he almost missed this.

He showed Tony his Captain America collection, and the boy was smitten. The boy was so awed that his father was friends with a superhero. He would ask Howard about the shield and the Howling Commandos and the war. they read the comics together, watched the reels, and reenacted some of Howard's stories. He even gave Tony one of the collectible Bucky Bears. The boy almost had an aneurysm when Howard told him that Aunt Peggy was Steve Rogers' sweetheart. Maria very much approved of their relationship. A happy Maria is a wonderful Maria. He loved that woman, he truly did.

One day, in his workshop, he noticed Tony messing around with a box of scrap materials. Maria was always complaining about not having enough vidoes of Tony, so he set up a camera and filmed him. The boy, his four-year-old son, built a circuit board AND HE CAUGHT IT ON TAPE!!! Just like that! And it only took him four hours! He was so proud and awed. He took pictures and gave him hugs, all the noise had Maria and Jarvis rushing down the workshop to see what the fuss was about, only to see an overexcited Howard and a very confused, but definitely not complaining Tony. The poor boy didn’t know what the fuss was about!!

He sent the picture to Obbi and Peggy, and immediately got a call from Obbi.

"get the story out?"

"Howard, if the public knows your kid is a chip off the old block, investors would be flocking in!! your boy Tony just secured the future of this company!"

"Obbi, he's a kid."

"a kid that can build a functioning circuit board."

"Maria is not gonna like this." Howard didn’t sound very convincing, even to himself and Obbi knows him too well anyways.

"I'm contacting the Time's, I'll let you know when they will drop by for the story."

 

 

 

"Howard, are you out of your mind!!! Why would you expose Tony like this? He was almost kidnapped twice now, TWICE!!!"

"the world needs to know-"

"Tony's safety comes first!!"

"I know, but the company will benefit, and that’s all for him-"

"THE COMPANY!!! So this is about work?"

"No, honey, it isn’t"

"Unbelievable"

"Mama," Tony was at the door in his onesie, looking nervous and eyeing Howard suspiciously. "I had a bad dream "

"Sweetheart, my darling, come here." The boy runs to his mother and starts telling her about his dream. A man in black with red eyes, no mouth, and a robot hand outside his window trying to take him away. Howard's blood ran cold. He read the reports, attended the meetings and briefings after JFK, saw the only picture taken by accident in Dallas. A man in black with red goggles and a face mask who wore an armor (shined like vibranium) around his left arm…

"Its nothing but a bad dream my love." Maria's reassurance broke his trance and he looked at them again. His boy, in his mother's arms, on their bed. Tiny Tony is the world's deadliest assassin's target. Why? Maria is right, they shouldn’t expose Tony to the public, or maybe… they should.

"Tony, remember that circuit board you built yesterday?" Maria glared at him. She looked two seconds away from smacking him over the head.

"Uh-huh," the boy wasn’t crying anymore. But he clung to his mother and sniffled every other second. When do they grow out of crying? The boy can build a damn circuit board yet still cries to his mom over everything. Is that normal? He should probably look into that.

"well, some people from the newspaper were very impressed and want to interview you and take your picture. You'll be just like your old man." Maria was mouthing threats at him but smiled lovingly when Tony turned to her. Huh. No love left for her husband. Not when her precious baby boy was involved.  
The boy was smiling shyly now. He liked the idea and he was distracted from his nightmare. See, Howard can be a great father, businessman, AND co-founder of a spy agency all at once! He will make ends meet.

When they put the boy to sleep, in their bed, Maria gave him her full attention. Oh, boy.

"I'm listening." She knew him so well. Sometimes he suspects she of collects data and analyzes them with her coconspirators Anna and Peggy. She probably takes notes and compares them in her dressing room, which he isn’t allowed to go inside. She knows too much.

"it wasn't a dream, Maria. What Tony saw is a man Peggy has been after for over ten years now. The man is…"

"dangerous." It wasn't a question, so Howard didn't answer. He let Maria take it in and think.

"if our boy is in danger, then why tell him about the paper?"

"Maria, think about it. What's more difficult, taking a child no one knows about or a child EVERYBODY knows about?" He can see her eyes light up with understanding so continued, "we make it difficult to get near him by basically turning him into America's child. Pictures and press. That way, whoever is trying to take him, will have to consider the public outcry. If this man is working for our competitor or an enemy, they will think twice before trying to snatch him again."

"you will keep him safe?"

"with my life, love"

"call Peggy. Tell her what Tony saw, I want the best agents investigating this."

 

The Time's article stirred quite the buzz. Tony was dubbed the Boy wonder. Doctors gave Tony an IQ test and the boy knocked it out of the park. He was what everybody talked about. Tony started to get invited to events and charities and galas alongside his parents. They'd dress him in tiny tuxedos, and he'd outwit the best of them. The boy was a star. Maria was growing uncomfortable with how grown men and women would flock around her boy, but she played along and did what she does best, social terror. She would drop heavily disguised threats on whoever is getting too friendly with her precious Anthony.

Maria wasn't the only one concerned. Jarvis, who acts as the boy's caregiver/bodyguard to the public has been pestering Howard about Tony. Jarvis thinks Tony should be surrounded by children his own age instead of New York's elite class. Howard brushed them off. The boy needed to get used to the spotlight anyway, he's a Stark. Might as well get used to it.

 

 

**1975**

“Can I come with you?” Tony asked. The boy doesn’t cling to him like he used to anymore nor demand to go wherever his father goes. He stands straight and asks politely. He clings to his mother, hangs off Edwin’s arm as he cleans, and curls up like a cat at Anna’s feet as she knits. When Howard walks in the room the boy’s demeanor changes.

Maria is at the piano, actively ignoring him. Their relationship has strained over the past year. She caught a potential business partner being too friendly with Tony and all hell broke loose. She slapped the man and called him many unsavory things. The man said he was just talking to the young prodigy, nothing more. Maria had been on edge ever since the news story broke out, Howard didn’t know who to believe. He and Maria fought constantly, and the incident made everything worse. He was always itching for a drink, but he knew if he reached for a bottle she’d leave and take Tony with her. One night, they fought so vehemently, Tony walked in with his Captain America shield, the one he made from a dumpster lid, and stood in front of his mother in a defensive position. Both Howard and Maria were shocked into silence. Howard can feel shame heating his face. The boy was protecting his mother from HIM. Maria hugged her boy and whispered excuses for him as Howard left the room and sat in his car till dawn wishing he had a damn drink.

After that night, Tony treated his father as a business partner. He was civil and polite. He only acts like himself when Steve Rogers is mentioned or when he gets invited to the workshop. Another noticeable change was that the boy will only come to the workshop when asked. Howard felt like an intruder in his own home. Maria barely looks at him, his boy only speaks to him when spoken to and always puts himself between him and his mother, Jarvis looks at him with pity, and Anna looks at him disappointedly. So, he made a decision, He would continue his work on P.E.G.A.S.U.S.

“Go find your precious Steve, bring his corpse home to rest. Dig up your best friend’s three-decade-old grief. Do it with the knowledge that you’re leaving your child who needs you more than anyone for a dead man. You’ll be a stranger to him again.”

“I’m already a stranger to him.”

“And who’s fault is that?”

Now looking at him, he can see that Tony was DYING to go find Captain America. It’s the only thing they have in common. He wants to be a hero in Tony’s eyes again. He will be the man that finds Steve Rogers again and he’ll bring the real shield to Tony.

“I’m sorry kid, but you can’t come. It’s not fun and it’s cold all the time. You wouldn’t like it, trust me. But in the meantime, you’ll be head of Stark mansion and that means access to the workshop,” he can see Tony’s eyes light up at that. “With adult supervision of course.”

Tony looked at his mother, and she gave him a little nod. They’ve been doing that a lot lately, silently communicating. Whatever he asked, she gave him the go ahead and he ran to his father and gave him a hug.

They all walked him to the car, but Maria turned her head when he tried to kiss her. He kissed her on her temple instead and whispered an apology. He knelt down and said to his son what his father used to tell him before he left for work.

“Stark men are made of iron. Fire doesn’t hurt us; it shapes us, and the cold makes us stronger. Listen to your mother, I’ll be home before you know it.”

 

 

He got the call early in the morning, two weeks into his trip. Tony was kidnapped for a 5-million-dollar ransom. The boy was out with his mother and the Jarvises on a picnic in Central Park. He was chasing a pigeon when a car pulled over and a man came out of it and took him away. Peggy gave him a choice, pay the ransom and make it public or let S.H.I.E.L.D deal with it quietly. He trusted Peggy and gave her the go-ahead to deal with it. He cut his trip short and arrived at a deathly silent mansion. Maria was a wreck. All she does is cry in Tony’s room holding his Bucky Bear. He sat outside the door; not sure he was welcome.

Two days. They had Tony for two days, and those two days he couldn’t bear to look at his wife. She tried to warn him, but he didn’t listen. She didn’t deserve this. Jarvis was a ghost, walking around aimlessly and silently. Anna fed them and fretted over them. The longest two days of his life.

When Peggy called saying she was on her way with Tony, he almost cried with relief. She arrived after midnight carrying a bundled-up Tony in her arms. Tony was bruised, but otherwise unharmed, Peggy informed them. Her face was tight, and she wouldn’t look at Maria when she said it. Howard’s heart dropped. What was Peggy leaving out? Tony was asleep and Maria and Jarvis took him inside while Peggy headed straight to his study.

“The men were hired by Thomas Richards.”

“From Roxxon Corp?!”

“The very same.”

“What a mess,” He poured himself a glass of whiskey. Maria can’t fault him for this, but she will lose her head over Tony’s kidnappers being his competition. “Was the Winter Soldier there?”

“No, Richards isn’t nearly wealthy or important enough to hire a ghost. Pour one for me, would you? It’s been a long few days.”

“Is he okay?”

“He was beaten and was used as an ashtray! They had him sedated for most of it, the poor little thing.”

“You think it’s my fault too, don’t you.”

“Of course I don’t, Howard. Maria is just upset; you must understand. She'll be fine when all this is over. You have done everything humanly possible to protect him, you turned this mansion into a fortress!”

“The first time, when he was just a day old, we were registered at the hospital with aliases. The last time someone tried to get him, I had a camera crew to film for the expo, so my security system was deactivated. People coming in and out. And this time was when I was away for P.E.G.A.S.U.S.”

“What are you saying?”

“I’m saying, someone, we know, someone CLOSE, is feeding my enemies information.”

“Howard. That is a dangerous thought.”

“It can't be a coincidence. Tony is not safe here, not around me.”

“I’ll look into it, but Howard, don’t do anything rash.”

Avoiding her knowing gaze, he pointed at the door and said: “I should go check on Maria and the boy.”

“Daniel is expecting me as well.”

He didn’t go check on Maria, he went to bed instead.

 

“He said they asked him to be a good boy and listen to them and he told them Stark men are made of iron and only listen to their mother. That’s why they beat him.” Was the first thing she said when he found her at the breakfast table, staring at her food.

Howard almost choked on his morning coffee. Tony was checked by the family doctor last night. His burns were treated, he was washed, clothed, fed, and was given something to help him sleep off the shock and tremors. Maria looked better too. Her hair was glossy and clean. She was dressed in a pink satin gown and robe. She stayed up all night keeping watch over her baby boy while Howard slept off his jet lag and minor hangover.

“Uh…”

“You should be careful what you say to him, he looks up to you.”

“The boy barely talk to me anymore.”

“He wants to be like you. He wants to be strong and brave like his father, the man that made Captain America. The man that flew Steve Rogers into enemy territory to save his best friend. He told me he tried not to cry when they burned him because Stark men are made of iron and fire shapes them.”

She was looking at him now, with that knowing gaze that made him so devoted to her.

“You didn’t even come to look at him,” She looked hurt as she said this. “I needed you, but you avoided me. He needed you but you went to sleep. There is something you aren’t telling me. What’s going on Howard.”

“It’s my fault. Someone close to me is a mole. Every attempt Tony was timed too perfectly, It’s the only explanation.”

“Do you know who it is?” She asked tightly.

“No, but I told Peggy and she said she’d look into it.”

“Maybe that’s the problem.”

“What do you mean?”

“I MEAN, how trustworthy is a spy agency?”

“But that’s MY spy agency we’re talking about.”

“YOUR spy agency is crawling with former Nazi agents!!”

“REFORMED EX-Nazi agents who happened to be VERY helpful during the Cold War and the moon landing and-“

“LISTEN TO YOURSELF HOWARD, you sound RIDICULOUS!!”

“I… I don’t want to fight you. I don’t sweetheart, you’re right. I shouldn’t gamble with our boy’s life.”

She continued eating her food, but he can tell that he said the right thing. She relaxed into her seat and sipped her tea.

“I’m thinking of sending him to boarding school. Keeping him away from us and not giving this mole any information to feed someone else.”

“He’s only five, Love.” It breaks his heart to take her son away from her, from them, but what choice does he have?

“By the beginning of the next school year, he’ll be almost six, which is reasonable. He already reads and writes. He’ll fit right in,” Maria stopped eating and he can see that she was holding back her tears. “He’ll be safe, I promise.”

“He’ll spend summer and Christmas with us.”

“Of course.”

“Excuses me, ma’am, sir, Anthony is awake and would like to invite you to breakfast on his bed with the company of Sergeant Bucky Bear and the honorable Captain Beaver Rogers.” Jarvis drawled.

“How lovely! What’s for breakfast?” Maria asked cheerfully. It seems as if this is a game they play often. It made Howard feel … honored to be included, yet more aware of how secluded he has been.

“Blueberry Pancakes, with extra blueberries.”

“How delightful! We’ll accept, won’t we dear?” She looked at him smiling. Apparently, this game was an as good sign. It seems that Tony is right as rain.  
“I never say no to pancakes. Shall we?”

Jarvis leads them to Tony’s room and Howard had never consumed this much pancakes in his entire life. It was his fondest memory.

 

 

 

**August 1976**

Tony passed his Austere Academy Boarding School interview with flying colors. They were hesitant to take him at first and only agreed to do the interview to humor Maria who just so happens to be friends with the headmaster’s sister. They weren’t humoring anybody when after meeting him though. Howard must admit, Tony was amazingly articulate for a five-and-a-half-year-old. The boy is usually shy around him and obviously struggles to choose his words when talking to him; as if he were afraid he’d make a mistake or say the wrong thing. It’s one of the reasons he’s jealous of Edwin and Obbi. Tony is never shy around THEM.

The school board was so impressed by Tony, they decided they would start him on the second grade immediately.

“But he wouldn’t be with children his own age!!”

“He doesn’t need to be around children his own age, he needs to be around children who would understand him, darling. And weren’t you planning on homeschooling him before? He wasn’t gonna be around children his age anyway.”

Maria was visibly distressed. She has been restless ever since he told her about the potential mole. Not to mention she has been clinging to Tony. They have taken to reading daily in the library. Tony is apparently fascinated by medieval history, art, mythology, and most importantly, armor.

“I just don’t understand why no one wears armor anymore.” He overheard Tony grumble at his Edwin as he was getting him ready for bed.

“Well, I suppose they found the hustle of putting on and off not worth the trouble anymore. I believe it was quite heavy and uncomfortable to boot.”  
“I would have made a lighter more durable one. It would be easy to put on too.”

“I’m sure you would have.”

“I’m serious!!! It would be out of vibranium like Cap’s shield; that way it’s light and indescribable!!! It would be mostly chainmail because vibrainium is rare of course.”

“Of course, sir.” Edwin sounded amused at being schooled by a would be six years old, but Tony didn’t seem to notice, too caught up with his brilliant idea to recognize that Edwin’s agreement was out of humor.

“It should protect from both blades AND gunshots… it would also look radical!”

“You should make a design and show it to your father.”

“Dad wouldn’t like it.” He said it with a conviction that floored Howard. Apparently, Edwin was just as shocked.

“And why would you say such a thing.”

“He MADE Captain America!! AND his shield!!!! I’m talking about something that’s already been made on the DARK AGES … he’ll just laugh about it in a party.”

“Like he laughed at your car?”

What car? Did he laugh at something Tony made? He couldn’t remember. Tony must have nodded because Edwin started reassuring him that Howard would love his armor design regardless of how medieval it is. Howard had heard enough.

 

“He is already growing up so fast Howard, we don’t need to speed things up for him some more.”

“You and Edwin coddle him too much!! He’ll never be a man with you hovering around him.”

“Howard. He’s FIVE.”

“He’s a Stark. He’s a genius who already has a target on his head-“

“AND WHOSE FAULT IS THAT!?!?”

“It’s easy just blaming me for everything.”

“It’s apparently even easier to turn a blind eye and drink away your problems instead of ACTUALLY doing something about them.”

“I’m trying to protect him fr-“

“NO! You are doing everything humanly possible to avoid admitting that your precious S.H.I.E.L.D, named after your best buddy’s weapon of choice, is spying on you and possibly selling information about your family and security to your many MANY enemies!! You are avoiding the truth and drinking behind my back when you PROMISED you’d stop. You are protecting YOURSELF from the ugly truth and poor Tony is being punished for it.” She was panting by the end of her speech, tears running down her face as she spat venom on him.

Her astuteness was the reason he fell in love with her. He should listen to her. She was never wrong. She was right the first time they met. He needed her more than she needed him. She turned his life around to the better. His social life and career had been going down on a steady decline before he met her that day at the charity gala. He should listen to her.

But she hadn’t met him at his prime. She never saw his true potential, what he was. What he hoped to be again. She hadn’t met Steve. She doesn’t know anything about S.H.I.E.L.D or what he did for them. She didn’t know about how much Peggy’s trust and friendship mean to him, how validating it was. Almost as validating as being Cap’s pal and being considered an honorary Commando.

“I drink because my wife can’t stand me, my own son barely talks to me, and my oldest friend and Butler sides with you over me! I DRINK because I’m an intruder in my own damn house!!!”

Maria stood up from her dresser with an icy glare. The last time she was this angry was when that businessman was being “friendly” with Tony.

“You drink because you hate making weapons, but that’s all you know how to make. You drink because you don’t have the means to realize your grand ideas, you never have. You drink because Obbi is the one keeping your company afloat. You drink because your agency doesn’t need you. You drink because I’m always right. You drink because your son is smarter than you and YOU CAN’T STAND IT.”

Howard doesn’t remember what happened next. Or maybe he doesn’t want to remember. The next thing he knew, a thunderous clap, and a crash was heard. Howard’s right palm was burning. At first, he didn’t understand why, but then he saw Maria, bracing herself on the vanity with one hand, and holding her face with the other. Oh god.

“Maria, I-“he didn’t know what to say. Maria was shocked by frozen where she was. He doesn’t know what to do. Did he do this? Did he just hit the only woman he ever loved, the mother of his child, and his best friend?

Maria finally moved. She seemed to be in a trance, eyes wide open but unseeing. She headed towards her handbag and dug through it until she found what she was looking for. She headed for his bedside table and took one of the car keys then stepped into the walk-in closet.

“Maria, what are you doing?”

“I’m leaving.”

She switched out of her robe and gown and was wearing a red dress with a coat over it. Her hair was in a sloppy low ponytail. Maria was never sloppy; she was always pristine and immaculate.

“It’s late. Where would you go?” He was in a trance himself. Nothing feels real nor right.

“Away.” She was putting on her shoes as she said this while keeping her face turned away from him. Her voice was thick with tears she was valiantly holding back, and her hands shook as she closed the buttons of her coat. She was serious. She was leaving.

“What about Tony?” That stopped her dead on her heels. She stood there, breathes heavy, face towards the door.

When she finally turned around, her eyes were red and filled with unshed tears, her left cheek was bright red and her lip was swollen with a cut at the corner. Howard had never wanted to be struck with lightning as much as he did at that moment.

They stood there watching each other, each waiting for the other to do something. When he didn’t say anything, Maria sighed and left the room.

 

Maria fumbled with the car key. She couldn’t get the damn key into the keyhole!! Her hands were shaking, and she couldn’t see anything from all the tears clouding her vision. She was heartbroken, humiliated, angry, filled with grief and guilt.  
She finally managed to open the door. She got in and it finally dawned on her what she was about to do. She was leaving her baby. Is she leaving her baby? The boy she loved more than life? The boy she whispered promises and everlasting devotions to every night before bedtime and every morning at breakfast? Goodness, she was worse than Howard. At least Howard had the decency to never outwardly love his child, only to suddenly leave him.

She sat in the car and sobbed with her head at the wheel for what seemed like an eternity. Her indecision paralyzed her, and she was left with nothing but grief over her predicament. It was 2:40 am when she heard someone approaching. She was too exhausted to deal with Howard, especially when her face is still throbbing from his strike, the damn bastard.

The footsteps stopped outside her window. She debated ignoring him to continue her pity party, but a part of her hoped he’d come to beg her to stay, to grovel and apologize so she wouldn’t have to be the bad mother who abandoned her child because of a spat. So she raised her and lowered the window only to see a small fist.

It was Tony that came to find her. Tony was slowly opening his palm to show her a firefly that slowly flew into the car.

“Jarvis taught me how to catch them,” he explained. “He said I wouldn’t be able to catch one because it requires patience which I sorely lacked, but Mrs. J said I could if I practiced. So, I did, and I caught one to show you… do you feel better?” He’d been speaking casually up until his last question. He looked so concerned, a look no child his age should wear.

“I do know that I have a little glowing friend here with me.”

“I knew you’d like it.” He looked proud. He was so precious.

“I was talking about you, love.” Now he looked pleased and almost shy. “Come inside and sit with mommy, would you?”

She opened the passenger side door and he climbed in quickly, almonds as if he is afraid, she’d change her mind. He was in a red pajama with dark blue and white fluffy slippers.

“Why are we leaving?” The question was odd. Tony was acting odd. Why was he up this late in the first place? How did he know to find her in the garage? He didn’t seem to notice her face in the dark, thank goodness.

Maria didn’t know what to say. Tony was smart, she couldn’t lie to him, she doesn’t WANT to either. The truth, however, is too heavy of a burden to place on a child this young. She also noticed that he was including himself in the scenario, the little rascal.

“Who said we’re leaving?”

His feet were dangling from the seat and his hair was a bird's nest. It dawned on her that he was probably asleep at some point. Is he having nightmares again? Before she could ask, Tony said something so quietly she didn’t hear him.

“What’s that, love?”

“I said, we should.” He was swinging his feet nervously as he said it.

“And why’s that?”

“Why were you crying?” Tony had taken to deflection lately. It started after his kidnapping, when she asked him what they did to him then cried when he talked about the cigarettes. He started avoiding mentioning anything that would upset her. Her baby boy taking care of her…

“Why should we leave, Tony?”

“… Howard doesn’t like us anymore.”

She was stunned. “Since when do you call your dad Howard? He seemed to like us just fine that day we had breakfast at the bed.”

“That was ages ago. He hasn’t liked me since. He is sending me away and he’s making you cry. We should go to Hungary. Mrs. J says it’s beautiful and people aren’t always hungry there.”

“And leave the Jarvises?” That gave him pause. His brows furrowed and his lips pursed. That was his thinking face, the same as his father’s. Howard.

“We can come back for them and Bucky Bear. Then we would all not cry and not be hungry in Hungary.” He looked very pleased with his idea and wordplay.  
“Sweetheart, Howard loves us,” Tony made a face at that. “He does. He just doesn’t know how to do it right, but he tries. He’s not like me, Edwin, and Anna. We had a lot of practice before. Your father didn’t have a father that loved him, so he doesn’t know what father should be like. Give him time, he’ll get the hang of it.”

Tony looked a little confused. “But he’s sending me away. It’s because I let them take me.”

“Honey, no. Do you remember the story of how Bucky Barnes was taken? Your dad flew Cap & Peggy to go save him. Did Cap and Howard not love Bucky after that?”

“No!!” That did the trick.

“See. You’re going to school because you are brilliant, and the world needs you.”

“He made you cry.”

“Who said he did?”

“I heard you. You two were yelling and then you came out here crying. He’s not a very good husband, mom. You should divorce him.”

He looked so serious when he said it, Maria couldn’t stop herself from laughing. Oh goodness!!! This boy was fire!!!

“You are right, we were yelling. Fighting over stupid adult things. I cried because I was angry, it's known to happen. Thank you for looking out for me, Tony, but that’s my job. I’m supposed to be looking out for YOU.”

He didn’t have a witty comeback to that, so they both looked at the firefly lazily flying around the car until he finally broke the silence again.

“You are the best mom in the world.” She didn’t know she needed to hear this till he said it. He his expression screamed seriousness and conviction. She can feel herself tearing up. She couldn’t cry in front of him, she wouldn’t. Never again would her baby see her cry, so she put on a big smile and said: “Only because you are the best son a mother can have,” and proceeded to smothere him with kisses till the car filled up with his giggles. “Come on, let’s go inside and go to bed.”

“Do we have to?”

“Yes,” she opened her car door and picked up Tony. He was heavy, but this will probably the last time she could before he gets too big to get carried. “We don’t run away from our problems, we face them while looking devilishly good looking.”

“Is the devil good looking?”

“It what it says in the Bible, dear.”

“Is the Bible a reliable source?”

 

Howard was debating calling Peggy for advice. On one hand, she’s the only person that would tell him what he needs to hear, instead of what he WANTS to hear. On the other hand, he will risk losing her respect for him. It was already shaky as it is, only recently restored after his matrimony with Maria.

Maybe he doesn’t deserve respect after what he did. Maybe he should let her leave. Tony would certainly be safer with his keen intuitive loving mother instead of his drunk washed up genius father. He shouldn’t go after her, but he doesn’t know what to without her.

He went to his study and played the war reels. Tony loved them. He couldn’t help but feel grateful that Steve wasn’t here to see him. He contemplated pouring himself a drink but decided against it. He wasn’t drunk when he slapped Maria, and that’s what made it worse.

He stayed there until he heard laughter coming from outside. He was on his feet in a flash. Maria walked in from the garage door carrying Tony on her right hip. She had him carefully positioned so he wouldn’t see her face. Howard felt sick. Here was his wife, protecting her child from reality at her own expense.  
“Maybe you should ask your father.” She said. Voice a little breathless from laughing. Her eyes were red-rimmed still, and her lip swollen. Yet she was laughing at something Tony said.

“Ask me what?” He tried for casual, but from their reactions, it probably came out menacing. They did their silent communication trick and Maria put him down. Tony stood up straight, looked his father in the eye, and asked in all seriousness: “is the Bible a reliable source?”

Maria was barely holding herself from laughing.

“It depends on who you ask.”

“I’m asking you.”

“Uh…” Maria looked so proud of Tony. She was filled with mirth and life, and it was all Tony’s doing. And Howard is about to send him away to boarding school, depriving them of each other. Apart of him knew it wasn’t entirely for Tony’s safety either. God, he’s a villain.

“Well, I believe it has some truth to it, every story does. I just don’t trust it, I trust Science, numbers, and evidence.”  
He seemed satisfied with that.

“Let’s get you to bed. It is waaaaaay past your bedtime.”

“It’s already morning, why sleep?” Maria looked horrified at him, mouthing a silent ‘what are you doing!’, “why don’t you both join me in the study. I was watching the reels. You’ll be heading to school in a few weeks, it’s our last chance to stay up goof off,” Maria had an odd look on her face, and Tony looked torn. He wanted to accept the invitation, but it contradicted his loyalty to his mother.

“That sounds wonderful! What do you think Tony?”

“Can we watch the movie too?”

“Anything for you.” He was looking at Maria as he said it. He needs to make this right.

Tony fell sleep between them halfway through the second reel. They had a debate on which Commando they’d rather be. Tony thinks his mom would be an excellent Agent Peggy, his reasoning being that she’s prettier and smarter than all of them put together. He decided his dad would probably still be Howard. He was torn between wanting to be Captain America or Captain America’s best friend and Commandos’ sniper Bucky. Maria told him that he should just be himself like Howard was. Maria was amazing with Tony. Howard never really saw that he always thought that Maria coddled him too much. He can see now that he was wrong.

Maria was playing with Tony’s hair, softly humming a tune. The fact that she’s here at all was incredible.

“I thought you left.”

“Mmm.”

“Why didn’t you?”

“He found me. He got in the car and told me we should leave. That you didn’t like us anyway. He suggested Hungary.”

He felt his stomach drop. “What did you tell him?”

“I told him that you liked us, but you just didn’t know how to do it right yet. That you’ll get it right eventually.” She finally looked at him and said with a smirk: “he told me I should divorce you.”

“WHAT!!”

“Shush!!! Don’t wake him up!”

“He said that?” He whispered, “that little pipsqueak!!”

“He needs you, Howard. He looks up to you so much. All this fighting is making him pick sides when he shouldn’t. He needs us both, that’s why I stayed.”  
She took a deep breath and said sternly: “if you raise your hand on me or Tony, that will be the end of us.”

“Maria, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

“…”

“Honey?”

“He’s the only reason I’m talking to you at all,” She said as she was looking at the sleeping boy curled up between them. “Make this the best summer of his life. Spend time together, be a role model and a hero to your boy. Be a father to your child, then I’ll forgive you.”

“Anything for you.”


	2. Of Engines & Broom Closets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "We need to discuss your son's… situation."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise the backstory is relevant.

**September 6, 1976**

It was the first day of school. Tony was excited. Jarvis said the whole building would be filled with kids!! He'd only ever met the Carters and a few of his mom's friends' kids. A whole building… and he gets to live with them too!! He feels a little bad for leaving his mom and the Jarvises, but a whole building with kids where they can learn new things… he'd miss home though. His mom and Howard had been spending a lot of time with him. Howard showed him how to use a computer and how to program. His mom gave him piano lessons and Italian lessons. Mrs. J taught him how to dress and groom himself so he would be able to look dashing on the daily. Jarvis kept trying to teach him how to cook.

"how is it that you can disassemble then reassemble every appliance in the kitchen perfectly, yet fail fantastically at each and every one of them, master Tony?"

"Talent?"

 

He overheard his mom and dad talk once over tea. They hadn’t realized he'd come back from the Jarvises. He was sneaking in, hoping to get to his room and change his clothes before either of them saw him. He had tripped on his way back to the house and is covered in grass and mud. His mom didn’t mind him getting messy, but Howard, for some reason, gets angry whenever he messes up his clothes. And when Howard gets angry, his mom gets angry. When his mom gets angry, Howard spends DAYS trying to apologize, buying her gifts and flowers. One time, he brought an Orchestra to play her favorite symphony outside her balcony. Tony tries not to get them angry as much as possible, so sneaking it is.

"-he won't learn anything he hasn’t already learned if we stick him with kids his own age, sweetheart!"

"It's important for his development to be around children his age Howard! He won't make friends or know how to behave around children if all the people he knows are older!"

"We can talk to the school board, ask them to put him in the same dorm as kids his age. That way, he can have the education that he DESERVES, and can still have friends!" Howard had sounded so pleased with himself. Like had just solved the world's biggest problem.

"Oh, yes, sure… he will have friends his age. What about sports? Who will he have physical education with? The older kids? He'll be the smallest one, it's not fair!!"

"Steve was smaller and weaker than the rest and he still-"

"Oh, would you shut up about Steve?!! Peggy was IN LOVE with the man and even she doesn’t talk about him as much as you do! Are you physically capable of not bringing him up in EVERY discussion we have about Tony?"

"All I'm saying is, it could be good for him. Toughen him up. He's too soft Maria, maybe being surrounded by bigger smarter kids will make him think faster, do better."

"Un. Be. Lievable! You are UNBELIEVABLE!! Howard, Tony is ALREADY surrounded by bigger smarter kids. YOU are the bigger smarter kid!"

"Hey! I resent that!"

"He is already competing with Captain America for your love and approval, not to mention that fact that he tries his best to prove himself to the world that he is the next Howard Stark!! The boy is quick and bright. What he NEEDS is friends, ones that don't have grand expectations. He needs to be himself."

So… his mom wants him to have friends and his dad wants him to be the best at school… He could do that. How hard can making friends and being the absolute best at a huge school with 300 students can be? It can't be harder than building a toaster from scratch! Which was hard only because he wasn't allowed to use the soldering iron yet.

 

 

First day of school. All the "first graders" were dressed up in their uniforms and standing together with their parents. Tony was with his mom and Jarvis. Howard had to go to work and mom didn't seem upset about it. He'd already said his goodbye last night and promised to check up on him. Mom was wearing a white suit and pearls. She looked like an angel if the Bible was to be believed. Jarvis looked like Jarvis, prim and waiting for a disaster to clean up. Jarvis said that's what happens to your face when you spend too much time with Howard and Peggy. His uniform was nice. Khaki shorts, a pale blue pinstriped button-down, with a burgundy blazer and tie. He had a brown leather belt and matching shoes that go over his pale blue knee-high socks. Each grade had a different colored shirt.

All the kids were fidgeting or being fussed over by one of their parents. There were 40 students in the large auditorium. There was a line where you register and they give you name tags, then you take a seat and wait for orientation. There were coffee, juice, and snacks on the side. Tony loved everything about the place. He was so quite, silently trying to take everything in, that mom thought he was nervous.

"Tony, sweetheart, if you don't want to do this, we can come next year," when he looked at her with shock, she took it as fear and rushed to reassure him: "it's okay, you don't need to worry about Howard. I'll deal with him. Just say the-"

"I want to go to school."

"You… do?"

"Yeah! In the pamphlet, it said they have a library with a _thousand_ books and a science club!! They even have a robotics team!!!

"That's right, it does say that, doesn't it?" she smiled the way he liked. A real smile, not the 'I'm smiling because we have company' smile or the 'We'll deal with this _later_ ' smile. He liked that smile. "Well then, that's settled."

Orientation was great! Most of the kids got bored or sleepy, some even got fidgety from staying in one place for so long, but not Tony. Tony absorbed everything like a sponge. Breakfast time, schedule, classes, PE, facilities, staff, etc. They took a tour after orientation and then they were shown to their rooms, where their parents can help them unpack before they leave.

Each room housed 3 students; two in bunk beds and one without. He was roomed with Gerard Jonson and Henry Kent. Mrs. Kent gasped when they walked in. She recognized them immediately and the other parents soon realized that they were in the presence of Mrs. Stark. They introduced the children and he can hear Mrs. Kent tell her son to be nice to Anthony while Mr. Jonson kept pushing his son in his direction. The parents insisted that Tony pick which bed first and wouldn't take his mom's offer to a friendly rock, paper, scissors solution. So Tony shyly picked the bottom bunk bed which was the right choice from the look on his mom's face. Henry got the other bed and Gerard the top bunk. They went down to the cafeteria, had one last lunch together and then it was time to say goodbye.

Some kids cried and some hugged their parents too long. Tony was starting to feel like he might not see them again, the other kids are stressing him out!

"You're gonna send me letters, right?"

"Of course, dear. Letters, pictures, little trinkets, and gifts… you'll get sick of me!"

"Never." He hated when his mom did that thing. The thing where she talks like she's too much. It's Howard's fault. He's not sure how he knows this, but he's certain it is.

"I love you to the moon and back."

"Me too! I love you to Pluto and back!" That made his mom laugh her real laugh, the one where she snorts at the end. Success!!

"Master Tony, I do need to warn you that I too will be sending letters and expecting a reply to each one,"

"Goodbye love, have a lovely adventure."

 

Back in his room, Gerard and Henry were already there and taking out their books for tomorrow. He joined them and they started talking about baseball, making friends was easy!

 

 

 

"Mister Stark."

"…"

"Mister Stark!" giggles and whispers.

Mr. Fraye stood at Tony's desk and contemplated what to do. The boy was sleeping I class. Again. He smacked his hand on his desk and startled the boy awake. Anthony Stark was a menace in the classroom, he knew everything, finished all his tasks early, then disrupts the class. Him falling asleep, if it weren't disrespectful, was a best-case scenario. His father donated a ridiculous amount of money to the school last month, which means the principle wasn't about to look closely at Mr. Stark's behavior. Typical.

"Are we boring you Mr. Stark?" he drawled, the other students loved the drama. It's unfortunate how often they get to witness it.

Tony looked around, bleary-eyed, looking for what woke him up. When he finally registered Mr. Fraye's words, he muttered something. Something suspiciously like: "oh, it's still your class. Damn."

The kids close to him heard and giggled.

"Mr. Stark!! Not only were you asleep in class but now you're swearing at your teacher!"

"I wasn't swearing at you sir; I was swearing at life. Big difference." The rest of the class laughed.

"That is IT. To the principal's office, NOW."

 

**November 8, 1976**

 

"We need to discuss your son's… situation. As much as I endorse and encourage children to learn with their peers, Anthony's case is different. He is too smart to be in first grade; he is mentally way overhead of his classmates and it is causing him to get bored in class. That results in him causing mayhem!! The boy's behavior is getting out of hand. He is usually well behaved; he only acts out of boredom or disinterest. He's been skipping classes to go read in the library."

Howard gave Maria a look. She took a deep breath and prayed for patience, because really? Is this the time for "I told you so"? sometimes he could be such a child.

"What do you suggest?" she asked, she knew what the principal was about to suggest, and she knew she wouldn't like it.

"He needs to be moved up, he needs to be challenged. We are thinking of customizing a schedule for him, to make sure that he can still be around his friends and classmates in courses such as PE and art. He'll have the rest of his classes with the third graders, and supplementary clas-"

"Excuse me, but did you just say _third grade_?"

"Your son's abilities are exceptional Mrs. Stark, and I'm not just talking about his academic abilities. He is quite possibly the most popular kid in his grade. The reason we are customizing his schedule, which has never been done, mind you, is because we, as staff, are genuinely concerned his classmates are going to riot. A concept he introduced to his classmate after he staged a "mutiny" and locked Mr. Fraye out of the class by somehow making a replica key and gave them a history lesson."

Both Maria and Howard looked stunned. Tony's only been in school a month! Maria knew he was a force to be reckoned with, but he was always on his best behavior and kept his shenanigans to a minimum. She can see Howard mouthing "staged a mutiny" to himself and looking absolutely bewildered. Truth be told, she's bewildered herself.

"Our plan is to keep him busy, keep an eye on him, and pray for salvation. It's all we can do," The principal was an older woman, not too old, but old enough to look absolutely done. She screamed headmistress. "Don't get me wrong, we love Anthony, as troublesome as he can get, he's never disrespectful, except to Mr. Fraye. He was called to my office three times, and in each, he had managed to convince me of his motives and good intentions. He also expressed how much more he wants to do, practically begged me to have us credit him for his library hours instead of attending Mr. Fraye's class. It would do them both good to get him to a different class. I assure you Mrs. Stark, Anthony's well-being our first priority."

Maria didn't look happy, but she agreed. When they left the office, Tony was outside in the Headmistress's secretary office, eating candy while Miss. Smith was laughing at something he said. He perked up when he saw them and jumped out of the chair.

"Like always Dorothy, it's been a pleasure, but I gotta go."

"Dorothy" smiled fondly at him and waved at them as the left. Well, he was Howard's son alright. Lord, have mercy.

"Is there a place we can talk, love?" Tony's smiled dropped when he saw her face. She can see almost hear his brain going a mile a minute trying to know what he did wrong. "I missed you so much! Look at you!" that seemed to calm him down.

"Missed you too!! C'mon, there are benches in the courtyard."

Tony kept pointing out classmates, teachers, staff, and even the janitors who have all waved enthusiastically. The principal was right about him being popular. Howard looked stunned at all the attention Tony was getting, it was almost as if he was seeing his son for the first time, _really_ seeing him.

When they finally reached the benches, Maria finally faced her son and finally said sweetly "So, a mutiny. Would you like to elaborate?"

"It was Mr. Fraye's fault!! He said if I thought I could give a better class, then I was welcome. I took his offer!"

"They are moving you to the third-grade love."

"FINALLY!" Howard actually told her "I told you so" as Tony stood on the bench to shout the good news to a kid all the way across the courtyard who ran shouting the news everywhere.

"kids these days are so strange," Howard whispered and Maria couldn't help but agree.

 

**Summer, 1976**

 

Maria agreed to let Tony invite his friends over the summer. The Stark mansion was full of laughter. The kids were swimming and playing in the yard. Their parents had dropped them off early at noon and were to pick them up at six. Maria needed to distract Tony as much as possible. Howard was drinking again, has been since Tony went off to school. He stopped whenever Tony came over for the holiday, but its summer now. He has been in a foul mood and seems to direct it at Tony. When Tony suggested inviting his friends, Maria immediately made calls and arrangements.

There were four boys, Tony being the fifth, and three girls. Tony was ecstatic to have his friends over. They played, ate and ran around like little monkeys. At some point, a boy, Noah, walked into Howard's study. Howard was at the phone and looked like he'd never seen a child in swimming trunks before in his life.

"Who the hell are you?"

"I'm Noah."

"Well _Noah_ , get out!" Tony walked right at this moment and whispered something to the so-called Noah, who left while looking at Howard like he's crazy.

"Hold on Obbi, I gotta go," he hung up and turned to his son. "What the hell is going on?"

"My friends are over." Going to school has made Tony bold. He looks Howard in the eye and talks back freely. No longer was he the boy that looks for his mother or Jarvis when faced with his father.

"Keep your friends away from my office. And tell your mom to come to see me."

"No."

"No?"

"You'll only make her sad again if you want to talk to mom, go find her yourself."

"Get the hell out."

 

 

"Howard, he's just a child."

"A disrespectful child!"

"And what do you suggest? Your old man's method of discipline? Hmm?"

"Maria, no I- that's not what I meant."

"Haven't we learned our lesson from Mr. Fraye? Instead of demanding respect, maybe you should earn it."

"Maria, he's a child!"

"Yes, a child whose absent father is distant. Not to mention the fact that he walked in on you almost hitting me and a found me another time crying after a fight. He has no respect for you FOR A REASON."

Howard looked away at that. "Do you have any ideas?" he said in a small voice. He looked small; his work has been hell. They hadn't had any leads on the mole, and he was going back to the weapons venture. Cutting off his drink so suddenly hasn’t helped either.

"Invite him to the workshop."

He did. He taught Tony how to handle a soldering torch and the next thing he knew; Tony built an engine. The press was called again, and the story made headlines. Obbi bought Tony a custom tool kit in celebration. Tony seemed to bask in the attention. Howard decided it was time to give the boy a proper education over the summer. Tony was to be trained in etiquette. The only problem was convincing Maria.

"Only if he takes up ballroom dance as well."

"Agreed"

 

**1978**  
  
Tony was in the library working on a science paper. He’s eight, but dawning sixth grader pale yellow summer polo instead of third-grade lime green. The principal, Mrs. Ashton, said that he would graduate at the end of the year and will join the Middle schoolers in the next campus. That means no more Noah, Henry, Farris, and Gerard. No more Lola, Wendy, and René. Skipping grades hadn’t made a difference before; he was still on the same campus and dorm as his friends. He doesn’t have any friends that are older than him; they don’t like him too much. They call him “ _Ant_ -ony” and “Tony  _Speck,”_  but never near any of the teachers. They push him and trip him whenever they thought they could get away with it. His friends and former classmates stand up to him, but they weren’t always there. He’s worried about what would happen when he goes to a whole new campus and moves to a new dorm room. He’ll have older roommates, and none of his friends with him and that makes him nervous.

  
He wrote to Jarvis about it, only Jarvis though. He made him swear not to tell his mom or Howard because he didn’t want to cause trouble at home. It's bad enough as it is. Howard and his mom don’t act like the other kids’ parents. They weren’t like Aunt Peggy and Daniel, who always looked at each other and held hands under the table. They weren’t like Jarvis and Mrs. J. Howard doesn’t drop everything just because his mom called him as Jarvis does, and his mom doesn’t kiss Howard in public until he turns red as Mrs. J does. They fight, then his mom ignores Howard for days while Howard buys her shoes, jewelry, and the best clothes until she finally talks to him again. Sometimes though, he hears them singing together, his mom on the piano and Howard next to her. They would laugh and whisper. He liked it when they got along, no need to ruin it. He can handle dumb eleven-year-old kids on his own.

He didn't want this year to end, but Howard had never been more pleased with him. He even sent him a letter last week asking him what he would like for his graduation present. He can't please both his parents. Whenever he made his mom happy, Howard is angry. Whenever he makes Howard happy, his mom looks upset and smiles tightly. Honestly, he prefers to please his mother; she doesn't get mad at him when he doesn't do as she asks, unlike Howard whose life motto was "my way or the highway," according to his mother at least.

He's thinking of asking Howard for a family vacation; it's what Noah's family does every summer. It sounded like fun; they could even take the Jarvises!

He finished his paper and decided to grab a few travel and geography books from the library before heading out to his last class for the day, PE. He was thinking about vacation destinations, he's partial to Italy, and wasn't paying attention to who was following him on his way to the gym. He hadn't made it far from the library when someone grabbed him from the back and covering his mouth. At first, he thought it could be Gerard messing around like he always does, but the hands that were on him held on too forcefully to be friendly, and his friends usually covered his eyes and asked "guess who," not his mouth!! He tried to kick his assailant and free himself from their grip.

"Hold still, you little speck!"

"Quick! Before someone sees us!"

They were sixth graders, about five of them. He can see their yellow blazers. They were wearing fencing masks, so he couldn't tell who they were. They dragged him behind the library building and to the main building's back door. All the while, Tony kicked and tried to set himself free to no avail. They opened the door and headed to the basement. Nobody but the janitors were allowed there. It was dark, and it smelled like dust and mold. It had several storage rooms and an electricity room. He was scared. He was shaking, and all he can think about was men in black putting a funny smelling handkerchief on his face. The boy leading the team started to open the farthest storage room.

Managing to shake off the hand covering his mouth, he decided to reason with them.

"Let me go! I won't tell anyone if you let me go." This doesn't have to be a big deal. It's not like the time those men took him; it's okay. He's in school, and these are his classmates, they're probably just messing around. They won't hurt him.

"Maybe we should let him go…" the one holding him said quietly. The one unlocking the door didn't answer. He opened the door and walked in, and the rest followed. It wasn’t really a room; it was a broom closet that doesn't look like it's been used in ages. There was dust covering everything, cobwebs in every corner and between every shelf, brooms, and mops, and there was one burnt out lightbulb hanging from the ceiling. They were serious.

"HELP! SOMEONE HELP, PLEASE! HEL-" he got kicked in the stomach so bad, he dropped to his knees, hard. He didn't see who did it, but he had a suspicion. The kid that opened the door, the ringleader apparently, used this chance to push him further into the room then shut the door and locked Tony in. He was on the floor, nauseous from the blow to his abdomen and breathing in dust. He couldn’t see anything but the faint light from under the door. He could feel tears welling up his eyes, and his stomach hurt like crazy. It was so dark.

"Are you sure someone's gonna find him?"

"Oh, please. I'm pretty sure the school will call the national guard if he's late five minutes to class."

They kept talking, but Tony couldn’t hear them over the fact that yup, he was throwing up his lunch. By the time he stopped heaving, it finally registered that it was silent outside and that they'd left him in this secluded dark dusty, and now smelly, small broom closet!!

He tried the door, then tried calling for help, but none of that worked. He was scared, and he couldn’t see anything! But that's okay because Stark men were made of iron. Fire shapes them, and the cold makes them stronger… but there was no fire or cold here in this closet, just the dark and silence. What is the Stark men's policy on dark and silence? God, it stinks.

Someone is going to find him; he just has to wait for help and keep himself distracted. Keep a cool head, that's what his mom would tell him if she were here. His eyes adjusted to the dark a few minutes later, and he could finally make up his surroundings. It wasn't much. He was sitting with his back to the door. All three walls had shelves, leaving barely any room in the middle. The right corner had enough space for brooms and mops. It was big enough for someone to stand in. The corner did have a bunch of brooms and a mop propped on the wall. It almost looked like a person dressed in all black standing very still in the corner. A man with long hair and no face. The man from Tony's nightmare, the one with the shining arm.

 

 

 

It was only during bedtime did the dorm's superintendent notice Tony was missing. He asked the boy's roommates where he was, and they told him that Tony hadn't come to bed and hadn't been to PE, the only class he shares with them, either. He asked them about his favorite spots and decided to check there first before he made a fuss. Mr. Whitman checked the courtyard, the bleachers, the library, and found nothing. He notified the principal who called in the secretary and the janitors.

"How long has he been missing?" Mrs. Ashton looked pale.

"Since maybe 3:00?"

"You're telling me that one of my students,  _my top student_ , has been missing for  _five hours_  and I'm just hearing about this?!"

"Kids hide and stay passed curfew all the time; he'll turn up."

"Not Tony Stark! Mr. Whitman, do you know who his father is? We need to find him right now! Look everywhere, open every door, and check every corner. Look into every dorm room. If we don't find him within the hour, I'll need to notify his parents."

They all stood there and stared.

" _NOW_!"

 

 

They found him forty minutes later balled up on the floor in an old locked storage room in the basement. He had vomited and had been obviously crying for who knows how long. His voice sounded hoarse when he spoke as if he had screamed his throat raw. They took him to the nurse's office for a change of clothes and a check-up. This was a disaster; his parents need to be notified immediately.

By the time Mrs. Stark arrived, Mrs. Ashton had already heard what happened from a freshly cleaned and much calmer Tony. The poor boy had been shaking violently but still managed to tell her everything he knew, which wasn’t much. She had sent him to the cafeteria afterward where Edith had made him soup for his throat and made sure he ate. She was not looking forward to this conversation with Mrs. Stark.

"Where is Tony?" Mrs. Stark was a young woman that usually dresses like an older woman, but not today. She looked young and scared with her hair in disarray and her face make-up free.

"Tony is safe and having lunch with Edith. Please have a seat, Mrs. Stark, and I'll tell you what happened."

“A group of students locked him in an old unused broom closet right before last period. He got hurt trying to get away, but nothing serious, I assure you. The nurse already checked him. He may have gotten nauseous, and a little rattled, but I assure-“

  
“I don’t care about your reassurances, damn it!! How long has he been down there?!?”

  
“Almost six hours … give or take.”

  
“ _SIX HOURS_  and no one bothered to call me?!?”

  
“We were only aware of his disappearance when he wasn’t accounted for by the superintendent around bedtime.”

  
“Unbelievable. The best school in the state!!! And you said he was "fine"? A little "rattled" but  _fine_?!? Bullshit!! This is unacceptable!”

  
“You have every right to be upset Mrs-“

  
“Oh, I’m beyond upset. I’m _livid_!”

  
“Understandably so, I know it might not mean much to you right now, but I will find whoever did this.”

  
“See that you do. In the meantime, I will be collecting my son and taking him home. Which is where he’ll be staying until  _you_  find who did this and suspend them.”

  
“Mrs. Stark, I think a suspension is a little too much. And you can’t take your son with you!”

  
“Watch me!”

  
“What about his schoolwork!!”

  
“He’s an eight-year-old sixth grader; he’ll catch up.”

  
As Mrs. Stark marched out of the office and slammed the door, the principal couldn’t help but think that went better than she thought. She honestly expected more yelling, a broken ornament, and a lawsuit. Now that that’s done with finding the culprits is not going to be easy. What. A. Mess.

 

  
  
“Mom, do you remember the man from my nightmares?”

  
They were back in the mansion. They drove two hours, and his mom said he’ll be studying from home until his dad comes from his business trip to deal with his school. He had been shaking the entire trip home. He was wearing an oversized shirt that wasn’t his, and he had a scrape on his knee from hitting the floor. He almost cried when he saw his mom rushing into the cafeteria to get him and finally did when he saw Jarvis with the car outside. His mom sat with him in the back seat and sang Italian songs while running her fingers through his hair.

  
When they got home, Jarvis made him hot chocolate and promised to start making his favorite sweet bun while he got dressed. They had just finished eating, and Jarvis had left the parlor after clearing up the table when he decided to bring up the nightmare man. He never told his mom, but he never really stopped dreaming of him. In his dreams, the man always stood in the distance, watching. Still at the corner of his eye but disappearing the minute, he turned around. This time was different. This time, the nightmare man stood tall and looming for hours in front of him in a small dark room. He knew no one was really there, that it was an upside-down mop propped up on the wall. But it felt real, so he decided to ask, to make sure.

  
“The one without a face?” His mom’s voice was tight. She didn’t like the subject, but she was willing to humor him anyway.

  
“Yeah… is he real? Did I really see him, or was he a dream?”

  
“Have you had more nightmares love?”

  
“No, well, yes, but… sometimes, he seems real?”

  
“Sweetheart, I promise you, as long as I breathe, nothing and no one will ever hurt you and get away with it.”

  
“… not even Howard?”

  
“Especially Howard. So don’t you worry about no nightmare man, because mommy can be just as scary if someone hurts her brave little boy.”

 

 

  
  
“No need to call over Maria, Jarvis my good man, I’ll just run into the boss man’s office real quick and-“ Obbi stopped mid-sentence when he opened Howard’s office only to find Tony sitting in one of the large armchairs next to a pile of books. The boy was reading a book three times his size and had to crane his head to look over the book at him. “Well hello, there boss boy. Aren’t you supposed to be in school?”

  
“I’m studying from home til How- til dad comes home.”

  
“Right on, little man. Such a chip off the old block. Making your own rules and letting the world follow you. I respect that.” Obbi boomed.

  
Tony beamed at the praise. Tony liked Obbi. He was tall and always wore cool glasses and he put Tony on his shoulders and played with him whenever he came over. He always carries candy in his pockets just for him too.

  
“Obbi! You’re here, and you didn’t bother to say hello to little old me? That breaks my heart.” His mom said as she came into the office too. She looked like she had rushed to the room from the red in her cheeks and the way she breathed.

  
“Oh, Maria. You know I would love nothing but to bask in your company, but I’ve got to pick up some papers for Howard. Boring, but urgent business affairs. I’m afraid I don’t have time to waste.”

  
“That’s a shame; it’s been a while since we had you over for dinner.”

  
“Maybe after Howard finishes this business deal.” He smiled at her, and his mother relaxed. He opened the safe, picked up a file, ruffled Tony’s hair, and said his goodbyes and left as quick as he came.

  
“Did you tell him anything?” His mom sounded odd. She was looking at the office door with a strange look on her face.

  
“Just that I’ll be studying at home for a while … was that supposed to be a secret?”

  
“No darling, I was just wondering what you two were talking about, that’s all.”

 

  
  
  
“You can’t be serious, Mrs. Stark!! They are children!” One mother objected, stereotypically clutching her pearls.

  
“They probably didn’t mean for it to get this far, then got too scared to come forward.” A father added, looking around nervously at the other parents.

  
“Besides,” this one Maria loathed the most. A hulking hotshot father who thinks he can buy his way out of any problem… Well, you can’t buy Maria’s forgiveness, she has none to sell. “Boys will be boys. Your little runt shoulda' took it like a man.”

  
Maria sat perfectly poised. She looked perfect in her Chanel suit. Her hair in a gleaming blonde French twist and her lips blood red. She wasn’t here for pleasantries; she was here to make a statement.

  
“Mr. Garret, what your son and his friends did does not classify as play,” Mrs. Ashton has seen better days. She had spent a week trying to find out who locked Tony in the broom closet until one of the boys, a timid large one, finally reached out to her and told her. “Not only did they steal the key from one of the janitors, but they also followed and planned their attack. It was premeditated! Which is highly concerning.”

  
“But a restraining order? On twelve-year-olds? Don’t you think you’re overeating Mrs. Stark?” This one was a lawyer; he is aware of how bad this could be for the future of his son but is valiantly trying not to show it.

  
“They study in the same school and will be going to the same middle school campus together! They’re bound to run into each other!” This was the timid child’s father. He looked just as timid as his son, and just like his son, he is the first to make a reasonable conclusion.

  
“That little hiccup will sort itself out when you move your kids across the state and away from my son,” Maria said casually.

  
“Why do  _WE_  need to move our kids when it’s  _you_  who is issuing restraining orders on our children Mrs. Stark.”

  
“Because transferring your children is the compromise Mrs. Stark has generously agreed to. If you don’t transfer your children, I will be in the position to suspend them, which will go on their records on top of the restraining order. I honestly think it’s very big of Mrs. Stark to suggest the transfer. I’d take it if I were you.”

  
The parents looked dumbfounded, but it didn't last. Mr. Garret, the oaf, snapped out of it first and started fuming.

  
“Transfer your little  _brat_  if you gotta a problem. I graduated from Auster, and so did my father! My son is no different. Unlike  _some_  people, _our_  family comes from a long line of respectable, hard-working American citizens!!! Not some nobody womanizing drunk  _has-been_  and his Italian  _whore_!!” the other parents gasped at the outburst.

  
“MR. GARRET!!” Principal Ashton looked like she was about to faint.

  
“Well, Lenard Garret, Stanford graduate and lawyer for Anderson & Wayne for law,  _this_  Italian whore just so happens to be best friends with your firms biggest and oldest client’s wife. My nobody  _ex-_ womanizing drunk husband is his golf buddy and close friend. So close, that he had been trying to get my husband to be a client of yours for a while now. Can you imagine the toll on your firm when it loses their biggest client and Howard Stark as a potential client all because of…  _you_? Don’t be stupid and take my offer; it's more than your child deserves after what he did to mine. And maybe then you’d still have a job to shelter your  _respectable family_.” Maria turned to the rest of the parents who all looked uncomfortable and scared in varying degrees. “This goes for the rest of you too. I can’t protect my child from getting hurt, but I can damn well make sure those who do get ruined beyond repair.”

  
The timid parent reached for the transfer papers first and signed, the rest followed. Mr. and Mrs. Garret were last.

  
“Your children will continue this school year, but they will be part of the homeschooling program. They are not allowed on school grounds and will not be attending graduation.” Mrs. Ashton informed them. They agreed to the conditions Mrs. Ashton set, but Maria stopped listening.

  
It would have been satisfying to see them so defeated, but she felt hollow. Tony had been having severe night terrors ever since the incident. It had gotten so bad; he needed medicine to sleep. His first nightmare happened to be two days after coming home, the day Obbi had stopped by. It has been two weeks, and Howard was still away on business, S.H.I.E.I.L.D business, so she decided to take matters into her own hands. She would not make her boy feel unsafe.

She knew letting Howard convince her to let Tony skip grades was a bad idea. It was alienating Tony from his peers, getting him too much attention, forcing Tony to grow up faster to keep up, and putting too much unnecessary pressure on him. Howard is too busy looking at things from a business perspective, that he forgets that Tony is a child,  _his child_ , not a project or an investment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please let me know your thoughts.


	3. Howard's End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Howard had never felt threatened until today.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a continuation on last chapter's events.

Howard had a fight with Peggy, a vicious one, on their way back from London. A spy stole some documents from Howard, and while retrieving them, Peggy discovered that P.E.G.A.S.U.S was not only trying to locate Captain America's ship but also to replicate the super soldier serum.

"We are NOT recreating the super soldier serum, that was the agreement!! Howard, you promised me that you would let it go, it was why I agreed to cofound S.H.I.E.L.D with you!"

"Shield is about honoring Steve-"

"Shield is about protecting and shielding the innocents from veiled threats! It is against corruption and injustice. It is to put a stop to bullies, regardless of who they are, not recreating Captain America!"

"See, this is why I need you, Peggy, you understood him like no one, but Barnes did. He was gone too soon; the world needs Steve Rogers, and I was trying to find-"

"Steve is dead, Howard."

"Clearly, and you didn't hesitate to jump onto the next-"

"Finish your sentence, and it will be the last time we speak." She was angry, and rightfully so. Howard had that effect on the women in his life.

"I- how did you move on? It's been years, and the more time passes the heavier and more difficult living without him seems. Finding him wasn’t get me anywhere, so I thought I'd work with Zola on the serum. We keep getting close, but we can't seem to get it right. I'm sorry I hid it from you, but I just wanted to feel close to my friend again." He knew he sounded pathetic, but Peggy seems less angry now, more worried.

"You have a lovely wife and a precious son, why are you chasing ghosts?"

"it's funny; Maria said the same thing."

"she's brilliant, that woman. Way more than you deserve if you ask me."

"I've been less deserving of late… I- Peggy, do you and Daniel ever fight?"

"of course, not only are we husband and wife, I happen to be his superior at work. We fight constantly, but we both know that our love for each other and our children come first. That's what is important."

 "Do your kids get involved?" Peggy gave him a puzzling look. Howard felt awkward and stupid, two things he hasn’t felt in a long time. "Most of our fights are about Tony. It's always about Tony with her, and she thinks I'm not spending enough time with him and that-"

"you've been drinking again," Peggy finished for him. "It's how they bypassed your security in the first place, and I'm not an idiot Howard, I've known you for too long."

What should he tell her? That he hadn't made an invention that worked for five years now? That the bigger and smarter Tony gets, the slower and more useless he feels? That his wife has no room in her heart for anyone but her precious boy? That he was drunk on the day the fucking Winter Soldier came to snatch his son? That he slapped Maria for telling the truth? That his son hates him and told his mom to divorce him?

"You know you can talk to me, Howard. I am your friend too, you know, and so is Jarvis."

"Jarvis has pledged allegiance to his majesty king Anthony," he said jokingly, but he sounded so tired and worn, that it just came out a sad.  Here he was a grown man jealous of an eight-year-old.

"Tony does make for a better company," she smiled at his angry look. "He showed me an armor design once before he left for school. He wanted me to approve it before he showed it to you, Tony said something about how he wasn’t showing the man who made Captain America an unapproved design," this was the first time he's heard of this. " I told him you didn't make Steve, that Steve was already a hero and a good man. I told him you made the shield, which functions the same as his armor, to protect. I told him Steve would've been just as proud of the design as he was with the shield."

Peggy took a deep breath and looked at Howard, "You didn't make Steve, Howard. Steve was his own person with a brave heart and agency. He is not your accomplishment or one of your clever little trinkets you keep so neatly stacked in your lab. The same goes for your son. Let Tony grow into who he is meant to be, not who you _want_ him to be. You treat your child like a prototype; that's what is causing Maria grief," he looked up at the mention of Maria and Peggy just rolled her eyes. "Don't look so surprised; we talk occasionally."

"He never showed me the design. Maria keeps urging me to use our love for inventing as common ground-"

"Then, why don't you?"

"Because he's _brilliant_ , Peg. God, I sound like a child."

"You do," Peggy didn't sound disgusted with him, that's good. "Howard, so what if you haven't invented in a while? You are in a position to guide and mentor generations. There are other ways you could contribute to a better, brighter future, isn't that why you started the Expo?" she held his hand and continued. "Tony is intelligent because he could be so freely. I'm very proud of you, Howard."

Howard felt sick. His skin feels too tight, and he feels hot and cold suddenly. Guilt and shame sat heavy in the pit of his stomach. Peggy's validation has always put him in a high, but not now. Now, it made him feel heavy. He has to tell her.

"Peggy, a few years ago I slapped Mari-" he got punched so hard, his nose broke.

 

 

 

 

Jarvis was there to pick them up. He had seemed agitated, which wasn’t new these days, but more so recently. He started to say something but then stopped once he saw Carter stomping her feet and purposely not looking at Howard as she made a straight line to the car. Peggy is usually met with Daniel when she goes on a mission longer than a few days, but he saw her make a call from the jet right after she punched him. He couldn’t hear what she said as he was too busy tending to his broken nose to eavesdrop, but he could guess.

  
“What on earth happened to you? Sir.” he seemed to add the title as an afterthought, it made Howard smile, which made him wince because, that’s right, broken nose. Jarvis used to forget to call him by title back when they were more friends than employee and employer. Things have changed since then. Since…

  
“Carder bunched me in de face and broke my nodz.”

  
“Well, I hope you have recovered enough. Mrs. Stark is not happy with you either at the moment, and I’m afraid she might resort to Mrs. Carter’s methods of… _communication_.” Jarvis was completely serious.

  
“Whad did I do dis time?”

  
Any amusement and former camaraderie between them disappeared just as quickly as it came. “It would best to speak to Mrs. Stark.”  
He got into the car with the icy Mrs. Sousa-Carter and spent the most awkward car ride in his life.

 

  
Maria was outside waiting for them in a lovely yellow summer dress and her hair in a bun. It was late afternoon, so he thought the red in her cheeks was courtesy of the sun, but the closer he got, the more he realized that fury was what colored his darling wife’s face. Today was _NOT_ his day, apparently.  
Jarvis said something to the seething Carter, and they walked past them and into the mansion. Whatever this was about, Jarvis knew it was going to get ugly and was trying to spare him the humiliation. It was nice to know the old sport still cared about him.

  
“ _Howard_.” Oh, right, the angry wife. His face hurt.

  
“Baria, listen, I’m tired, and Peggy already broke my nose-“

  
“She should’ve broken your _neck_.”

  
“HEY!”

  
“Two months. You were gone for _two months,_ and I don’t get a phone call or a letter or-“

  
“We were on radio silence, a call woulda-“

  
“Radio silence. Right. You had time to call Obbi for the _company_ , but you couldn’t send word to your wife and child that you were alive and well and will be gone for TWO MONTHS!”

  
“Baria, please-“

  
“You missed his graduation,” her voice shook with anger. “Kids at his school locked him in a broom closet for six hours, and you weren’t there.”

  
“Baria, what-“

  
“DON’T TOUCH ME!” Howard snatched back his hand like he was burned. She looked like she was boiling with fury. He had wanted to comfort her, to hold her close and promise to make it up to her and Tony. To throw a party for him and see to those who harmed him. But Maria didn’t want his comfort, she wanted something else. A confrontation, with Peggy _right there_ in the mansion somewhere with Jarvis with her. Right here in their front yard.

  
“Let’s go inside, honey. You could tell me all about-“

  
“I TRIED!!! I’ve been calling and sending letters, and if it hadn’t been to Daniel, I would have thought you were dead, or worse-“

  
“What’s worse than being _dead_?”

  
”ABANDONED! I thought you left us. That’s what’s worse you selfish, self-absorbed egotistical narcissistic douche!!”

  
“I-“Maria had never resorted to calling him names. She looked thin, and she was wearing too much makeup to be out in the heat. Maria looked stressed thin, and it was his fault. She tried to reach him, and he didn’t even notice. It had honestly not occurred to him to send word to her. He was too busy trying to find the stolen papers before Carter found out what he had been up to for years to spare a minute for his wife and child. Peggy found out in the end and Maria … well. Maria was pissed.

  
“Tony had to see a doctor. He needs medication to sleep. He has night terrors, Howard,” her resolve broke, and she cried then. “He said you told him you would come to the graduation; he was waiting for you. So unless you were held captive and was dying the entire two months, which judging from Peggy’s attitude you weren’t, then I don’t want to hear it.”

  
“I bade a bistake at work and-“

  
“You’ve been making a lot of mistakes lately.”

  
“Well, what do you expect of me!! Drop everything because of a _graduation_?! _Everyone_ graduates elementary-“

  
“Not at eight years old! And he was in trouble, and you weren’t ther-“

  
“If he’s too soft to handle a joke like a man then-“ and that was the second time he gets interrupted with a punch to the face by a woman he didn’t deserve or cherish enough today.

  
Peggy and Jarvis had decided to come out and see if they could convince the quarreling couple to take it inside at that moment. Of course.

  
“Maria!” That was Peggy rushing across the lawn to chastise Mari- “are you hurt? Did he hurt you? Oh, darling, don’t cry! Jarvis just told me about poor Tony! I wish you had sent word to me; I could’ve helped …”

  
When he looked up, he found the two women hugging with one cooing at the other. Peggy was doing what had meant to do. Comforting and promising the world while Maria cried her heart out. These two women punched him today, and he was the bad guy?!?

  
“Sir.” at least he still has Jarvis. The good man handed him a handkerchief which he took gratefully. His nose was broken, again.

  
“Do I deed do rebind you that I ab da one wid da bleeding doze?”

  
“Do you want a broken rib to go with that nose, Howard?”

 

  
“Don’t bother, Peggy. You could break his skull, and he still won’t learn. I’m tired, and Tony will be home any minute and I rather him not see me like this.”

  
“Of course, darling. I’m staying over for a few days. Daniel and the children are at their grandparents.”

  
“Oh, Peggy, of course! Tony and I miss you terribly.”

  
Not. His. Day.  
  
  
  
Tony came back an hour later. Apparently, he was at his friend Noah’s house. He came in excited and loud, chattering to Jarvis about his day and talking his ear off. For a kid that hadn’t spoken till he was a little over two, he sure was making up for the lost time. Howard already had a headache, and Tony’s only just walked in. The problem could be attributed to getting his nose broken and readjusted twice in three hours.

  
Peggy and Maria were at the parlor talking and drinking lemonade while he was banished to his study with his door open wishing he could have a drink, but not daring in fear of a third punch to his abused face. The minute the women heard Tony, they cheered up.

  
Tony ran into the parlor and into a slide in front of them to which they cheered. Peggy congratulated him on his graduation and told him that she would like to invite him to a celebration dinner at her house with the boys and then whispered something about a special present. His mother beckoned him over and whispered something to his ear. He looked so happy and kissed his mom before heading over to the study, to him. Oh.

  
“Dad! Dad! Dad! Your back!” He was flushed and out of breath. His hair was wild, and he was in a cotton blue shirt and green shorts. “Thanks for letting me use the workshop! Mom said you insisted…” the boy proceeded to speak a mile a minute about the graduation and the party and about making a prototype Captain America shield-"

  
“Wait, you made a _shield_?”

  
“Well, it’s not finished but…” suddenly the boy got nervous and seemed to shrink into himself, all previous excitement gone. “Lori said that I should make one, and that-“

  
“Who the hell is Lori?”

  
“Dr. Lori Benson.  She’s my doctor. She’s really nice. She has this cool World War 1 airplane model in her office and-“

  
“Tony darling, why don’t you go freshen up and get changed. Daddy is tired from traveling, and so are you,” Maria interrupted. “You can show him your shield tomorrow when you _both_ ,” She pointedly looked at her husband as she said that. “Complete it together. Then you can ask him for your graduation present, the one he promised you.”

  
“Radical!!”

  
“Say goodnight to your father.”

  
“Night, dad!” He hadn’t expected the hug; he hadn’t hugged tony since… he can’t remember. And from the look on Maria’s face, she couldn’t remember either. She seems surprised by the hug herself. She smiled at Tony as he hugged her goodnight and then Peggy before sprinting up the stairs laughing with Jarvis telling him no running in the house.

  
“I’m tired of lying to your son on your behalf, Howard.”

  
“Maria, please not now,” He sagged into his chair. “My face is only now starting to feel a little better.”

  
“Peggy told me what your mission was about, what the two-month radio silence was for,” oh, no. There goes his marriage. “You _promised_ me you wouldn’t let the ghost of Steve Rogers distract you from your family. You promise me after you _hit_ me,” at that Howard flinched. “No more alcohol and no more chasing ghosts. You broke both those promises and the ones you made Tony. To think that I was stupid enough to believe you- You need to put your money where your mouth is and prove you deserve my child and me or we’re leaving. Peggy will make me disappear, and that will be the end of us. Good night Howard, choose a guest room and make yourself comfortable, it’s where you’ll be staying for a good while.”

  
Well shit. He really has outdone himself this time.

He looked down on his desk and noticed his papers; someone had gone through his stuff. Howard had been working on the hellasubmarine headquarters for S.H.I.E.L.D. He had wanted an off-land secret base fully equipped for emergencies. He had been stuck on how to make it undetectable. With the size he had in mind, it was close to impossible. Someone had not only taken it out of his safe but also wrote over his blueprint in messy handwriting.

Blueprint: ~~Hellasubmarine Headquarters~~ Hellacarrier (the ship that flies) 

Huh. That would make detecting the HQ much harder. There were more notes on the margins. Something about reflexive plating for the bottom for invisibility and types of engines to keep it afloat. There was also a drawing of a flight deck on top.

How did he not think of this, this was ingenious! Who wro-

At the bottom of the page was where he found his answer.

Howard Stark, Head Scientist. & Tony Stark Future Head Scientist. 

Oh.

 

 

Tony talked a lot. He uses his hands and face like Maria when he talks. He has his mother's big expressive eyes too. He was excitedly explaining the modifications he made to the original shield design at the moment.

"Nothing can really replace vibranium, but we don't have that so titanium alloy is the next best thing, but we didn't have any at the storage and Obbi said he couldn't order some for me unless you agreed, so I had to make do with aluminum which isn't bad for a prototype. I also decided to make the strap magnetic instead of the leather strap; magnets are so rad! Do you… do you like it?"

The shield was half finished. The base was done, and half the plates were applied messily. He can see the magnetic straps. The design was good. His engineers at SI could probably make something like this, but it would take them a year at best. Tony said he started this last month and he was halfway through. It made Howard nervous. He knew he should be excited, proud even at the ingenuity and skill of his son, but all he can feel is apprehension. He had never felt threatened in his life, not by Hank Pym or Armin Zola or Vanko, not until last night when he saw those blueprints and today in his own damn house by his own flesh and blood.

"Did you mess my blueprints? The ones on my desk?" Tony looked scared. He started shifting about and mumbled something under his breath.

"Speak up when you talk to me, kid. Well, did you?" Tony nodded.  "How did you get into my safe?"

"I saw Obbi open it and memorized the combination. I wanted to see… Mom said you wouldn't mind! She said to leave it out for you. Are you- did I do something wrong?"

The issue was that he did something right. So Howard decided to answer his first question instead.

"The shield won't hold, even with titanium alloy. The magnets are decent, though. Never open my safe ever again, no matter what your mother says, do you hear me?"

"Yes, sir." He looked deflated. They never completed the shield.

 

 

 

"Did Tony ask you about Italy?" Maria asked over her cup of wine. Peggy was sitting next to her reading. Peggy had threatened to castrate him if she ever heard he raised a hand to Maria again. She had looked at him with such disdain and disappointment.

"What about Italy?"

"Tony wanted his graduation gift to be a trip to Italy. We are going to Italy; you are free to join us."

He didn’t join them in the Sousa-Carter dinner, nor the Italy family trip.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Maria and Peggy's bonding is my jam. Not Gonna lie, writing Howard's dialogue with a broken nose was very satisfying. Please let me know what you think.


	4. Of Buttheads and Stones

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ever since his internship a year ago, Tony noticed that he really was different from the way adults looked at him.  
> Tony starts his Stark internship, goes to middle school, meets the Stones, and goes to therapy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Stones are introduced. Tony gets into the business and gets ballsier.

**1979**

 Obadiah Stane was the business equivalent of Howard Stark. He can spin any situation into gold, and the board of directors love him for it. The company might have "Stark" in the name, but _Stane_ is the essence of the company. It was his suggestion to make the company focus on weapons manufacturing instead of Howard's silly little gadgets; they always tended to explode anyway, why not make them intentionally explode, huh Howie? inObadiah's opinion, Howard is a dreamer and a fool; he's too trusting of everyone except his wife and offspring. Howard had hit the jackpot with Maria. If Stane was the reason the company was still afloat, Maria was the reason Howard still has a reputation still. His son, the boy wonder, is the only reason the board of directors is not planning to kick Stark out of his own Company and that was because Stane urged him to make his boy's genius public. Obbi loved Stark like a brother, but the man was all over the place, he prioritizes his fruitless side projects, and it shows. So, when he found Howard shitfaced in his R&D lab floor on a Friday night because of…

"I'm sorry, could you repeat that?" Obbi wasn’t sure he heard this right.

"The missile! The one I am supposed to present Monday is finished, and it's _perfect_!" he slurred, he looked absolutely devastated.

"That's great big boss; we can finally get the military to make us their exclusive weapons manufacturers. We'd be set for life!"

"I didn't do it." It was said so softly; he almost missed it.

"You just said it was done and perfect, what do you mea-"

"Tony made it." The way Howard said, it was like he was announcing his own death, which in a sense… he wasn’t wrong. Howard hasn’t made anything for the company in a long time; he'd been investing in new fresh out of university engineers and scientists, mentoring and supervising them while being the public face and spokesman of the company. Everything else Obbi handled. Howard had insisted on this missile project for the military. This contract was necessary given the cold war, and the military wants to be ahead of the game.

"Isn't Tony in school?" Obbi took a seat next to his friend. Howard was fifteen years older than him. He had taken a gamble when he hired him, and it paid off spectacularly. Now seeing like this, drunk and broken… it made Obbi realized how human Howard is, how much of a liability he could be. This could be bad for the company.

"He was here for Easter when he got his eyes on my design and made a whole new one. He made guns too, you should see'em Obbi, they hold like a dream," Howard took another swing of his whiskey. "I have been going over that design for months, and the little runt barely takes a glance at it and finds six fatal flaws in the design. It took him an hour to draw up a _better_ , more practical design and two days to get started building the prototype," he finished his bottle and continued: "I should be proud, I know I should, but I've never seen anything like him. He is fast, sharp, and efficient. He is better than the guys in R&D, and he's mine. I should be proud…" He looked miserable.

"Hire him."

"WHAT?! Obbi, he's NINE!"

"The boy inherited your skill, so let's use him. He'll end up working for SI anyways, why not start now? Teach your boy how to run a company. If his design is as good as you say it is, then get him an internship and have him look at our military projects once we seal the deal."

"Obbi, Maria would kill me-"

"Tell Maria it's only for the summers. Take it as a chance to get close to your kid. He's a great kid, Howie, and you treat him like a rival. Show him what his old man does best, let him into the company and get him connected. The boy is obviously not hitting the breaks anytime soon, so might as well roll with it."

"You think I should let him work at the company? _My company?_ On the _military_ projects?" Howard scoffed.

"Why not?" Howard's answering look only prompted Obadiah to take a different approach. "If you don't include him in your life, your business, he will resent us and grow up to make his _own_ company. Now tell me, Howie, can we compete with that?" To that, Howard let out a choked up sob that Obbi pretended he didn't hear.

He got Howard cleaned up and took him back to his penthouse. He called Maria and told her that he and big boss are gonna stay overnight working on a project presentation while Howard vomited in his bathroom. Maria was a smart woman, and she can smell bullshit a mile away, but she was a lady and told them not to work too hard and to make sure they rest well.

The presentation went great, and they got the military contract, Obbi started arranging an internship and a secluded lab area for the boy wonder, the future is Tony, and Obadiah Stane will invest in it.

 

 

Ever since his internship a year ago, Tony noticed that he really _was_ different from the way adults looked at him. On his first day, the scientists from Research & Development that were giving him the tour thought he looked _really smart_ in his little lab coat and goggles. They were talking in a simple condescending language, telling him that here was where they build " _amazing stuff_ " and make _"incredible discoveries."_ It was when Tony pointed out that three of the equations on the blackboard were wrong and got up to correct them that their attitude shifted. They stopped being falsely sweet to him. They watched him all the time and go quiet when he walked into a room.

Obbi was laughing his head off as Tony was telling him about his first day of his internship. That was how Howard found them, Obbi barely breathing, his booming laugh heard from the hallway, and Tony reenacting the R&D "buttheads" reaction to him fixing the equation. Howard stopped at the sight.

Howard had always admired Obadiah's personality. No matter how much people didn't like him, no one ever truly hated him. He had an easy way about him that made you feel welcomed and unjudged. He was the same age as Maria, and they got along very well. He had never been jealous of how close they were; they both had the same interests. They both love music and play the piano, and both have an obsession with pizza. Seeing Obbi listen and laugh with Tony, praising him for "sticking it to the buttheads" was… unsettling.

"Howard!" Obbi was dabbing his teary eyes with a handkerchief as Tony was still making faces. "Boss Boy, stop! I'll bust something open if you keep that up! Howie, your boy, annihilated those nerds down in R&D! You shoulda' seen it." Tony stopped making impressions and hid under Obbi's desk; the boy was smart enough to know what was coming.

"Obbi, don’t encourage him! Tony, what was the one thing I told you to do? The _one_ thing, Tony!"

Obbi can see Tony fidgeting under the table and felt terrible for the boy. He gave the boy a thumbs up, and Tony finally answered.

"Not to antagonize the scientists," Tony mumbled.

"And what do you do the _minute_ you get here?"

"Those buttheads had it coming!" That Tony said with all his chest, all timidness was forgotten.

"Big talk from someone hiding under the table like a-"

"Now, now, Howard! Tony is right; those nerds are buttheads."

"Those _nerds_ are our top engineers, physicists, and scientists!"

Obidaiah carried on to tone down Howard's rising temper somewhat and added: "Tony only pointed out that they were wrong and they got all angry about it. Besides, Tony won't have to deal with them a lot because he is getting his own lab soon."

"WHAT!"

"REALLY? AWESOME!" Tony finally came out from under the table and hugged Obbi while Howard stared daggers at them.

"Go ahead, boss boy, you have a tour to finish. I'll see you at lunch," when Tony finally left, Obbi turned to Howard. "His lab is across from yours, which you would've known if you had been to your lab in the last few months."

"Obbi, listen-"

"No, Howie, _you_ listen," Obadiah fixed Howard with a stern gaze and said, "If you are blind to what you have, I'm not. That boy is the best thing that happened to this company since you hired me."

"How humble of you." 

"It is what it is. Those buttheads didn't secure us that military contract, your boy did. I'm giving him all the room he needs to flourish. I agree with you that we need to keep this on the down low, so leave that to me. The lab is so those nerds don’t see what he's capable of just yet. I'll talk to Tony, ask him to play dumb around the adults, cuz no one likes a smartass, but you need to lay off Howard, you're scaring the boy,"

"Do what you need to do Obbi, I trust you."

"Oh, I know you do."

 

Ever since that say, Tony learned how to appear dumber than he was, but subtly reminding everyone how smart he actually was. It was tricky, but he managed just fine, his mom does it all the time. He stopped using big words and fancy terminology and perfected the art of talking circles around people. He was even invited to the R&D labs now and was able to visit the workshops and factories. He was still a showoff, but only Infront of his friends and family. He started doing it in school too. It made things easier, more bearable.

 

**1980**

 

At first, Tony hated middle school. All the kids were weird. His therapist, Glenda, said it was puberty and hormones that made them so emotional, that he would be like that too once he's thirteen. Ew. His roommate, Spencer, was obsessed with girls but couldn't talk to one if his life depended on it. Tony had no problems with girls; most of his friends were girls. They were easier to talk to, and they liked his eyelashes. The reason he wasn't immediately picked on and bullied was that in his first year of school, he gained the favor of Gabbi Stone, the prettiest smartest most popular girl in school, who also happened to be a senior. Gabbi had long beautiful honey brown hair and forget-me-not blue eyes. She was kind and charming, everybody loved her, and she loved Tony. Tony was untouchable. Tony really liked Gabbi.

She introduced Tony to her younger brother Tiberius "Ty" Stone who happens to be in the same year as him. Ty was as pretty as his sister and wickedly smart too, they hit it off immediately. Both siblings didn't care that Tony was a kid and treated him like they would treat anybody else. They defended him when bigger kids picked fights with him and always had lunch with him and introduced him to people… he liked the Stones. His heart broke when Gabbi left for high school, but at least he still had Ty.

The middle school Headmaster made it clear that Tony has to pass all his courses the same as all the other kids, no exceptions. Academics were not an issue for Tony that he had covered. It was sports and Physical Education that had his mother worried. It turned out handling heavy machinery in a workshop since he was six and was professionally trained in ballet, ballroom, and salsa, since he was five, meant he had nothing to worry about. His newfound talent of appearing less smarter than he was, his sharp wit and natural curiosity, his surprisingly decent athletics, and his friendship with the Stone siblings have made him one of the most popular kids at school.

He and Ty were best friends even though not many think so. Teachers confuse their rivalry for animosity. Tony and Ty always tried to see who would score better grades, which wasn't fair because Tony was a boy genius, and who would score more points in sports, which wasn't fair because Ty was three years older, but they had fun anyway. It was a game; a game Tony was winning surprisingly.

" _How_ are you doing this? I thought you said you never played Tennis before!" Ty was red-faced and furious. He had been playing tennis with his father, brother, and Gabbi all summer, he had been bragging about it to anyone who would listen. Auster prided itself for their Tennis Tournament record of wins. Tennis was serious business in this school and making it in the tournament counts into your PE grade, PE grades Tony, whose surprisingly athletic physique is still that of a ten-year-old competing with thirteen-year-olds, desperately needed, so he asked Ty to coach him, which was useless because Tony was a natural.

"I can see the ball coming," Tony said casually; he wasn't even sweating that much. All those years of ballet and ballroom dancing lessons do pay off. And to think Ty made fun of him for it!

"You can see the ball coming, right. What about _hitting_ the ball hotshot? How do you keep hitting it out of my reach?"

"If I take the weight of the ball and rack into account as well as your Hight, speed, and stamina, I can calculate how hard I can hit the ball and in what direction so you would miss it, don't you just love physics?"

The infuriating thing was, Tony wasn't even showing off, he was genuinely answering Ty's question. Ty threw the rack down and stomped off. All summer he was practicing, all that hard work wasted because _wonder_ _boy_ was just too wonderous. Great.

"Ty, wait! Come back! HEY!"

 

Ty liked Tony, regardless of what others may think. Tony was cute and pretty clueless for a genius. It's always fun to mess and tease him, Tony doesn't take it seriously but would give as good as he gets once he gets a clue. He was also pretty sensitive, he likes teasing people, but he never wants to hurt anyone's feelings. Tony always manages to offend people with his genius accidentally, he gets carried away with his thoughts, and his eyes get... _glittery_ or something. Tony didn't mean to throw all his hard work in the crapper, he was just naturally good at everything, which was infuriating, but very Tony Stark of him. Not talking to him for a whole week was pretty harsh, considering everything Ty knows about Tony. He was on his way to the Tennis court to tell Tony they were cool when he saw them.

Tony was in the court with six senior girls. They were "helping" him practice. Tony had flowers in his hair and was laughing, and the girls were showing him methods to " _distract"_ his opponents that would certainly get him in disqualified. Ty really liked Tony; he just happens to really hate him too, he knew for a fact that these two emotions could coexist because his parents exist. 

"I'm so jealous Tony if I stayed in the sun as long as you do, I'd turn into a tomato!"

"I bet you'd be a beautiful tomato, Kelly."

"Seriously! You look all golden and tanned." 

"I'm half Italian, so..." casually shrugged off the praise and attention of a girl five years his junior, Ty wanted to scream! He'd _kill_ for that sort of attention, but here Tony was shrugging it off. He and Tony were two sides of the same coin; he lives for praise while Tony thrives on attention. It's why they get each other. Ty decided to join in on the fun and maybe steal some of it, and goodness knows Tony isn't gonna benefit from all the attention, he's way too young for a girlfriend anyway.

"Hey wonder boy, need any help practicing?"

"TY!"

 

 

 

Tony got the lead spot in the Tennis tournament, and because it was Tony Stark playing, _everybody'_ s parents showed up. It seemed like everyone wanted to see the boy genius for themselves, to pass judgment. Well, everybody but Stark senior. There was press too. Maria Stark was here with the family butler wearing Auster Academy colors with a stylish hat over her curled hair. The media was going wild over Mrs. Stark. Ty's dad, little brother Charles, and Gabbi were here too. His mom wasn't here; she never was. It wasn't fair.

Tony, the smallest player, won. No one can say the other players went easy on him either; he crushed them. Tony, with his surprisingly strong arms, sharp mind, and big gleaming eyes, made the news. Gabbi kissed him when he won, and the picture made it to the paper. Ty's dad squeezed his shoulder a little too hard and whispered that he better makes it next year before going up to Tony and Mrs. Stark to congratulate them and invite them for a celebratory dinner.

 

 

 

Dinner was lovely. Howard heard about it two weeks later from Charles Stone himself at The Stark Scientific Conference. The man talked on and on about what a lovely time he had with Maria and what a great sport Tony was and how it was such a shame that Howard wasn't there. Obadiah Stone looked uncomfortable while the rest of the attendees looked on in anticipation. People attend these events for the drama mostly, and they were getting quite the show. Howard didn't seem fazed. He just looked at Charles Stone, founder, and CEO of Stone.INC and calmly replied, "Complementing my wife and kid won't magically make your wife and kids any smarter. It also won't get you any _funding_ for that matter. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a multi-million corporation to see to." And walked away with Stane's ginormous figure right behind him.

And that was how the Stark v. Stone senior rivalry started, and it was nowhere near as fun-natured as their children's.

 

 

Glenda Shephard had hit the jackpot when she got a call from a concerned mother asking questions for her son four years ago. The woman hadn't given her name and insisted on a phone call consultation instead of a personal one. The mother said that her child was talented and smart and the center of everyone's attention, all mothers thought so of their children in Glenda's experience, but it wasn't her job to treat the woman; it was to council. The mystery child is under a lot of pressure academically, is neglected by his father, doesn't have many friends his age, and has recently been through a traumatic experience that has led to terrible nightmares. Glenda suggested regular treatment for the child, to create a safe environment for them to express themselves and to help them through their issues as they come up. A week later, Mrs. Stark walks into her office with three lawyers with contracts that, if signed, would mean that Glenda cannot speak or communicate that she is treating Tony Stark or that he is undergoing treatment. And that he is not to be included in any study or book that she may publish even under an alias or initials. Little did she know that treating Tony would be the most significant four years of her career.

They agreed that Tony would visit his parents every weekend during the school year; that way, no one would know about his therapy sessions. Dr. Glenda would wait for him On Saturday mornings in her office with a tray of powdered Turkish delights for Tony.

Tony was a ball of energy ready to explode and create a universe of his own. He was always fidgeting and moving, not because he was nervous; but because his body is responding to ideas he was about to act on before another better idea takes its place. He can turn the most mundane thing, into a priceless novelty. It was a good thing that he is interested in engineering and building things; Glenda encouraged him to translate his thoughts and ideas into creations.

"Like God?" Tony asked on one of their sessions. They hadn't talked about his nightmares yet, that could wait till later. Now she was focusing on making sure she was here to help him. "The Bible says that God created everything, including the devil and demons."

"Not like God necessarily. Mothers create children, and spiders create intricate webs, beavers build and create dams, Tony creates…"

"Starks create heroes…" Tony mumbled under his breath.

"There is no need for whispered snarky remarks. You can say them out loud; I am here to listen to you," She noticed that Tony mumbles when he lets slip of an insecurity. The boy is funny and charismatic and always had something to say, and he  _will_  make sure everyone heard him. He gets quiet when he's vulnerable. "let's try again, Tony creates…"

"Robots!"

"Right! You can try to make a robot, or maybe something more useful to you. Something that will help you sleep better?"

"I tried to make a shield once… for protection. Like Captain America's!"

"A shield is an excellent idea; you admire Captain America; he makes all Americans safe. Why didn't you finish it?"

"… Howa- My dad  _built_  the original shield, and he thought mine sucked when he saw it, so why bother!"

"Fathers can be hard to deal with, but you shouldn't let his words  _or_ actions ruin the things you love. Captain America makes you feel safe, so you should have his shield or your own version of it with you," Tony didn't look very convinced. "Remember when I told you I went to DC for a conference? I went to the Smithsonian too and visited Captain America' exhibit. A fascinating man Steve Rogers, but did you know what I found most interesting?" Tony had her full attention. "Steve was already  _made_  when he joined the war effort; your father simply gave him the  _tools_  to help him  _be_  the hero he was meant to be. You can create whatever you want, whether it be a replica shield or something that would help you be the Tony you are meant to be."

"I did have an idea before… of an armor, like a medieval armor but way better! It can be used for both defense  _and_  offense. Why keep  _one_  part of you safe when you can keep  _all_  of you safe? Cap's shield was cool, but it had a fatal design flaw. An armor guarantees that you,  _and_ your legs, are safe, and this design is all me, no plagiarizing included!"

"what would the armor protect you from?"

"Everything." It was said a tad too fast and with so much conviction, that Glenda was honestly struck by how heavy a burden those little shoulders carried.

Glenda learned more things about the so-called boy wonder in the four years he was her patient. For instance, the term "wonder" was an understatement. The things that the child was capable of building and designing were miraculous. The boy had many friends, but not a single  _actual_ friend, not until Ty Stone that is. He was a people pleaser, but he hides it very well. He yearns for attention yet shies away from genuine emotions. He was distrustful of people who are immediately nice to him, always prepared for the other shoe to drop. Tony was very empathetic when he pays attention to people and can read body language as if it were code, something that he says is very easy. He was extremely emotional and took physical and mental strain as outlets for his feelings instead of taking the time to address them adequately. Getting him to talk about what was truly bothering him or his weaknesses was like pulling teeth. He tends to use humor to deflect, but that seemed to be the result of vigorous training he had as a six-year-old to never speak about personal issues by professionals to keep him from accidentally spilling the Stark family secrets to someone who might profit from it. When he senses dislike, disapproval, or indifference from someone, he resorts to aggravating them to get a reaction. He seems to be doing that quite a lot with his father as of late, especially since he started "helping" his father with designs.

"Tony, who takes the credit for what you design in the internship if you don't mind me asking."

"No one," at her quizzical look that means she's not following. "Dad tests them, demonstrates them, then puts them in storage," She was still staring at him, so he added grudgingly "None of it works, okay! Not in the field anyways. It's always  _the math is right, you get points for ingenuity and style, but you are nowhere near ready to make functional weaponry for the U.S army Tony_ , so storage it is." His tone was bitter.

"But that could be a good thing," the look Tony gave her spoke of decades-old chagrin that looked hilarious on the face of an eleven-year-old. "In life, nothing always works out the way we want them to work, not even when we have the best intentions. You can work hard and do everything the right way, but it could be for nothing. You have always exceeded at everything from the first try, but that was within the safety of your own home, or lab, or school. There is an entire  _world_  out there with many talented people who can be better than you or maybe even smarter." Tony's eyes shone brightly at that… huh. It was almost as if the thought made him… excited. Now  _that_  was unexpected.

 

 

 

 

**1982**

Puberty did to Ty what shampoo does to people in commercials. He was tall with thick honey brown hair and gorgeous blue eyes, the girls of Auster Academy swooned left and right at his feet. Tony was twelve, short, lean, with eyes too big for his face and hair so thick it practically had a mind of its own. They were both ninth graders, but Tony was the same age as the seventh graders. Glenda says he shouldn’t compare himself to Ty, that it wasn't healthy to for him to set his sights on the impossible. It would have been great advice, except that he was already being compared to every adult in SI's R&D and a school full of kids three years older than him. Making the impossible possible is just another Tuesday for Tony.

A new girl caught his eye, a sweet blond girl he met in the library the first week of school. Her name was Hana Smith, and she was all Tony could think about for days. He decided to offer to tutor her as a means of getting to know her when he heard that she wasn't doing that well in school. Ty thought he was adorable and that he should just ask her out instead of stalling, but Tony didn't listen. Ty's method of getting a girlfriend was to get in a girl's space and demand to be their boyfriend. It was effective, sure, but it made Tony feel uncomfortable for some reason. It reminded him of something weird that happened long ago at party… he doesn't recall all the details, but he remembers it because that was the first time he ever saw his mom furious and it was his parents' first fight. He talked to Glenda about it, and all she said was "Every person has their own methods of getting close to people, Tony. It is important to think of the feelings of others in return and make sure  _you_  are letting them get close to you too."

Hana was great! She was smart and pretty, and Tony loved everything about her until he saw her and Ty kissing by the lockers two weeks after he started tutoring her. For the first time in his life, Tony's mind was blank. No racing thoughts, no conclusions or theories or probabilities. Nothing but static. He stood there and watched his best friend kiss the girl he loved and he… he couldn't think. They haven't even noticed him, but why should they? He wasn't Hana's boyfriend; he was the very small senior that tutors her. Ty was the most handsome senior, and he asked her out apparently.

He went back to his room and found his roommate Spencer getting handsy with himself with playboy magazines spread all around him. Tony's face grew hot with both embarrassment and anger, and he decided to spend the rest of his day in the physics lab.

He avoided Ty and Hana for the rest of the week. He wanted to talk to Glenda, make sure he wasn't overreacting, he'll deal with them then. That Friday happened to be the Stark Charity Gala, and he was meant to go with them, which means no Dr. Glenda the next day.

"I don’t' want to go to the stupid party; I want to talk to Glenda!"

"Sweetheart, this event is important, and so is your presence there. I'll schedule Glenda for Sunday before you head out back to school, but please behave."

"These parties are full of drunk adults, their  _boring_ mom."

"Not necessarily," To that Tony raised an eyebrow. "Helena Burningham is bringing her daughter Jane, and the O'Riley's are bringing their twins Marcus and Michael, and more! This is a family charity event, hence the reason you are coming. You can socialize it will be fun."

It was fun, but he was pretty confident his mom would faint once she knew what was so fun about it. At first, the gala was boring; Howard thanked the guests for coming, said the proceeds would go to families in need, he thanked his lovely wife for organizing and his family for the support, a family is essential, yadda yadda yadda, and then the grownups started drinking.

He, the O'Riley twins, a girl named Linda, and Jane were introduced. It was awkward and forced, which changed the minute Linda said she stole a bottle of wine and hid it behind a potted plant when the waiters weren’t looking. Things got very excited when they had to pretend to get along and want to go by the pool to talk while hiding the bottle under Jane's poofy dress skirt. Tony opened the bottle, and they passed it between them.

They got drunk pretty fast. Tony liked being drunk; it made everything… slower. It didn't stop his thoughts like seeing Ty kiss Hana did; it just made his thoughts slow down enough for him to really process them. His thoughts weren't racing each other anymore, he knows exactly where he was and what he was doing, but most of all, he knows exactly what he wants to do. Linda was a year older than him and looked like a dream; Tony wanted to kiss her. He said as much and the next thing he knew, he was making out with Linda. The twins protested, but Tony didn't care, this felt amazing. Tony liked kissing; Linda liked it too apparently because kissing soon turned into touching and  _that_  whited out Tony's thoughts in the best way.

They were interrupted when they heard their parents looking for them, and the group teenagers dropped the empty bottle in the pool and tried not to look drunk when it was time to go home.

 

 

"Tony tired himself out. I'm glad he had fun tonight, he seemed very upset when he came back from school earlier." Maria was watching her sleeping son from the rear-view mirror on their way home from the gala.

Howard had nothing to say to that. Truth be told, he was relieved that Tony was out of the room with those kids the whole time, the Military brass was there, and they wouldn't stop talking about the latest Stark guns. Tony would have made a scene if he'd heard, and Maria… So, Howard said nothing other than a sound that vaguely sounded like agreement.

 

 

Jarvis figured out Tony was hungover the next morning immediately. He had been furious but kept his voice down as he gave him the dressing down of the century. He brought him water, breakfast, and painkiller while being decidedly disappointed in him. Tony was grateful that Jarvis told him that he would keep this between them, but only on two conditions: never drink again till he's old enough and to talk about it with Glinda tomorrow. Tony agreed, of course, he never made Jarvis angry before, and he feels terrible for doing so now.

 When he finally felt like he can face the day and his parents, He sought out his mother. He loved spending his afternoons with her drinking tea and playing the piano. She told him that she is arranging for him to take singing lessons for the upcoming summer. He liked seeing his mother like this; she was glowing from last night's success; they apparently raised way more than they thought was possible. She talked about how it was a shame, Peggy, and her boys couldn't come. "It is dreary listening to the military sergeants go on and on about a Stark semi-automatic light grip Glock or whatever, Peggy usually helps the situation by making sure that no one bloats Howard's head more than necessary, but-"

"Did you say a semi-automatic light grip? Made by SI?"

"Oh, dear, not you too! I have seen enough grown men salivate at the mention of the darn thin- Tony, sweetheart, you look pale. Are you alright?"

"Where's How- Where's dad?"

"In his office, on the phone. Wait, darling, what's the matter?"

Tony was still a bit disoriented from his hangover, but he wasn't stupid. He made that gun. Howard told him it was garbage, that it would get soldiers  _killed_  in the field. He barely looked at the designs before he'd tossed them aside and told Tony that without the proper training, he'd never make anything fit to be produced by Stark Industries. That lying son of a bitch!

The office door was open, and Howard's back to it. He was talking to aunt Peg, but Tony couldn't wait for them to finish, so he shut the door and unplugged the phone cord. Howard was confused for a few seconds before he saw him and figured out why the phone was dead.

"What do you think you're doing?"

"Funny, I was about to ask the same thing,  _Howard_!" Tony was terrified, but he happens to be angry too. Besides, didn't Glinda always say that he should voice out bad emotions so they wouldn’t fester? She'd be proud.

"Watch your tone you little-"

"You made my gun." That shut up, Howard pretty quickly. "You said it wasn't  _near_  ready to be produced! You _stole_  my work!" he can feel his throat burn with a suppressed sob, and his eyes sting with unshed tears.

"Legally, those guns are mine; I didn’t steal shit. Anything the R&D scientist make is mine, is Stark Industries'." Howard's tone was cruel and bitter, but Tony could tell that he's scared. He was keeping his voice level; probably trying not to get Maria's attention.

"You lied to me. You said it would've killed sold-"

"and you were naive enough to believe it," Tony couldn't believe this, what the hell?! "You leave around designs for anyone to pick up and claim it's theirs! You are irresponsible and need to learn that in the real world, people will come after you and your stuff if you're not man enough to keep them safe."

"Is this the first time?" Tony was barely holding back his tears; he kept rubbing his face to clear it while trying to make it look like frustration.

"No. and it won't be the last time if you keep being reckless." At least Howard is finally honest.

"How can you steal from your own son… Dad, you were friends with Captain America, how the hell-"

" _Steve_ would've never been cocky enough to waltz around _MY_  company as if he owns it. He would've been a better son that  _helped_  his father instead of completely taking over everything that mattered to him!"

Tony was stunned. Nothing made sense. "dad, I want to help. That's all I ever wanted."

"Good, because from now on, you will be looking over and making designs for the company in my name till you are certified. You'll do it here when you come home on the weekends and continue during the summer. Mention this to anyone, and I will make sure you don't get a cent or a stock from the company, understood?"

Tony nodded numbly. Howard reconnected the phone and started dialing a number. "welcome to the real world, kid. Shut the door on your way out.

He kept to himself after that, and when he got ready to see Glinda the next morning, his mom told him that Glinda called to say that her services are no longer required, that Tony has made excellent process and that she had already discussed this with Mr. Stark.

His mom looked happy at the news, relieved even. His dad has stolen and is planning to steal, his work. Jarvis was disappointed with him. Ty, who could have had any girl in the entire school if he wanted, had set his eyes on the one girl Tony liked. Now Glenda was gone, bought off by Howard. Something changed in Tony that morning, he hardened. He couldn't trust any of them, can he? Stark men were made of iron; the cold makes them stronger, so cold he will be. If Howard thought he was taking over, he hasn’t seen anything yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think.


	5. What's Up with Howard?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peggy's perspective: Howard hasn't been himself lately.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> things are getting messy.

Director Peggy Sousa-Carter is up to her eyeballs in work. There's no rest for the wicked and those who want to put a stop to them it seemed. She ran an intelligence agency that collects information and possible threats to the nation or the world and putting a stop to it before it disrupts the lives of the innocent tax-paying citizens. S.H.I.E.L.D had to divisions; Howard Stark runs the science division. With him are head scientist Dr. Arnim Zola, a former Hydra scientist who was forced to work for Schmitt, and consultant Dr. Hank Pym specialize in making sure that they have the upper hand in every fight and to build, analyze, predict, and neutralize any weapon or technology that could be used against them. The second division is the operations division specializing in strategy, information gathering, espionage, neutralization, and interrogation which is run by special agent Daniel Sousa, her husband, Special agent Janet Van Dyne, and Colonel Chester Philips. She, as the director is responsible for conveying and acting on the World Security Council's instructions, making S.H.I.E.L.D the most powerful and most legitimate extra-military counter-terrorism and intelligence agency.

Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement and Logistics Division is her pride and joy, a dedication to the bravest man she had ever met and a love that never was. After Steve crashed, saving a grateful nation and world, she had thought that they were safe. But working in a corrupt SSR, encountering brilliant minds get tainted with greed and ambition, finding an organization that took little girls and turned them into mindless, murderous slaves, and a world that refuses to leave well enough alone; she decided that she has to do something about it; it was what Steve would have done. So, she reached out to world leaders and everyone she can trust and shared her proposal. With Howard taking over funding and the rest of the world is promised to be on the know, S.H.I.E.L.D was formed.

Her top field Agents, only utilized for high risk and priority missions, and miracles of the human mind were Ant-Man, The Wasp, and Goliath. Colonel Philips was head strategist, Daniel head of operations, Stark funding and head of security, Van Dyne as head agent, Pym head of research and consultant, and Zola head of science and technology. She had built this agency on two principals: protect the innocent, to give a second chance to those who have been wronged by the world. She could never forget that awful day in Russia, where she found out about the Red Room. The world needed a shield, protection, from itself and whatever else out there.

The year 1981 when The Wasp, special agent Janet Van Dyne shrunk herself to the Quantum realm and died. Two years later, Stark pulled a stunt that costs them Dr. Pym's friendship, loyalty, and technology. Howard has a unique talent of burning bridges; it seems. Losing both Hank and Pym was a terrible blow, especially that Goliath cannot use his suit too often or else the suit would kill him. The rift caused an animosity that extended to the science and operations divisions; they couldn't stand each other and were taking sides. It was a mess.

1983, they found a gigantic blue and very dead extraterrestrial in Brazil. Studying it shows that it highly resembled humans, but blue, had super strength, regenerative cells, high intelligence, and is nitrogen-based. It was an eight-foot-tall blue male alien. There were high levels of Gamma radiation in the area he was found and a ship with never seen before technology that Stark & Co. couldn't crack, much to their frustration. Peggy had raced home to Hug her very startled teenage sons and cried for a good deal.

1985, a boy named Peter Quill disappeared outside his hometown hospital in Missouri right after his mother's death. The story made headlines and search parties looked for him for months, but S.H.I.E.L.D knew that there was no finding him. When SHIELD arrived at the scene, their sensors picked up a Gamma radiation similar to the one found in the sight of the blue alien. Extra-terrestrials were involved, and they weren't equipped to retrieve the child if he were alive. She was growing dreary from dealing with the world, but who can she trust to take over?

Agent Alexander Pierce was a godsend. Peggy had been avoiding him ever since Janet recruited him at 1964. He was a tall blonde charming levelheaded military man who treated everybody kindly and demanded respect with his actions and bravery, he was the spitting image of Steve, and it hurt to just look at him. Peirce even dressed the same way, hair split at the side and always cleanly shaven — blue eyes kind and always crinkled from smiling. There was no escaping him after he replaced Philips after his retirement as head strategist; he was perfect for the job. His new position made him closer to Zola and Stark, which helped dissipate the tension between the two divisions. Everybody loved Pierce, but Peggy couldn't stomach him. Daniel thinks it is mainly because of his similarity to Steve; that it was like seeing Steve, but it was wrong somehow. She supposed that could be true.

Pierce taking over Operations and Stark devoting himself to SHIELD was a relief, saved the agency from falling apart after losing two of their best agents. Howard had changed recently; ever since the brilliant Hellicarrier was proposed and built, he had been obsessed with surpassing it, to make something better; which was why he designed the Triskelion Headquarters. He made them exclusive guns, ESP devices, and anything an agent could possibly need on the field.

She had never seen him this productive since the Manhattan Project. The Vietnam war had stolen Howard's excitement for life, turned him into a shell of his former happy self. Marrying Maria has sparked some of his old self back, but having Tony snuffed it out like a candle. Howard's relationship with his son is an enigma. He praises his son's genius at parties and in both SHIELD and his company, even giving him an internship, but barely looks at the boy when he is present. Maria says that he is very strict with Tony. Howard is seen by the entire science division as a mentor and somewhat of a father figure to the young agents; always patient and encouraging. She hears that does the same at SI. Why not devote that attention to your own child instead?

She visited Stark industry one June morning to speak to Howard. She walked past everyone and every security with a brisk walk not looking or minding anyone that tried to stop her and went to the elevator and pressed the code that allowed you access to Howard's lab & workshop. Raised voices spilled into the elevator the minute it opened. Concerned, she hurried to the workshop and saw Howard talking to someone, scolding them. Whoever he was talking to must have been on the floor. Then she finally heard it, suppressed sobs and grunts of pain, that can't be good.

"Howard? Who are you-" oh, dear lord, it was Tony? He was on the floor with tears of pain pouring down his face and a look of pure hatred on his young, red on one side, face. He had his hand clutched to his chest, and it was… "Goodness me, are you are _bleeding?!"_ she immediately turned to find the medical kit, Howard organized all his labs the same way, so she found what she needed quickly.

Howard just stood there, watching his thirteen-year-old son bleed and cry in pain. He had been _yelling_ at him before she walked in on them. This isn't the same Howard she knew; it couldn't be.

Tony let her check his hand, glare never leaving his father. Peggy was trying to keep calm, no aggravating the situation until she made sure Tony was looked after first. She cleaned his hand and noted that it was a nasty third-degree burn and a cut. After treating the charred skin and wound, Peggy made sure to wrap it gently. "What happened, Tony?"

"The boy was clumsy-"

"I was asking Tony, _Howard_ , so keep quiet!" Howard gave a huff and turned away, looking at a computer screen instead of the two on the floor. "Tony?" she prodded; voice gentle.

Tony was breathing heavily. He had been quiet the entire time she treated him, only his hitched breaths and quiet exhales, indicating that he was in pain or uncomfortable. He barely flinched when she had applied the disinfectant. He was no longer crying either; the tears clumping his lashes and red-rimmed eyes the only indication that he had been crying.

He looked away and to the side at something under the table, something small and metal, mostly round and with a jagged end. "We were working on a- a forcefield diffuser. We were molding the shell and-" he looked at his father, and the look of pain on his face made being calm impossibly difficult. "I wasn't paying attention. I grabbed it absentmindedly and… ruined it." His tone was sure and steady, the lie flowing smoothly from him with his stutters and pauses disguised as winces of pain and discomfort.

She must admit, he almost had her convinced, but she runs a spy agency. "I see. That does explain your hand and Howard's temper," she can see Howard relaxing in her peripheral, so much so that he actually went back to his computer screen and continued working. Good. She gently cupped Tony's left cheek, the red one, and nodded her head at Howard's direction, a silent question: Did he do this? Tony nodded gently. "I'll call Jarvis to schedule your doctor to take a look at it this evening. Get changed and wait for me in the lobby while I talk business with your father, love."

Howard Turned around at that. "Where do you think you're going, we have to start all over again!"

"I-" but Peggy didn't let Tony finish.

"If we don't leave shortly, we'll be late!" Tony was sharp enough to catch on; the boy was his mother's son, after all. One of Peggy's biggest regrets was not recruiting Maria; the women could play along and improvise like no one she had ever seen before. She turns every situation to her favor, and she seems to have passed that along to her son.

"I have a spare shirt; It might not fit the occasion but-"

"Clean shirt will do just fine, Tony. Now chop, chop." Tony left the room and left  Peggy to deal with Howard.

"Didn't you know? My boys and I have invited Maria and Tony for dinner. Daniel is dealing with Argentina situation with Pierce, so he won't be joining us. I'm here about that; actually, word came in about advanced technology and a possible Winter Soldier sighting; you're needed back at the Triskelion." Howard looked confused, but she didn't give him time to ask questions.

Peggy left to find Tony. She found her talking to the receptionist while eating her complimentary mint treats. He was wearing a white Stark Industries T-Shirt with his trousers. His heavily bandaged left hand was making her feel sick. They walked together to the car, and she stopped at the first payphone she spotted and called her boys to prepare the house for dinner, after that, she called Maria and told her to have Jarvis drive her to her house for a tête-à-tête. She was trying to sound calm and casual, even though she wanted to scream. Tony just sat in her car quietly, looking at the palm of his bandaged left hand.

Something was up with Howard.

She got into the car and headed to a park near her house. She always that the direct way was the best way, so she asked again: "Tony, what happened?"

"I screwed up a prototype." His answer came quickly as if he had been anticipating her question.

"He hit you for ruining a bulk of metal. Is this the first time this happened? Please answer me honestly; I want to help."

Tony's lack of an answer was answer enough. What really bothered Peggy was the way he was looking at his hand. It was strange that his left hand was the one injured; Tony was righthanded, she was sure.

"Did you really mess up the prototype?"

"hmm?"

"I find it hard to believe that you have been handling a sensitive, still in molding phase, shell casing without your dominant hand, there's something you're not sharing," Peggy finally reached the park and pulled up there. "I'll make you a deal, Anthony, for every secret you tell me, I'll exchange another. How does that sound?"

Tony was a child, true, but an exceptional one. He doesn't take to being treated concededly nor to being overlooked. She remembered him as a four-year-old running after her boys when she visited Maria, determined to keep up and to be treated equally to an eight-year-old, a ten-year-old, and a fourteen-year-old! If she were to help him, she had to extend an olive branch of her own. She was a spy agency director; dealing with secrets was her livelihood.

"Howard's been drinking at work; it's getting out of hand. He can't hold his equipment without his hands shaking, so I do it. He was sober today, though, and insisted on doing it himself. I was taking notes on an armored roadie design that's do pretty soon when he told me to take it, quickly," he stopped then and took a steadying breath. "I wasn't lying when I said I was absentminded. I really didn't hear what he said for me to take, and I was too busy with my notes that I just… gave him my hand so he can hand over whatever it was for me to look at. Next thing I knew, I was in pain."

"He handed a fresh out of soldering, boiling hot metal casing? To your _bare_ hand?"

"Yeah." Tony was unconsciously rubbing at his left hand's wrist. His eyes were distant, and he looked clammy. He looked small and lost…

"I am a woman of my word. I don't work for the U.S government; the government works for me." Now that piqued Tony's interest.

"Wha- wait, what does that mean exact-"

"It means that I can whoop Howard's arse in broad daylight if I wanted to and no one can do anything about it. It means the President has to have my blessings before taking office. It _means_ that your secrets are safe with me. Tell me everything you are comfortable sharing, love."

Tony's eyes welled up in tears, and he told her what he could. He told her about his canceled therapy, how he had been doing school work during weekdays and inventing weaponry for the military on weekends, he told her about how his father's drinking made him heavy handed and impatient, how scared he was of Howard going home drunk and taking out on his mother. His mother didn't know about him working under Howard's name for the company; she thought he his father was training him to take over the business and spending time with him. He didn't want her knowing either. He talked about how this " _internship_ " is taking time away from his friends, how he has been working all year long, and how tired he was. He talked about how he feels like Howard was keeping him close so he wouldn't tell anyone.

"I shot Steve Rogers once," Peggy told him the story of the time she caught the good captain in the embrace of an SSR female agent and decided to give him a very realistic shield practice. She was hoping bringing up Cap would cheer him up. He looked amused by the story, but it was his comment that threw her off.

"I wish you had aimed for his head."

"whose head, dear?" he didn't answer, he told her another _secret_ instead.

"I don't want to work for SI after I graduate, I want to be an astronaut."

"I once committed treason for your father… it seems like a lifetime ago."

"I made all of last year's SI products."

"your father's production company faked the moon landing."

Their talk lasted an hour and Tony better for it. He was smiling by the time they reached the house. They arrived a few minutes before Maria and Jarvis. The boys had already set the table and ordered Chinese food. Michael was her eldest; he was twenty-three and studied law at Colombia University. Harrison was four years younger and studying dentistry. Her youngest, Fredrick, was still in Highschool and was already looking into police academies in New York. She was incredibly proud of all of them. She couldn't imagine what she would do if someone treated them the way, Howard Tony.

Maria and Jarvis fussed over Tony's injury. They were told that it was a workshop accident; they didn't bring up Howard. Peggy suggested a break from the internship to Maria until Tony heals that is. A trip to Austria, perhaps.

"Do you remember the Reeves, Maria? Liam and Hanna Reeves?"

"Oh, Yes! Sweet Hannah, I haven't seen her in ages."

"She's in Vienna for the summer; she's been mentioning the good work you did and much she wants to get in touch. I bet Tony would love the observatory there."

She hopes Maria takes Tony away for a while. She'll call the Reeves; Hannah is a shield agent married to a wealthy New York banker. She'll ask Hannah to invite Maria and her son and keep an eye on him.

They ate, laughed, and caught up. It was nice having dinner with Maria, Jarvis, Tony, and her boys. Jarvis helped her with the dishes, and that was when she decided to bring it up.

"Tony's hand wasn't an accident; it was Howard."

"I beg your pardon!?"

"You didn't know? Howard purposely burned Tony, then slapped him when Tony threatened to tell Maria. Lord knows what would have happened if I hadn't stopped by."

"Maria-"

"can't know," At Jarvis' puzzled look, she continued to explain. "I promised Tony not to tell her. You shouldn't know either, but I'm trusting you to keep him safe and looked after while I think of what to do. I'm hoping Maria takes Tony on that trip; it would buy me enough time to deal with Howard."

"I still can't believe Howard would-" Jarvis' was interrupted with the door-bell ringing. Peggy excused herself to see who it was. Harry was the one to open the door to nonother than Howard himself.

 Tony was right, Howard was trying to keep an eye on him.

"Darling, what are you doing here? Peggy said you had work."

"I finished up early, and I thought I would make it for dessert. I brought ice-cream," He lifted a plastic bag and walked in. "How's the hand, kid?"

"Fine. Aunt Peg gave me something for the pain." Tony looked pale, and she can hear Jarvis whisper a quiet 'oh, no' from behind her.

Howard gave out ice-cream to everyone and turned to his wife and asked: "You never told me you were having dinner with Peggy."

Maria was a smart woman; she never gives away anything she wasn't supposed to, and her answer only proved that further.

"Well, we haven't had much time to see each other of late. And since all our boys are out of school, we thought we should get together. It was a spur of the moment deal."

"I see."

"I was just telling Maria about the Reeves." Peggy intervened, she led the conversation throughout dessert and until the Starks left.

 

Maria ended up taking Tony to Austria and meeting with the Reeves a week after the "accident," and that was when Peggy Sousa-Carter walked into SHIELD headquarters and Stark's office. She closed the blinds and shut the door. Howard was on his computer and looked up in concern at her behavior and was about to ask her what was wrong. She never gave him the chance.

"The fact you are my oldest friend and have been the only one to believe in me and support me after Steve's death and founded SHIELD with me is the reason I am willing to hear you."

"Peg, what are you-"

"I overlooked what you did to Maria because she asked me to and promised to tell me if it ever happened again," Howard's entire demeanor changed at that. He sat back and looked… tense. "I want to hear what has been going on with you lately. I want to hear about what I walked into a week ago, and I want you to be honest."

"It wasn't- I may have overreacted. I seem to forget Tony is a kid sometimes. He messed up the shell, and I got angry, okay."

"That's not how you treat any of the adult scientist and engineers, though."

"It's just a little tough love, Peggy. You are looking way too much into this."

"That wasn't what it looked like. It looks like you are unhinged, Howard," the genius she used to admire scoffed, but she carried on anyway. "You have a bottle of Jinn in your desk drawer right now, and a vodka bottle is hidden in the lab. An undercover agent in the Time's caught a reporter who said with a story about CEO of Stark Industries attending a product launch drunk and vomiting on a Military officer! They were able to make the story go away, but this is out of hand. You almost tore this organization apart with your callousness. The Howard I know would never hurt a woman or a child, let alone his own wife and son! He wouldn't jeopardize his company with his drunken shenanigans, and he wouldn't ruin everything I worked for either. So, something is going on with you lately, or you are not my dearest friend anymore. I am hoping it is the former."

Howard pulled out the Jinn bottle and two shot glasses and poured them. He indicated for Peggy to take a seat, and when she finally sat and took her glass, he said: "He brings out the worst in me, that boy," Howard drank his shot and poured himself another. Peggy feels like she should stop him, but something tells her that she wouldn't get answers if she did. "Every time I see his face I just- After the war and the Manhattan project had gone so wrong, killed so many people, but we won, I realized that that was all I could do; help win wars. Then Nam happened! It made me realize that I was only good because _he_ made me good. I can be a better man when he was there; you were like that. You made me good. But you had your own life to lead, and everything I touched turned to fire and blood. That was when I met Maria, and I fell in love again."

Peggy didn't understand how this explained anything, but she was willing to listen. Maybe that was what he needed, for someone to listen to him. So, she let him drink and ramble.

"It was like Tony knew I wasn't good from the beginning. Did you know I thought he didn’t speak until he was three? Apparently, he would talk to everyone but me. He used to cry every time I carried him when he was a baby. They say babies have a keen sense of people. My own child rejected me. Everything I did to protect him backfires and alienates Maria and Edwin from me. Sometimes I feel like I'm an intruder in my own home! I put him to school and Maria thinks I'm taking him away from her! It was like I couldn't do anything right!

Then the little one turned out to be a genius. I am out here floundering, and he just gets better and better… it feels like I'm being replaced, honestly. So, I thought finding Steve, bringing him back might… fix things; help me find my place again, but no luck. And know I lost you too, but that was on me."

"It isn't that you were replaced Howard; you didn't give your son a place in your heart."

"He looks like me when I was younger, smarter, and so full of promise. He will be better than me, and I can't bear it. Tony is unstoppable."

"Was that the first time you hurt him, Howard?" he looked away at the question.

"was that why you convinced Maria to leave?"

"Answer the question."

"It will be the last."

"It better be."

 

 

Peggy's four-decade friendship with Howard clouded her judgment and made her believe him. A year later, She and Her Husband move into the brand new main headquarters of S.H.I.E.L.D, The Triskelion in DC.  She approves of Project P.E.G.A.S.U.S to resume in hopes of distracting Stark senior. She will come to regret so later after it's too late.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> do you guys like the different perspectives?


	6. First Love, First Party, First Lie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ty looked like he was gonna be sick. The entire room was looking at him, and Tony felt terrible for him. He knew Ty never slept with anyone; because Ty would have never wasted an opportunity to brag about it. Tony would have heard all about the gritty, exaggerated and a little fabricated, details. TEver since they started high school, Ty had abandoned him for his futile quest to be popular, but now they barely talked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: underage sex and drinking.

**September 1984**

Tony had a fantastic time in Austria. They stayed with the Reeves who had a son a year older than him, Marco. He visited the Opera house with his mom, who had never looked happier than being surrounded by art and music and went to the Observatory every chance he got. One time, he was explaining to Marco how much power a trip to Mars would take when Marco kissed him. Tony liked kissing. And touching. And pressing up close to someone warm and smelled nice. Marco smelled nice. Tony liked Marco. They stayed in Vienna for three beautiful dream-like weeks. Tony had sex with Marco the night before they left. He hadn't meant to at first, but then Marco kissed him and told him he'd miss him… Ty had always talked about sex. He had said it was the entire point of asking someone out and kissing them; to get them in to let you have them. Tony wanted Marco to have him, he was turning fourteen in three months, and he may never see Marco again.

Marco was… prepared. He had lube, and he prepped Tony, and they had sex. Twice.

Tony liked sex.

Coming back home brought back the painful memory of his hand getting burned and a sense of paranoia. His hand was still injured, it was a third-degree burn after all, but at least he won't have to come home for weekends anymore. After his "accident" Maria decided that Tony shouldn't spend so much time in workshops, he should spend it in school, maybe join a club and be with his friends. He was starting high school this year. Howard had agreed.

The day before he left for school, Obbi came over for dinner with his fiancée Loraine. She was a lawyer he met going over a contract or something boring like that. She was very tall and wore heels that made her even taller. Tony liked her; she was as loud as Obbi, and she insisted on everyone calling her Lori. Obbie & Lori.

They had a nice dinner with Lori discussing wedding preparations and Maria giving her names and contacts that can help her. It was when Tony asked for the mashed potatoes, and Lori tried to hand it to him when things went slightly south. Tony's whole body seized up, blood draining from his face and he could have sworn that he felt his hand burn and bleed, the blood feeling cool compared to the heat of his charred skin. Jarvis, who was serving them dinner, interjected smoothly and took the bowl from Lori before the rest of the table would catch on and calmly explained that Tony didn't like being handed things. He placed the bowl in front of Tony and pressed the back of his neck reassuringly. Jarvis knew.

Dinner finished shortly after that and they decided to have drinks by the Piano where his mom and Obbi played for them as he and Lori sang. Lori used to sing when she was younger. Tony tried to convince his mom to give him a drink too, one cup of red wine wouldn't hurt, mom! But it was no good.

Lori asked Tony to grow up faster and help in the company already, maybe than Obbi would have more time for her.

"Obbi likes to work; he wouldn't go home even if I joined the company."

" _If_ you joined the company?" Obbi asked, his smile frozen in his face. Howard looked at him sharply, eyes wide.

"Well, yeah. It's not like I _have_ to work for SI, is it?"

"well, what are you thinking of doing? Will you be a doctor?" His mom looked excited about the idea, or it could be the wine. Alcohol made his mother bubbly.

"Ooh! A surgeon!" Lori and his mom giggled and thought he would look handsome in a white lab coat and scrubs.

"No, I was thinking more like… Astronaut? Or a rocket scientist. Or both." He was afraid to look at his dad, so he kept his eyes on the two intoxicated women. He should've looked.

"I see. Well, that’s great, boss boy. Or should I call ya space boy from now on, hmm?"

Howard hadn’t commented nor brought it up ever again that evening. Obbi and Lori left around ten, and Tony went to bed. He dreamed of the nightmare man for the first time in years. But oddly enough, it only looked like the faceless nightmare man, but he sounded and acted like Howard, and he kept giving him balls of flame.

With the end of summer, Tony learned a few things: he liked sex, he didn't like being handed things, he was going to space, and he can trust Peggy Carter and Jarvis.

He left for school the next day and got paired with Spencer, the creep, as a roommate again. Great.

If middle school was hormone angst, high school was hormone crazed. All the boys did was compare dick sizes, masturbate, and watch girls. The girls motivated everything they did. And if you weren't a big, well endowed, good looking guy, then you are a target. Tony, unfortunately, fell in that department, being three years younger than everybody on _campus_. What made matters worse was the fact that he also falls into the _nerd_ category, he had signed up for the chess, science, and robotics clubs. He might as well have put a neon sign on his butt that said: "stick my head in a toilet, please."

Gabbi was there though, a senior now and stressing over college. She asked Tony to help her study, and he said yes to her. Gabbi was sweet, smart, and pretty; she never treated Tony badly or differently. That, unfortunately, hadn't made him less of a target.

Tony was being bullied in P.E, in the hallways, and after dark in the dorms. A group of sophomore "elites" didn't like Tony, period. It appears that anything Tony says or does aggravates them; it was like being surrounded by six mini Howards and Tony doesn't have the patience for it.

Ty has done… nothing. He was too busy styling his hair and chasing skirts to at least appear to be Tony's friend. And that little weasel Spencer tells those jerks where he is and even opened the door for them one time.

Getting dragged out of bed in the middle of the night while blindfolded just to end up being locked in the girls' Lockerroom naked till the next morning was… upsetting. He knew those asshats chose Tuesday because it was when Gabbi had P.E for the first period. Everything happened so slow but so fast at the same time. It was like one minute he was trying to unlock the door, and the next screams and laughs were bouncing off the walls of the room. A litany of "oh my god," "is that Tony?", "creep!", and "how did he get in here?" were so loud. It was too much. He suddenly felt freezing, but very hot at the same time. He didn't care that he was naked, but everyone else seems to. He felt his brain disconnecting with his body; he knew he had to move, to do something. Maybe try to explain or cover himself, but a small voice in his head brought up a pretty good point: explaining or covering up wouldn’t change anything; they already made their conclusions and already saw him naked.

So, he decided to do something else; instead, he stood up and leaned back at one of the locker stalls and casually asked: "Oh, sorry, is this the Ladies' room? My bad." He hoped to god he didn't sound as panicked as he feels. This was what all that press training was for, but he doesn't think the man who coached him four years ago meant this when he said to picture the crowd naked.

The girls started giggling until a loud voice told them to get out. One problem solved.

"Tony?"

"Coach Simmons! Oh, and Gabbi's here too! How was yesterday's Chem test?"

"Uh.. it was fine? Tony, what are you doing in here? And why are you-" she kept her eyes over the shoulder, bless her. But Coach Simmons has never been known for her tolerance.

"Start talking Stark!"

"Not sure myself. One minute I was in bed like a good boy who eats his broccoli and makes handguns and the next thing I knew I was in here butt naked. You haven't happened to see my clothes somewhere on your way here have you-"

"Here, you can borrow my gym clothes."

"Thanks, Gabbi. You're the best!"

"Stark, get dress and go to the principal's office-"

"Oh, come on, couch Simmons! It's not a big deal-"

"You were locked into the girls' Lockerroom naked; it is a big deal!"

"Aw couch, I'm flattered. It's just that I'm not ready for a relationsh-"

"GET DRESSED STARK!"

"Getting dressed, I'm getting dressed." He can see Gabbi's shoulders shaking with a suppressed laugh. Mission accomplished. Coach saw her too though and told her to let the girls know to come back inside.

The girls came back in as Tony and Simmons exited, and kids were crowding the hallway to witness the drama. Word goes around fast. He can see the "elites" with snickering at him. It didn't last long because the senior girls going back inside were laughing _with_ Tony, not at him.

"Bye, Tony."

"Stop by again."

"Will do, don't have too much fun without-"

"That's enough, Stark. Principal, NOW."

Tony walked past the jerks in his girl's gym shorts and shirt and with a wink. He got almost got detention, but Gabbi came in and said the door was locked when they got there and had to get the key from Helsinki the Janitor. Tony walked out of that incident victorious and popular with the girls. It also managed t piss off those jerks more.

"Ty, you're friends with Gale, aren't you?" Gabbi asked one time during lunch.

"Not really. I'm in the same baseball team, but I'm on the bench. I don't really talk to him."

"Can you start talking to him and tell him and his buddies to lay off Tony? They tried to steal his homework yesterday!!"

"Not my problem."

"He's your best friend, Ty. We all know how lucky you are to have one in the first place."

"Fuck you, bitch! And fuck him too! That's what you get for being a smartass know it all."

"Jealousy isn't cute, Ty."

"And sucking a minor's dick is a felony, Gabs,"

"You are vile! I don't get why Tony even likes you; you are the worst."

"Whatever."

Ty hasn't been hanging out with Tony anymore. He is always fighting with his sister, and he is even friends with the guys that bully him. He didn't know why until he found Gabbi crying in the computer room. He was supposed to teach her about computers and didn't see her by the library door where they agreed to meet.

"Gabbi, what's wrong? Are you nervous about the SATs, because you got that-"

"No, it's not the stupid SATs," her voice sounded watery and wrong. Gabbi always looked upbeat and cheery; Tony didn't like seeing her like this. "My parent' are finally finalizing their divorce, and I-"

"Wait, your parents are getting a divorce?"

"Didn't Ty tell you?"

"No. we haven’t… Ty has new friends now."

"Yeah, I noticed. He is such a jerk! I mean, this is hard on _all_ of us, but he acts like the center of the universe, and he blames _me_!"

"Why does he blame you?"

"I told mom about my dad's affair with his secretary. They separated over the summer and have been fighting all the time, and now it's finally over."

"Do _you_ blame yourself?"

"A little. Do you think it's my fault, Einstein?" she asked with a watery smile.

"I think what you did was brave, and that I would do the same. No one messes with my mom and gets away with it, _especially_ my dad," She started crying harder after that, tears of relief. He dug up a tissue from his backpack and helped her stand up. "Come on, let's learn about computers."

High school was strict, but the seniors get special leeway given how stresses they are. They get to throw parties now and then, and the faculty pretends not to know about it as long as there is no drugs involved and no solid proof of alcohol. Seniors get to invite some non-seniors, but those could get kicked out if they aren't fun. This was the first party of the semester; it was located in the student body council room situated on the back of the building. There were music and food, and everyone was out of uniform.

Gabbi invited Tony to a party before winter break. Ty was there because a senior from the baseball team deemed him cool enough. It was weird, being with Gabbi but not Ty. It didn't feel right. Ty looked daggers at Tony like he had offended him somehow. It wasn't until A student body member wheeled in a cart of four six-packs that Ty cornered Tony.

"How'd you get in here, _Tiny_?" Ty was dressed up. His hair looked lighter, or maybe it was just the perm. He was trying too hard.

"Gabbi invited me. What's it to ya?" Tony answered, flippantly. He knew better than to give Ty a reaction; it was what he wanted.

"You don't belong here." Ty's eyes were shifting, looking worried that he would be seen talking to Tony. Tony knew Ty was going through a lot, but this was ridiculous.

"Yet I'm here anyway. Schrödinger's Stark, they call me."

"Go back to bed; it's past your bed-time, _Tiny_."

"No, I'd rather stay here and party. And you better come up of a more creative way to insult me because _Tiny_ is so elementary."

 _"You_ should be in elementary!" Ty looked frustrated. Good. "Forget it! You are impossible," Tony took the time to mouth the words " _I'm impossible_ " just to see Ty go red in the face. "Just don't ruin this for me like you _always_ do."

"Riiiiiiiiiiiight. Okay. I'm gonna go grab a beer before they run out, excuse me."

"You can't drink!" Ty was looking at him like he grew a second butt,

"Yes, I can. I've done it before, and I'm on my way to doing it again." He left Ty there sputtering about goodness knows what.

There was a senior party ritual that Tony wasn't aware of before. If a non-seniors wanted to drink, they had to play a drinking game. Losing not only gets you kicked out, but it also puts you on the seniors' blacklist, and you can never join any senior part for the rest of your years in Auster. This includes _your_ senior year. Most of the plus ones were just glad to be there and have decided that the alcohol wasn't worth the risk, but not Tony. Tony has been sneaking a drink every chance he got ever since that charity gala. He never took it too far again in fear of disappointing Jarvis again, but he did get shit-faced a few times with Marco when their moms were out over the summer.

The game was simple; everyone has a shot glass of beer, and a senior ask personal questions. If the answer is affirmative, you drink the shot. Not drinking for three straight questions means you lose. There are nine standard questions passed from student body president to the next. Lying gets you disqualified and subject to pranks for a year.

"So, who wants to play?" the student body president, Joan, asked. She and her boyfriend stood in front of all the younger students and practically salivated.

"Tony said he wanted to drink, wasn't that right Tiny?" Ty said, a little too loudly for it to be as casual and spontaneous as he had meant it to sound.

"Shut _up,_ Ty!! Tony listen, you don't have to do _anything_ you don't want to do."

Gabbi is sweet, but it was already too late. The sociopath couple had heard Ty and have locked eyes with him. They were waiting for an answer. Not wanting to give Ty the satisfaction of seeing him squirm, he gave everyone a casual shrug in response.

"Your Stark's kid, aren’t you? The youngest student to ever attend Auster?" the boyfriend asked. He was tall and thin. Not nerd thin, but my-dad-is-so-rich-I-don't-sports-rich.

"I'm not just "Stark's kid," I am Stark. And yeah, I'm game. Sounds fun."

"We have one! Anyone else gonna join? Or is a twelve-year-old ballsier than the rest of you?"

Ty looked nervous. He wanted to join but was too nervous about losing. After two sophomore boys joined and a freshman girl, Hana, had joined, Ty finally had the gets to join also. He could never pass up an opportunity to compete with Tony.

Five cups. Five contestants. Tony, Ty, Brad, Kirk, and Hannah.

"Let the game begin!!"

All the seniors stood in a circle around them. Joan would ask the questions while her boyfriend acted as referee. Two girls had beer cans and oversaw refilling the cups. Winners get access to every and all senior activities and parties, no exception. Losers are deemed forever lame. Withdrawing from the game means losing

"Question one: Have you ever stolen anything?" the crowd oohed.

Two drank immediately; Brad and Ty. Tony hesitated; did he ever steal anything? No, he hasn't — no drink for him. Ty was absolutely glowing.

"Question number two: Have you ever cheated on a test?"

Four out of five drank; Brad, Kirk, Ty, and Hannah. Ty looked over the moon. How could someone be so smug about stealing and losing? Tony was just here for Gabbi and a drink; he couldn't care less about seniors and their sadistic rituals. The crowd laughed when Hannah sputtered her glass. She shrank a bit and looked nervous suddenly.

"Question Three: Have you ever set something on fire?"

One out of five drank. Tony drank the whole cup in one go, while the crowd cheered. He handed the cup to be refilled while he wiped his lips with his sleeve. He had set a lot of things on fire; which was why Jarvis doesn't allow him near the stove, and his mom forbid soldering in the mansion. Their neighborhood firefighters knew them by name and call whenever the mansion stayed safe for a while to check in and say hi. Anna sent them a sorry-for-no-longer-needing-you-pie over two years ago.

"Round two! No more taking it easy, now. Question four: Have you ever skinny dipped?" the crowd cheered loudly.

Two drank. Brad and Tony. It was during the summer, he and Marco sneaked out before dawn to the lake. Marco had been pleasantly impressed with Tony's figure. Especially his arms and chest muscles, which was nice. Tony had always felt like he never measured up to people's expectation. He was always younger than expected, shorter, smaller, snarkier, etc. when Marco had been _impressed_ for a change, well… that did it. He would have done anything Marco asked.

Ty looked at him unbelievably. Ty, Kirk, and Hannah had two strikes, one less drink and they are out.

"Impressive! Question five: have you ever French kissed anyone?"

Four out five drank; Brad, Ty, Hannah, and Tony. The crowd lost it!! They kept chanting out! Out! Out! At Kirk, until he left the council room. The shut the door with a bang and cheered.

"Round three, everyone! This is gonna be fun! Question six: Have you ever been publicly naked?"

Tony drank his cup in one go and walked over to Gabbi and drank her cup too. The senior girls that were present for the Lockerroom incident cheered the loudest, one of them even screamed: "you earned _that_ drink, Tony!"

"settle down, people! So, only one nudist, huh," the crowd laughed. "Question seven: Have you ever held a gun?"

Tony was the only one to drink again. Some called bullshit, and Joan seemed to agree.

"My dad owns a weapons manufacturing company, and I intern every summer since I was twelve. Of _course_ , I held a gun before!"

"Okay, moving on! You three need to have a drink if you don't want to be exiled for life," Joan motioned for the rest. "Question eight: Have you ever been on TV?"

Hannah and Brad were disqualified, but because hey lasted this long, they get to attend this one party. They handed over the cups and joined the crowd dejectedly.

"You and me, huh, just like old times."

"You mean like when I used to ruin everything?" Ty was trying hard to appear to be calm like this was fun and all games, but Tony knew Ty. He was competitive and never joined a game or a competition unless he knew he would win unless Tony were there. He gets rash whenever Tony is involved. He loves winning, but he was obsessed with besting Tony. He can tell that Ty is regretting this. It's funny how much Ty is working himself into a fit over a stupid senior party game.

"Last Question! Whoever drinks is the winner! If you both drink, you both win. If none of you drink, the one who drank most wins. Stark has had six drinks to Tyrone's four."

"It's Tiberius!"

"Whatever. Ready? Question nine: have you ever had sex?"

Tony drank to everyone's shock. He gulped his drink as he watched Ty's face pale. People cheered, and Joan was about to announce him as the winner before Ty drank his cup and then threw the empty cup at Tony.

"Jacking off doesn't count, _Tiny_!"

"Then maybe you shouldn't have drunk it, _Tyrone_ !" Ty was starting to really piss him off. It's just a _dumb game_!

"Is someone lying?" Joan looked ecstatic! "You know what happens when someone lies! So, can any of you prove it?"

"Linda Mason," Tony said, making everyone turn to him. They had been handsy enough to cum, so he went with her. He didn't want to mention Marco because A- Marco who I met in Vienna sounds very much made up, B- Marco was a guy, and he was already being picked on enough as it is, and C- he wanted to keep Marco to himself. "She's friends with the O'Riley twins."

"I know her! She's my sister's friend," one of the beer girls said. "Oh my god, she _did_ mention getting freaky with a Tony by the pool! That was _you_!! But that was last year!"

"Okay, Stark's clear. What about you curly, who did you sleep with?"

Ty looked like he was gonna be sick. The entire room was looking at him, and Tony felt terrible for him. He knew Ty never slept with anyone; because Ty would have never wasted an opportunity to brag about it. Tony would have heard all about the gritty, exaggerated and a little fabricated, details. They had been friends till his trip to Austria. Ever since they started high school, Ty had abandoned him for his futile quest to be popular. Not so much at first, but now they barely talked.

Ty's shifting gaze finally settled on Hannah, and he pointed at her. "It was Hannah!"

All eyes went to Hannah, who just froze. She looked shocked.

"Well? Is it true? Hello?"

Hannah stammered and mumbled something.

"What was that?"

"I said… yeah."

And the crowd went wild. Ty looked hysterical.

"SEE! I told you!"

"We have our winners!"

They partied, and Tony forgot about Ty and danced with Gabbi and beer girl. He drank another can of beer and was on his way back to his dorm room when he saw Hannah sitting by the stairs crying. He went to the bathroom to find some tissues for her. He used to have a crush on her back in junior high. She was pretty back then and pretty now; she didn't deserve to be crying after a dumb party.

He gave her the tissues and sat next to her. He didn't want to leave until he knew she was okay.

"Ty only dated me a week. I was so happy when an older boy said I was the prettiest girl in school. He broke up with me because you weren't interested in me, so it wasn't fun anymore." She said, sniffling between every other word.

Tony didn't say anything to that; it wasn't his place. His mom told him once that people sometimes need to get things out of their chests. _Not everything needs fixing, bambino, they just need to be aired out._ This was what she meant. There was nothing for him to fix, just like Gabbi crying over her parents' divorce.

"We never had sex."

"I know."

"I don't know why I said we did. I should've said no, let him get picked on for lying."

"But you're not like that. You don't like hurting people; you rather get hurt instead."

"Did you really like me? Before, I mean?"

"Yeah, I did."

"Not anymore?"

"I still think you're smart and pretty, but I don't think I could like you like that again."

"Okay."

"Are you okay?"

"I should be asking you that. You drank a lot."

"It's Friday, no school tomorrow. I'll be fine."

Winter break meant Christmas at Stark mansion. The older Tony got, the more scared he got from the mansion. It had four floors. The main floor, had the parlor, dining area, ballroom, Howard's office, kitchen with storage, and library. The living floor had the bedrooms and guestrooms, each with their private restrooms and closets. Then there were the lower floors: the lab and workshop floor and the vault floor.

Tony had never been to the vault floor; no one ever has except for Aunt Peggie and Jarvis. Howard has an entire collection of Captain America & Howling Commandos Memorabilia in a secret room behind his bookshelves in his office. So, Tony doesn't know what could be more valuable that has to be kept in a fortified steel vault underground.

The garage and Olympic pool were outside, so as the Jarvis's residence. They had their own "normal-sized house" within the property. The property was huge with acres of greenery and trees around it. It was now white due to the snow.

When he first got back to the mansion, Tony headed straight to the parlor where he knew he'd find his mom. He found her with Peggy in what looked like a serious discussion. They cheered up when they noticed him by the door.

Peggy asked him about his hand, and if he was doing okay now. They talked, and Anna joined them with biscuits. They all complained about his hair being too long, and he promised to cut for Christmas. He felt good. He hasn't felt this way since Vienna. In school, he had been friendless and mostly sat alone. Gabbi comes and goes, but all she does was complain about Ty, stress about her grades, and worry about not getting accepted into Harvard. The party was fun; he felt included, and the alcohol certainly helped. But things went back to the way things used to after that. The sophomores stilled picked on him, but the seniors liked him a little.

It was nice just being with people that know him and enjoy his company. That was until Howard came, late for dinner at that.

"Tony! You're here!" Howard only noticed him on the table when he passed him the salad.

"It's winter break, where else am I gonna be?"

"No need to be a smartass! Is it winter break already? My, does time fly," Howard continued eating, so Tony thought that his dad has checked off "talking-to-your-son" from his to-do list. It was why he was so startled when Howard spoke again; he dropped his spoon and splattered food on his mom's nice tablecloth. "How's the hand?"

Howard was looking at where his left hand was before Tony pulled it to his lap. It didn't need bandages anymore, but it was a mess of dead tissue, charred skin, and ugly scars.

"Better… I followed the doctor's instructions and was able to maintain full range movement." Tony thought it would be safe to keep his thoughts focused on the clinical aspect of this interaction. _Don't think too hard about this._ He doesn’t know what is going on, but he'll be damned if he ruined his mom's dinner with an argument with _Howard_.

"We'll be seeing Dr. Gaiman Monday for a checkup. He said before that Tony might need surgery, but hopefully that wouldn't be necessary," his mom gave him a reassuring smile. "Peggy, you barely ate anything!" and with that, she steered the conversation away from Tony.

Tony can feel Howard's eyes on him during the rest of the evening. Is this how it’s going to be for the rest of winter break? _God, I hope not._ He decided to excuse himself early and go to bed. On the top of the stairs, he heard Peggy mention something about forgetting to give something to Tony. He listened to his mom saying she’ll make sure Tony gets it. Thinking it was probably his Christmas gift, he didn’t think it was worth risking being in the same room as Howard again, so he headed for his bedroom.

His room hasn’t changed since he left for boarding school. His room still had the vintage Captain America bonds tour posters his dad put up when he was four. He can see his favorite one from his position in the bed. Captain Steve Rogers in bright blue, red, and white asking YOU to help him defeat Hitler. He kept thinking about the party, and Ty, and Gabbi, and poor sweet Hannah. He thought about beautiful Marco and his wonderful hands. What would have happened if he had told the truth of who he had slept with? Should he have told his mother as soon as they got back?

He misses the feeling. The way everything took a backseat, and all his senses were focused on roaming hands and rhythmic movement that brought him higher and higher and higher still _till_ _I reach the stars._

Tony had a dream of Captain America that would make politicians weep. It would be the first of many, and Tony didn’t mind _at all._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what do y'all think?


	7. Summer Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You know, my father had never found a problem he couldn’t fix with his belt. He never asked me and my brother who started it, he just undid his belt and let us both have it,” Tony had a feeling that he wouldn’t like where this was going. “You never had that. Always coddled by your mother, and fussed over by Jarvis. No one ever toughened you up, and that’s on me, kid.”
> 
> Tony's relationship with his father gets complicated. Christmas and graduation brings him hope.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: domestic violence, underage drinking  
> Howard is at it again.

Tony lay back in bed, thinking about the dream he had. Wow. Maybe, Spencer, had it figured out after all… he re-lived his dream when he woke up using his hand, the cap poster, and his imagination.

He got out of bed to shower, got dressed, and made his bed before heading downstairs. It was 9:00 am, and Howard was at the table looking like he didn’t want to be there while Maria kept adding fruit cubes to his plate while holding his coffee hostage. Howard ate the fruits; he always did eventually, while Maria beamed. His mom was a morning person, his dad… not so much. Howard gets up in the morning for his wife, eats fruits before coffee, for his wife, and tolerates his son for his wife. Maria is his only redeeming quality, and everybody knows it.

Tony decided to join them when Maria finally handed over the coffee cup. Tony wasn’t stupid; he’d never willingly been in Howard’s presence if the man didn’t have a cup of coffee or a glass of booze. He was terrible with them, but worse without. Maria made him a plate as he mumbled a good morning to his father.

“Tony, bambino, Peggy had letters for you from the Reeves! She- Tony, dear, are you alright?”

Tony had choked on his scone when she mentioned the Reeves. Marco sent him a letter? _No, she said letters._ Plural.

“Yeah, mama, I’m fine. You said letters?”

“Yes, sweetie, I left them in the parlor. You can have them after breakfast.”

Howard was observing him. He went back to his breakfast and tried to ignore his father’s scrutiny. He was nervous and full of-of something. He wanted those letters. Did Marco miss him? He smiled at the thought.

“So, you had a good time with the Reeves over the summer? Did you visit the Observatory as you wanted?” Howard asked.

“Yeah, the Reeves were nice. And the Observatory was… phenomenal.”

“Do you want to come to the workshop with me and help your old man today?”

He didn’t know what this means. The last time he was in a workshop with Howard, he ended up crippled in one hand and slapped across the face. His mom looked must have thought so too because she didn’t know this was a good idea.

“He just got back from school yesterday, Howard. Let the boy rest; it’s his break!”

“I don’t mind, mom. It’s okay,” he swallowed his nervousness and looked at Howard. “I had an idea I was dying to build anyway.”

“Well, you two seem to have your day planned out. I’m leaving in half an hour to meet up the organizers. We need to make sure we have enough supplies for charities this winter and Christmas. I’ll probably be back by lunch. Try not to set the house on fire, dears.”

His mom excused herself to get ready. Howard told him to wait for him at the lower level while he talked to Maria. Tony was joined with Jarvis at the table a little while later. They talked about school and Tony told him about his fractured friendship with the Stones.

“Tiberius seems to be having a natural reaction to his parents’ separation considering his age,” Jarvis looked at Tony’s hand while he spoke, it made Tony self-conscious. “That doesn’t, however, excuse his behavior to you or his sister. Don’t let other people use you to vent their frustration on things you have no part of or control of, Anthony.”

“But I’m the perfect person to dump your frustration on, J! That’s what I am at school! I’m the kid you strip naked and throw in the girls’ Lockerroom just to get a laugh! They trip me in the hallways, they steal my homework, and they ‘accidentally’ throw food at me! I do nothing to offend them, J, but I do anyway! If I talk, I’m a know-it-all ass; if I stay quiet, I’m a standoffish prick! Nothing I do or don’t do helps, and now I don’t even have a friend,” Tony was scratching his left palm. “Jarvis, I- I got wasted in a party. I know I said I wouldn’t anymore, but-but it’s been hard, okay! I’m alone, and sometimes it gets loud up here,” he pointed at his head. “I’m sorry I did it.”

“Oh.”

“Oh?”

“I can’t make you do anything you don’t want to do for yourself. I asked you not to drink for your own good, Tony. You are still too young to drink-”

“I’m also too young to build and make weaponry, but I don't see anyone trying to stop me from making a grenade _for my own good_!” he hadn’t meant for it to come out as accusatory, but it did. Jarvis looked at his hand, and he looked so sad and regretful. Tony felt like shit.

“Right, I suppose it does seem hypocritical of me to lecture you. Your weapons and grenades wait for you in the workshop, as does your father. You shouldn’t keep him waiting.”

“Jarvis, I didn’t mean-”

“That’s quite alright, master Tony. We’ll talk more after lunch. I’ll be with your mother all day.”

The intercom buzzed, and his mother’s voice came through to tell Jarvis she was ready to leave for her eleven O’clock.

“Excuse me, sir.”

Tony is gonna have to make him hyper-electric teapot as an apology for being an ass. He went downstairs to the workshop. He pressed the code and started putting on his safety gears when he heard Howard behind him.

 

_After breakfast, Howard followed his wife upstairs. She was upset, he could tell, and he needed to make sure she walked out with a smile on her face. So, he told Tony to meet him downstairs._

_“Love?”_

_“I’m at the vanity,” Maria was in a robe and starting her to put on her makeup. Her hair was short now, he preferred it long. It’s the trend, Howard. Don’t be a stick in the mud. H stood there watching her, lost in thought till she spoke again. “Why are you here, Howard? Aren’t you supposed to be downstairs blowing the roof of_ my _house with_ my _still injured son?”_

_“I’m here because you aren’t happy with me. Last time I checked, this was my_ _house too, and Tony is my_ _son too. Besides, his hand is just fine! He said so himself.”_

_“Is that why you asked at dinner last night? To check whether he can be of use or not? Howard, you didn’t send him a single letter for the three weeks we were gone, and you haven’t called him either. You don’t check with the school; you don’t talk to your son at all unless if you need a lab assistant! Then the minute he comes home you don’t waste a minute to drag him back into work!”_

_“I admit, that does sound bad now that you said it out loud. But in my defense, I didn't know if he’d even want to hear from me. You see how he is whenever I'm around; the boy shuts down!”_

_“And who’s fault is that, hmm?”_

_“I’ll make it up to him, I promise.”_

_“You’ve been saying that for ten years now. I used to believe you.”_

_“Past tense?”_

_Maria gave him a bored look through the mirror. She had finished her hair and makeup. She got up to wear a dark blue suit with a matching waist belt. She had an off white turtleneck underneath that made her pearl earrings gleam. She wore her shoes and took her white coat and walked out. Howard followed her._

_“Okay, so, has it occurred to you that maybe we just don’t get along?”_

_“Has it occurred to you_ _that he is your flesh and blood and therefore you_ _need to put in more effort into maintaining your relationship?” as she briskly walked down the stairs._

_“Sounds like a lot of work. Honestly, dear, HOW are you this fast and not out of breath!?”_

_“Aerobics. And the Atomic bomb sounded like a lot of work, but you did it anyway.”_

_“Ouch,” they stopped by the parlor and can hear the faint sound of Tony speaking with Jarvis. “But, point taken.” he helped her put on her coat. She slipped on her red gloves and fixed her scarf before she noticed something on the piano and sighed._

_“Tony forgot the letters. Howard, be a dear and hand them to Anthony,” she pressed the intercom to tell Jarvis to bring the car. “I’ll be back before lunch._ Give this to Tony _.” she pressed the stack of letters to his hand and headed for the garage._

_Why would the Reeves send Tony letters? He checked the sender’s name, and it was all from Marco Reeves. Five letters in total. Maria had talked about Marco, said that he and Tony got along very well._

_He was curious to know what would a letter to Tony be about. What could they have in common? So, he opened the first letter. Oh, no._

 

Dear Tony,

I know you just left, but I can't stop thinking about you or that night. I’ve never met anyone like you. I miss you already, and I wish I had kissed you one more time. I wish I were braver sooner. Do you miss me like I do?

 

_Howard stopped reading, not because he didn’t want to know what else Marco wished he could do to his son, but because his hands were shaking so hard, he couldn’t read anymore. There were five letters. He sat down and skimmed the rest of the letter. Tony, who was barely fourteen at the time, slept with a SHIELD agent’s son! He opened another letter that had pictures. Tony and who assumed was Marco outside the Observatory, pictures of Tony disassembling a kitchen appliance, one of Marco kissing Tony in the neck, a picture of Tony in a lake, and others. Ones a parent didn’t want to see of their child._

 

Dear Tony,

I wanted you to have these to remember me by. I keep them with me wherever I go; I keep you with me wherever I-

 

_Howard had enough. Tony was in the workshop, and he promised Maria to deliver the letters._

 

Tony knew the minute he saw how tense Howard’s shoulders looked that he was in trouble. He didn’t know what he did or why, but he knew he had to get to Anna fast. Howard threw something at him before he could try to bolt past him.

“Marco sends his regards.”

Tony’s blood ran cold. Oh. “You know.”

“Marco was not only descriptive of what he did and wants to do, but he also provided pictures,” Tony picked up the scattered photos and letters. He can feel his face heat up with horror and embarrassment. There was a picture of them right after the first time they had sext. Marco wanted to be a photographer and had taken a photo of Tony’s body. Howard saw them. Howard knew everything. “Did you do this to get back at me? To ruin me?”

“What?” Howard grabbed his arm and shook him hard. Tony’s heart was beating fast; his mind kept bringing back the memory of white-hot iron and the smell of barbeque.

“If this gets out to the press, that my son is- what the fuck were you thinking?!” press?

“I didn’t do it to get back at yo-”

“THEN WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU-”

“NOT EVERYTHING IS ABOUT YOU, YOU GODDAMN CONTROL FREAK!” Howard was stunned by the outburst, so stunned; he let him go. “I liked Marco, so what if I had sex with him! I liked Linda too and would’ve slept with her if her parents hadn’t come looking for her.”

“You will never see or speak with Marco or sleep with boys ever again. If this gets out, we will lose the military contract, and our stock will hit rock bottom faster than you could blink! Are you listening to me?”

“All I'm hearing is ‘the company this’ ‘the stock that,’ I don’t give a fuck about your company or its damn stock! If it weren’t for me, it would have bankrupte-” Howard shoved him till his back hit the workstation hard. It knocked the breath right out of Tony.

“You stupid little pansy! What the fuck did I do to deserve you as a son?!”

“Let me guess, you lost a national treasure of a man, bombed and mutilated half a race, then encouraged gullible young Americans to fight an impossible war and is responsible for the deaths of thousands,” Tony took a much-needed breath and looked at his father. “I have been nothing but good to you. I do everything you ask of me. I didn’t tell mom about you stealing my designs; I continued to let you take credit for my work. I work twice as hard as your entire R&D department and get paid with punishment. So, what if I kissed a boy or a hundred? SO WHAT?!” he stood up slowly, his back was killing him. “I’m applying for a bachelor's degree in engineering, biological science, physical science, computer science, and mathematics, and I’ll apply to NASA. Then we’ll see how long you and your company last without me.”

They stood there in a standoff, each waiting for the other to do something. A few minutes later, Howard walked to a cabinet and fished out a bottle of whiskey and took a large gulp before facing Tony again. Tony had been slowly inching towards the door to make his escape.

“You know, my father had never found a problem he couldn’t fix with his belt. He never asked me and my brother who started it, he just undid his belt and let us both have it,” Tony had a feeling that he wouldn’t like where this was going. “I resented him, but it made me into the man I am today. You never had that. Always coddled by your mother, her little bambino, and fussed over by Jarvis. No one ever toughened you up, and that’s on me, kid.”

Tony was almost by the door; he was so focused on reaching the door that he hadn’t noticed Howard getting close. His father grabbed by the hair at the back of his neck and pulled his head backward. He put the bottle to his mouth and poured the whiskey.

“Drink it! Maybe it would make a man out of you.”

It felt like drowning. It was in his nose and his mouth and his lungs, oh god. He tried to kick and claw at the hand, holding his head. He sputtered and coughed and cried. It seemed like an eternity has gone by when it couldn’t have been more than a couple of minutes. The bottle was finally empty, and Howard let go to light a cigarette and sit at the workstation while Tony coughed and vomited on the floor.

After he finished retching everything in his stomach and stopped coughing his lungs out, he collapsed on his back on the floor shaking and cold — the smoke from Howard’s cigarette dancing on the ceiling.

“You are not going to NASA, Anthony. You will grow up and work for SI. Do you know how I know that kid?” he sounded eerily calm for someone who just waterboarded their own child with an alcoholic beverage. “I know because I was like you once. I didn’t want to make weapons either, but I did It was what I excelled at. Stark men are made of iron, creating destruction is what we are good at, so start getting used to it.

When you’re done lying there, burn the letters and the pictures. Get your shit together and man up already. Clean up the mess and take a look at these while I make some calls to the Reeves regarding explicit pictures their son took of mine. You see, my father used a belt because that was all he had. I have money and resources that can bury people alive. Remember that next time, kid.”

 

When Maria and Jarvis came back a little before lunch, they found Howard and Tony in the workshop. The place smelled awful but was probably the soldering iron and the engine oils mixed with Howards Cuban cigars. Tony looked ill and moved slowly, lifeless. Jarvis asked Tony to come to help him bring prepare lunch while Maria noticed something under the table. A picture.

She bent over to pick it up and saw that it was a picture of Marco kissing Tony’s neck while her son glowed with joy. She pocketed the picture before turning to Howard, who was going on about this and that while he washed his hands.

“Howard, what would you do if your son was gay?”

“He isn’t.”

“But if he was?”

“He wouldn’t be publicly.”

 

Tony could barely keep anything in his stomach for the rest of the day, and he got into a coughing fit every time he talked too much or took a deep breath. Jarvis hadn’t said anything to the smell of whiskey on his clothes; he just told him to get cleaned up before lunch. His mom thought he was sick and asked him to go to bed early. He hated Howard. He had a large bruise on his back and an instant gag reflex to whiskey thanks to him.

He was stewing in his loathing for his father when he heard the door open softly. His mother came in with a tray and placed it at his bedside. 

"Darling? I brought you some aspirin and soup," she ran her fingers through his hair, while he pretended to sleep. "I'll leave it here for you. The soup is in a thermos, and there's a bottle of water too. Sweet dreams bambino." she kissed his temple and left the bed.

"I wish you would talk to me. I'd turn the world on its head for you."

"I know."

"Talk to me when you're ready, sleep tight."

 

Tony cried. he hated Howard, but he loved his mother fiercely. When he reached for the painkiller, he found the picture of him and Marco prompt on the water bottle. Something was written in the back in neat cursive.

 

_Summer love_

 

 

Maria hasn’t left Tony’s side all winter break. She had canceled or delegated all her responsibilities and takes Tony with her to those that require her presence. She would even sit with them in the workshop. She brought down a stereo player and blasted music, something that annoyed Howard to no end. She’d play it so loud it was deafening. Maria would dance and sing while Tony cheered and join her. She played old Italian songs and some Disco numbers just to make Tony laugh.

“No wonder you love coming down here so much, it’s fun!”

“We barely got any work done!”

“Tony did. The music seems to help him focus.”

It did. It drowned out the rest of the noise in the world and made his pesky conflicting, overlapping thoughts quieter. Howard likes to work in silence; he wants to hear every ‘tink’ and every ‘beep’ his lab made. He didn’t like anyone touching his things, and everything had to be organized according to the stage of completion. Tony didn’t operate like Howard, and Maria knew that.

“It’s giving me a headache.” Howard had been moody ever since his wife decided to join them in the workshop. He hadn’t been able to secretly drink nor throw SI’s blueprints on Tony to look over in her presence.

“Jarvis is putting up the tree as we speak. Go ask him for coffee, maybe that will help.”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m going. I need to go to the office anyway. Clean up before you upstairs, kid.”

Maria watched her husband leave and sighed. She knew something had happened here, something to do with Marco and his letters. It was all her fault. She should have left Howard all those years ago, but she didn’t. She chose to believe his promises, and now her son is keeping secrets from her.

“Darling,” Tony was dutifully placing everything back precisely like Howard liked when his mother called out to him. He always does that; no matter how badly Howard treated him, he still does what is asked of him. Maria is sure he isn’t even aware of it. When he turned around to face her, she continued. “You don’t have to put up with anything your father asks you to do; you know that, right?”

Tony just continued to clean up. He didn’t want his mother to see him tear up.

“Be an astronaut, be a rocket scientist, be with whoever you want, Tony, and leave Howard to me.”

“It’s not that easy, mom-”

“I had a miscarriage before I had you. Losing that baby broke your father’s heart and hardened mine. Your father had grand illusions on what being a father was. To him, father a child is to shape it into an image, a blonde red, white, and blue image.eWhen his child turned out brunet, sharp-minded, and in his image.  It made him realize that my hair color came from a bottle. Instead of coming to terms with his loss and accepting what he had been given, he decided to chase the American Dream.”

“What about you? What did having a child mean to you?”

Maria walked along the workstation and knocked over every tool on top like a cat as she answered. “To me, a child is the future. Your father was often called the pioneer for the future, but he never moved on from the past. He likes to tell you that Stark men are made of iron, but darling, the one who is strong as steel and has eyes forward is you. You may look like Howard, but you are not your father. You are my child, my future. I don’t know how you got so strong and brave, but I'm afraid that it was my fault. I didn’t protect you enough, even though I promised you I would-”

“Mama, no! You-”

“I failed you,” her eyes were red, but she wasn’t crying. “Do whatever you want with your life, Tony. Don’t let anyone bully you. You will always have me by your side.”

His mom had knocked everything from not only the workstations but the shelves too. She started pulling drawers when she found Howard’s stash of booze. She took a sip of each before she emptied it on the floor while Tony watched in a mixture of horror and fascination.

“Let Howard clean his own mess. I’m in the mood for some hot cocoa, let’s go.”

 

Howard never said anything about the mess. Christmas came, and Maria got Tony a stereo and a selection of tapes from Queen, The Rolling Stone, AC/DC, and Black Sabbath. They played them as they unwrapped. Anna made him a blue sweater with red and white stripes on the sleeves and a star in the middle that he put on immediately. She made it three times his size, so he could always wear it. Jarvis gave him a tape of a compilation of his childhood. They decided to play it after dinner. Howard gave him car keys.

“For me?!”

“Your capable of building one might as well have one.”

“But this is the key to your Ford Flathead Roadster! You love that car!”

“It’s yours now. Happy Christmas.”

Tony looked at his mother for any clues. He didn’t understand Howard at all, but she did. She could read him like a book. His mother gave him a little nod.

“Thanks… dad, I love it.”

“Good, now let’s eat! I’m starving.”

They had a fantastic dinner and watched the video Jarvis made. Howard is featured less and less as he got older. He can tell that Howard was viewing most of these moments for the first time. There was a video of Tony at the age of two reading an encyclopedia to Anna as she irons clothes and another one of him and Maria playing the piano when he was three where he kept pulling out PB&J sandwiches from under the cover of the grand piano every time his mom wasn’t looking.

 

There was a video of him on Halloween back when he was five where he dressed up as Captain America and Jarvis was Bucky Barnes. Anna dressed up as Jarvis and Maria as Howard. The two women were wearing their husbands' clothes and impersonating them, giggling the entire time.

 

“I’ve never seen this.” Howard had whispered as Jarvis filmed them going down the street trick or treating. Tony would give the Cap tour speech at every door and wouldn’t shut up until he was given what he deemed was the right amount of candy.

They had eggnog and gingerbread men and went to bed full and happy.

 

It was the last peaceful Christmas in the Stark manor.

 

_During the winter holidays, Director Sousa-Carter received a sealed package from Agent Reeves. It Had a note which read:_

 

_I was requested to destroy these by Dr. Howard Stark. They concern both my son and his. I can’t think of anyone else to trust it to given its “sensitive” content._

 

_Agent Reeves._

 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Coming back to school was strange. People were looking at him. Some even waved and talked when he walked by. It was only when he got to his room to change did he finally get some clarity.

 

“TONY!”

“Hi, Spencer.”

“Man, everyone is talking about you and the party!” Spencer was excited. Tony set up his things and picked out his uniform to wear as Spencer explained how word got around about what happened at the party. How cool Tony was for drinking and winning the game. He talked about how Ty won’t be benched anymore; the captain of the team put in a good word for him, and he’ll be playing field soon. How everyone thinks Hannah is easy now.

“What did you say?”

“She had sex when she was thirteen! She’s a slut.”

“I had sex at thirteen too.”

“Yeah, but that’s different. You had sex with a slut.”

“Excuse me?”

“Linda? Everyone knows she’d sleep with anyone.”

Creepy Spencer that spends all his free time jacking off to magazines and staring uncomfortably long at all the girls is passing judgment. It made Tony feel sick. Poor Hannah.

 

Ty came to find him on his way out of the library.

“It isn’t even the first official day after the break, why are you in the library like a nerd?” Ty looked good. His hair had highlights that reflected the sunset beautifully. Tony always notices how Ty looks. He knows he should probably look into that, but physics come first.

“Because I am a nerd.”

“WRONG!  _You_  are one of the most popular kids in school and my best friend.”

“Your best friend? I thought I always  _ruin_ everything.”

“Are you still hung up on tha-”

“No, Ty. What I’m  _hung up on_  is you pretending not to know me while those jerks made my life a nightmare. I’m  _hung up on_  you are walking around school, calling your sister a bitch and making her cry. I’m  _hung up on_  you lying about having sex with Hannah and putting her on the spot for a  _stupid game_! Everyone is talking shit about her because of  _you_!”

“I panicked! I didn’t mean to lie! And  _yes_ , I was an ass to you, but in my defense, I was going through shit. I lashed out on Gabbi and took it out on you.”

Tony should be relieved that Ty was admitting what he did was wrong but he couldn't. He couldn’t help but notice the lack of apology in his statement.

“What are you gonna do about Hannah?”

“She said yes when they ask-”

“She panicked, just like you.”

“Come on, Tony, what do you want from me?”

“What do you want from me?”

“I want my best friend back? The Mark Antony to my Caesar?” Ty got closer so Tony would have to raise his head to look at him. Ty was a good head taller than him but lean. Tony, with the age difference, thicker around the arms and chest. He’s doing it again; noticing Try a little too much. “You remember that English class, right?”

Of course, Tony remembered. They were supposed to perform a scene from Shakespeare's  _Julius Caesar_  for class, and the class voted for Ty to be the main lead. Ty had insisted that Tony play Mark.  _He even has the name!!_  Tony had performed Antony’s post stabbing speech so well; Mrs. Kent had the year’s play be  _Julius Ceasar_. Tony was the only one from their class to act in it. Ty didn’t talk to him for  _weeks_.

“You said I should be more creative with my nicknames, so, what do you think, Mark Antony?”

“What do I think about what, Caesar?”

“I miss being your friend,” Ty touched his hair, and Tony’s heartbeat went crazy. Oh. OH. “You had pencil shavings in your hair! God, you are such a nerd!”

“I thought I was the most popular kid in school?”

“You are both.”

 

Things worked out between him and Ty. They went back to the way they were; they made everything into a game, and Tony was always one step ahead. Being popular with the seniors didn’t stop his classmates from bullying him, and Ty surprisingly disappears at times of crisis, but at least he had a friend to eat lunch with.

Valentines came by, and he asked Hannah out. Being Hannah’s boyfriend was nice. They kissed a lot and held hands. He learned how to braid her hair and made sure to make her the most efficient flower crown. Ty made fun of him for being sappy, but Tony didn’t care. He had an amazing girlfriend, and Ty was lying about not being a virgin.

It was a little before Easter when Gabbi found him and Hannah at lunch.

“I thought you were MY FRIEND!”

“Gabbi, what-” she slammed a newspaper in front of him.

“THIS is what’s  _wrong_! Your father _ruined_  us!” They attracted a crowd, and he can hear someone call out for Ty. “Stone. INC has bankrupted, and I know it was your dad.” Gabbi was red-faced and crying.

“Gabbi, what the hel-” Ty was here.

“LOOK AT THIS! Oh, god, Ty.” she cried while Ty took her out of the cafeteria.

Tony grabbed the newspaper. It was from the business section and had a picture of both his dad and Charles Stone. The article talked about Stone. INC being accused of tax fraud, stealing from employees’ retirement pension, and money laundering. Not to mention the large debts the corporation cannot pay. The article also said Howard Stark bought the real estate and let the employees keep their jobs in the light of the bankruptcy with the sole condition that all former Stone. INC employees must cooperate with the investigation and trial.

“A trial. Wow,” Hannah had been reading over his shoulder. “But I don’t see how your dad is involved.”

Howard was always involved. He hopes the Stones make it out of this mess okay. He found Ty in his dorm room before curfew to ask about Gabbi. Ty was surprisingly understanding. He told Tony he doesn’t think Howard had anything to do with it.

“Crazy runs in the family, man.”

 

It was all over the news. Charles got away with no jail time, but Stone. INC was no more. Every time Ty pushed someone in the field, the crowd cheers Cheater! Cheater! Cheater! But the worst happened at the seniors’ graduation. Gabbi’s was valedictorian on her graduation and was accepted to Harvard. As she spoke, kids called her a thief and a fraud until she ran out of the stadium. Hannah had no sympathy for the Stones.

“She wanted to be CEO.”

“She’ll need a company first.”

 

**1985**

 

 Tony graduated high school and was valedictorian. He had been accepted at six Ivy League Universities and had the record for the highest SAT score. He was still friends with Ty, much to his girlfriend’s grief. Hannah cried at the ceremony. She said Tony would forget about her once went to college and saw all the pretty girls there.

His parents and the Jarvises attended. Obbi made them reservations and met them for dinner with Lori. They had dinner together, and Tony announced that he was going to the Massachusetts Institute of Technology. Maria made a toast for her future Astronaut/rocket scientist son and even let Tony take a sip of her wine.

Peggy called that night to congratulate Tony and gave them the news. She was officially moving to DC.

 

That summer was spent with his mother, Anna, and J looking at apartments near campus, furnishing and preparing for school. They found a building that has a two-bedroom apartment connected to a spacious basement usually used as a storage. It was on the first floor all the way in the back. It used to belong to the landlord, but he decided to move out and rent the space. It. Was. Perfect.

Tony reinforced the basement's walls and floor and made sure there were backup generators. He had brought one of his Captain America posters to hang on the wall there, while Jarvis took over the kitchen and Maria the décor. Anna made sure they were fed and rested as they worked through the summer.

By the time enrollment came by, Tony has fully moved in. Tony was so excited; he was about to burst! He couldn't sleep before his first day. His mom offered to stay over during his first year of university, but he told her he would be fine.

Jarvis had left him ready-to-be-made meals in the freezer with instructions on how to heat them and cookies in a jar. Anne's crochet work was everywhere from tabletops to coasters to overthrow blankets on the couch. His apartment didn't scream "rich kid" too loud, and that's as good as he'll get from his mother.

 

Apparently, trying to keep a low profile was impossible. People recognized the rich wonder boy instantly. His professors have either worked with his father, benefited from his father, or fought with his father at some point. He had to hear his professors either express how excited they were to have him in their class to test his genius themselves or give a lecture about how no-one's father or their multi-million company can guarantee them an A in this course. He can feel many eyes on him, just watching him as he mentally tried to create an energy vortex strong enough to blast him to the moon.

He got mugged on his way back to his apartment the second week of school. A bunch of kids in masks beat him and stole his wallet, cash, university ID, and his watch. He elected not to tell his mother about it. It was probably just a onetime deal.

Wrong.

He got mugged the next month again; Tony had to be creative. He made a taser that looked like a key chain and zapped the shitheads when they came back a third time.

His first semester consisted of studying, trying to figure out how to feed himself, and tasering the shit out of anyone that looks at him funny on his way back to his apartment.

He was on campus when he heard about the large donation Howard Stark gave to NASA and how he was willing to endorse the space program personally. Tony felt… something. Was Howard actually coming around to the idea? Did his mom talk him into it? He called home in hopes of reaching his father, but Jarvis said both his parents were out.

Tony went to a party that night and celebrated. He danced, he drank, and he ate a brownie that made him slow down enough to feel the earth orbit.

He woke up in the frat house kitchen surrounded by pieces of clothes that may or may not belong to him and parts of a disassembled fridge? Best. Party. Ever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry?


	8. The Pilot & the (not) Astronaut

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For the next month, all anybody ever talked about was Tony Stark. How he is in his first year and doesn’t live in a dorm like the rest of the peasants, or how he was chewed out on the first day by a professor who had beef with his father. He heard about the professors and TAs that were kissing Tony Stark’s ass in hopes of getting funding and how the dean had personally welcomed him on his first day and gave him the tour himself. Rhodes didn’t like how kids of rich hot shots walk around like they were hotshots too, it went against everything he was raised on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tony meets Rhodey

James Rupert Rhodes was the oldest of three children. He was born to a history teacher and a beauty salon receptionist in a small town in Pennsylvania. His mother had him than his twin sisters, Lila and Mona, four years later. His father had always been a laid-back man who let his wife run things, but unfortunately, it became a necessity when he passed away after a heart attack when James was still in middle school. It was a massive blow for the family and to James especially. Mercedes Rhodes depended on her son greatly after her husband died. James was the big brother and his mother’s right-hand man. He took care of his sisters at school, and watched their backs, helped his mom with chores. Leaving for university was hard on James, but it almost broke his mother and sisters’ hearts. He couldn’t attend classes immediately because he had Appendicitis and missed the first two weeks of classes.

Going to school at MIT two weeks late made him feel disoriented. Everything was different. He moved into the dorm with three other people that already had two weeks to decide they hated each other’s guts. He had two weeks of material to catch up with and no friends to lend him notes or help him out. 

James had always been popular and surrounded by friends and family. He was never nervous about making friends in college. He was team captain in high school and had won science competitions. He was the one always helping people out; he isn’t used to being the one lost, dazed, and in need of help. He didn’t know where his classes were or if there are any assignments due soon!

His first day on campus was spent going to each of his professors in their office hours to show them his doctor’s note and explain his situation in hopes of getting a summary of the past two weeks. He had already seen his Physics professor and Basic Design professor. It was outside his Computer Science professor’s office that he first heard about Tony Stark. 

He knocked on the door and walked in. James had an appointment, and the door was open, so he let himself in. His professor was with another faculty member going over a paper and didn’t notice him.

“Are you sure it’s his work?”

“I know his father personally, computers are not his strong suit.”

“He could have hired someone to write this for his son, ghostwriting is-”

“Do you think Howard Stark would be this obvious?! The boy has the highest SAT score in history-”

“And are you sure about that?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, money can buy anything, and Stark has enough money to buy historical records.”

“You think-”

“I’m sorry Dr. Henley, is this a bad time?” 

“Oh, yes! Rhodes, is it?” at James’ nod, Dr. Henley motioned for him to come in and the other faculty member excused himself.

Before he left though, he turned at the door and told Dr. Henley to let Stark redo the paper in his office. 

He met all his professors and collected the syllabus for every course and was finally feeling in control by the end of the day, but he couldn’t get the conversation Dr. Henley had with the other faculty member out of his head. Can someone really just do that? Buy their place in history? Cheat because their daddy can make all consequences go away? Unbelievable.

For the next month, all anybody ever talked about was Tony Stark. How he is in his first year and doesn’t live in a dorm like the rest of the peasants, or how he was chewed out on the first day by a professor who had beef with his father. He heard about the professors and TAs that were kissing Tony Stark’s ass in hopes of getting funding and how the dean had personally welcomed him on his first day and gave him the tour himself. Rhodes didn’t like how kids of rich hot shots walk around like they were hotshots too, it went against everything he was raised on.

He found out that he and Tony Stark both have the same class with Dr. Henley when, on week five, Dr. Henley started distributing their first quiz, and a kid in the third front row freaked out.

“Is there a problem, Mr. Stark?”

“Uh, yeah. What gives?! The quiz isn’t until September 28th!”

“It is on September 28.”

Everyone laughed. James was about five seats behind Tony Stark and couldn’t really see his face. Tony Stark took the quiz with everyone, even though he hadn’t studied or prepared for it.

Tony Stark was the only one to get a full score.

Other students accused him of cheating, and he heard that Stark argued with student affairs who called him in about it, but it was none of his business 

James made a friend that was with him in most of his classes, a cute girl named Georgia who lent him notes on his first week. She asked him to come to a frat party with her and meet her friends. James dressed up and decided it was time to make friends and ask Georgia to dance.

It was a typical party. Overcrowded frat house, red cups everywhere, drunk kids were dancing, drunk kids making out on any flat surface, and beer pong. Georgia led him to the kitchen and introduced him to a group of people. They drank and talked, but all he can think about was asking Georgia to dance. It was when he finally found an opening in the conversation when a girl on his left gasped.

“Oh my god! He showed up!”

“Who?”

“Tony Stark!” she said his name as if it was obvious. “I thought getting robbed a second time would get him to stop coming to parties!”

“Who robbed him?” James was shocked. Do people get robbed on campus? He must have said that out loud because gasp girl answered him anyway.

“Not people; just Tony Stark,” at his puzzled look she added. “Kids are pissed at him. He’s rich, but he’s here on a scholarship while others are getting themselves and their parents in debt. A couple of months a group of guys got fed up with him followed after a party to ‘rough him up’ and found his wallet full of _hundreds_! They robbed him and bailed. It happened again last month. The guy showed up to class with a shiner, and no one said _anything_! Word is getting around that if you jump him at night, you’ll be three hundred dollars richer at the least.” 

James felt… horrified. The girl was talking about a guy getting regularly targeted and robbed with glee! And Georgia was nodding along like it was reasonable to beat and rob someone if they were rich; as if it was expected.

He never did get around to asking Georgia to dance. He tried to find Tony Stark and maybe offer to walk him home or something, but he got distracted by a pretty girl on the dancefloor who noticed him looking and beckoned him to join her. James liked college.

He met Tony Stark in the library two weeks later. James was studying for his midterm when he heard a thump. _Thump... Thump... Thump, bump, thump_. Then a whispered “ow.” He should probably investigate.

Two bookshelves ahead, he saw a kid in a ratty band T-shirt under an expensive looking sweater under an oversized washed-jeans jacket on the floor rubbing a bump on his forehead with a very thick book next to him.

“Please tell me that terrifyingly big book didn’t fall on your head just now.”

“Okay. this monstrosity of a book did not touch down on my face just now.”

“What are you doing?”

“Trying to get a book. What are _you_ doing?”

“Making sure the Easter bunny was hopping the hell out of the library so I can study in peace.”

“I was trying to get the book on the shelf over there, but I couldn’t reach! I was punished enough, thank you very much.” he said in a huff, whispering ‘the easter bunny wishes’ under his breath.

The kid was tiny. He looked like he was still going through puberty and it hadn’t hit hard yet. He was all eyes and messy brown hair. James helped him up and said, “I'm James by the way, James Rhodes.”

“That’s a lot of unnecessary plural in your name,” he shook his hand anyway. “Nice to meet you. I’m Tony.”

“Just Tony?”

“Tony’s enough.”

“Alright. Do you want any other books from the top shelf? I can get them for you.”

“Yeah, I need a couple more books. I have this paper due that I _have_ to get right or else I’m screwed!”

James hung out with Tony for a bit, and Tony offered to get them both lunch. Tony had a paper to work on, and James still needed to study, and his dorm room is too noisy to study in. They had Chinese food and talked about baseball for a while. It was nice.

James saw Tony again two days later in Dr. Henley’s class. He was sitting in the middle of the third row… oh. Oh. This was Tony. THE Tony. Tony Stark.

The Tony Stark Dr. Henley didn’t think writes his own paper. The one that bought his SAT scores. The infamous rich boy here on a scholarship. The kid that broke angry college kids followed after parties to beat and rob… the one who was jumping in the library to reach a book for a paper he has to get right. The one drank coffee while eating Chinese food like a heathen. The one that loved the Yankees with every fiber of his being. 

James sat next to Tony instead of Georgia that day.

Tony Stark always showed up to class with a huge thermos of black coffee and shades on. He would nod off during course or draw designs or write ideas. He would sit slumped in his chair making himself as small and as unnoticeable as possible until he disagreed with something and argued it which would last the entire lecture.

James saw Tony at a party a couple of weeks after they started sitting next to each other in class. Tony was drunk and dancing with a girl if you call swaying dangerously side to side and barely being upright dancing. The guy drank and drank and _drank_! James was worried. It was the 'older brother syndrome' where he felt compelled to take care of others. He left to get the guy a bottle of water and didn't find him when he came back. Maybe he went home. He hoped he went home to sleep, but he had a bad feeling about this.

James was looking for an available bathroom to clean off a stain on his shirt when he heard a girl talking about Tony. He was still here, and he was seen with a couple of guys going in one of the bedrooms upstairs. Last time James saw him, he was on the brink of alcohol poisoning. This didn't feel right.

He knew he should mind his own business, but someone _that_ drunk should be drinking water and going to bed, not making decisions!

He went upstairs. He checked each room pretending to look for someone and walking in on a lot of horny students doing horny things that he preferred, not seeing. It was when he was about to knock on the second to last door when he heard it: laughs and jeers and the sound of a camera clicking. His mom always said he had a sixth sense about trouble. He didn't bother knocking anymore and just opened the door.

Tony was halfway laying on the bed with his feet on the floor. He was flushed, clammy, and incoherent. His shirt was unbuttoned, and his fly was open, his jeans were hanging a little too low. Three guys were in the room with him; one was on the bed with him guiding Tony's hand down his pants while another guy took pictures. The third was at the table on the side going through a wallet. Wallet guy was the one to notice James.

"What the hell! Get out!"

"Sure. I'll just take my friend here and leave you guys be."

The other two stopped what they were doing. The one on the bed pulled Tony's hand from his pants to stand up. Tony was too out of it to even know what was going on. James felt sick. He shouldn't have left him on the dancefloor. And these creeps were taking pictures. He felt… angry. For Tony.

His father always warned him about getting angry. A black man can't afford to get angry; he used to say. Getting angry will cost you your life. James was as laid back and cool tempered as his father was, but that doesn't mean he never got angry. This was making him angry.

"He's your friend?"

"Yeah. He needs his stuff back, and he needs to go home."

"He doesn't look like he's in a hurry to leave. Isn't that right Stark?" the guy smacked Tony's face a little too hard to get him to focus. Tony mumbled something, barely keeping his eyes open. "See. He wants to stay with us. We were making memories."

Wallet guy pocketed his find while camera guy shifted nervously. These idiots were about to find out that James was three times champion and the team captain of his high school's wrestling team. He left that room with Tony, his wallet, and the camera in pieces along with three groaning scumbags that may or may not ever reproduce. It would be a mercy to the world if they never did.

He had Tony in a fireman's hold, and everybody stared as he was leaving. Georgia tried to ask what happened; feigning concern to get the gossip. He kept walking. He walked till he found a vending machine and finally put Tony down. He got two bottles of water, a couple of Milkyways, and some chips. Tony was still out of it. Jesus, those guys were sick.

Tony was short and small. He may be the son of a rich hotshot who may or may not have paid for his son to be here, but that doesn’t mean people can just… take advantage. He tried to wake him up. He shook the guy until he opened his eyes enough to focus.

"Mmm… James?"

"Yeah, That's me. James Rhodes."

"Rhooooooooooooodes."

"There we go Stark. How ya' feeling, buddy?"

"Not Stark! Tony!"

"Okay, Tony, My bad. You feel alright?"

"Like I wanna puke." He was slurring and barely keeping himself upright or his eyes open. This was not good.

"That's not feeling right. You need to drink this and eat something. I have chocolate and chips. Then I'll take you home."

"Party?"

"It sucked, so had to leave."

Tony was trying to keep his eyes open. He looked down at himself and his brows furrowed. His shirt and fly were still open.

"Did I want this?"

"You were drunk."

"I'm gonna puke."

Tony vomited his weight, barely drank half a bottle of water, then passed out again. James looked for his keys to see what dorm he was staying in when he remembered that he didn't stay at a dorm. He had an apartment next to the science building. He hauled his skinny ass there and guessed which apartment was his from the number on the key in his pocket. He got him out of his jeans and buttoned up his shirt. He woke him up to finish the rest of his bottle in between bites of chocolate. He put him to bed and placed the second bottle next to him.

He whispered a "Thanks, Rhodey" before finally going back to sleep.

Tony looked so young and small. He looked even smaller in the big bed of an apartment too big for one person. The place screamed money, that's for sure. Everything was new and state of the art. There were TV and cable: a microwave and a laundry machine. The guy even had his own desk computer!

The floors were littered in warm carpets that feel too good to cost less than a fortune. The apartment had a second fully furnished unused bedroom and a stairway leading somewhere.

It was 1:30 when he checked the time. He didn't feel right leaving. Tony should know how he ended up back in his place, and he wanted to make sure the guy was okay. He didn’t feel right using the second bedroom, so he took his shoes off and made himself comfortable on the couch.

He woke up at eight in the morning and went to check on Tony. The guy was right where he left him. He made breakfast and tried to find some painkillers for Stark's inevitable hangover. He placed the meds next to the water bottle from last night and decided to make pancakes based on the ingredients he found in the kitchen. A half hour later, he heard the sound of rushing footsteps and retching. He's awake.

Tony jumped when he felt a hand push back his hair.

"Shhhh, it's me, James. You know, from CS?" Tony seemed to relax. Good, he recognized him. He kept his voice low, and his movement soft and slow. "I brought you back home from the party last night."

He rubbed his back and let Tony vomit his stomach out. The poor guy was shivering by the end of it, sweaty and too exhausted to pull himself up. James helped him to his feet and kept him steady while he brushed his teeth. He told him to meet him at the kitchen for breakfast when he's done cleaning up. Tony kept stealing glances at him, trying to be discreet but failing miserably. James just chalked it up to confusion and the hangover.

He took the aspirin and water to the kitchen and made sure all the curtains were closed. He made a fresh pot of coffee and thawed out frozen strawberries he found in the freezer to go with the pancakes.

Tony came out freshly showered and dressed up in shorts and an oversized knitted Captain America wool sweater and mismatched socks. He looked like hell.

"Good morning."

"What's good about it?"

"Fair point."

He placed a stack of pancakes, an aspirin, a bottle of water, and a cup of coffee in front of Tony.

"Marry me." Tony looked dead serious.

"I think you're still drunk. Eat your food."

Tony took bites in between staring at James while James made himself at home. He nudged the aspirin and water to remind Tony to take them. It was after they ate when Tony finally said something.

"Did we have sex?"

James spat out his coffee and spluttered for a good to minutes before he got his breathing under control.

"WHAT?! No! Jesus, do you not remember anything from last night?"

"I remember you," Tony was looking at his cup, has been since he asked his question. He looked nervous… scared, even. "I remember drinking, then feeling… good? Then I remember you."

"Tony… you shouldn't get that drunk alone. Not only did you almost drink yourself to death, but you were also too out of it to realize a bunch of sleazebags tried to rob you and take weird pictures of you last night!!" Tony looked uneasy, defensive even. "I'm not trying to tell you how to live your life," James said, trying to smooth things over. "I just think you should have someone to watch your back when you're trying to cut loose."

It worked. Tony seemed to contemplate his words rather than argue them. James cleaned up the coffee he spilled while the guy sat in thought.

"They took pictures? Of me?" he sounded so small. James didn't want to tell him about what those sick fucks were doing. Just thinking about it pissed him off all over again.

"Don’t worry about it. I got your stuff back and ruined their film."

Tony looked surprised and… lost for words. He kept opening and closing his mouth, trying to say something but never managing to articulate it.

"Rhodes, I- You didn't ne-" it was almost funny seeing the guy trying to speak, but it just made James sad. He remembered the stories about him getting robbed and beaten since he got here, how everyone was happy gossiping about it instead of helping. Even at the party. They knew Tony was too drunk to have a say in what was going on, but everyone just watched as three guys twice his size took him upstairs.

"It was nothing. I'm just glad you're okay. Cool sweater, by the way, a Captain America fan?"

"Yeah. Comes with the package. Dad knew him back in the day."

"Sweet. My old man was a fan too. He was a history teacher."

"Was?"

"A heart attack five years ago."

"You were so young; it must still be so hard." The statement stopped James. Not 'must have been,' but 'must still be.' He always avoided telling people his father has passed away for the main reason that people always address his grief and pain in the past tense; as if losing his father so suddenly doesn’t still feel like yesterday. But Tony has referred to it as the present. It made him smile sadly but smile none the less.

"Some days are good. Some are not so good. The worst of it has passed." It was the truth, but it still felt like a betrayal. As if moving on was wronging his father's memory.

"You're strong."

James liked Tony Stark. They talked, and Tony gave him a change of shirt since his was ruined by now and in need of a wash. He spent the rest of the day over playing Atari and darts and going over CS assignment requirements. They ordered pizza for lunch and had enough beers to get a little tipsy.

"Leaving already?"

"It's almost five. I need to write this paper now that I've outlined it. I'll see you on Monday, Tony."

He was almost at the door when Tony said: "See ya, Rhodey."

"Rhodey?"

"Yeah, like Tony but Rhodey."

"Does that make you Tones? Like Rhodes but Tones?"

"Now you're getting' it." Tony was laughing. He had been smiling all day. He looked different when he smiled or laughed; it was like he was a different person.

"Bye, Tones."

"Bye, Rhodey."

 

 

Being friends with genius heir Tony Stark was… never boring. "Rhodey" is, apparently, Stark's "watchdog" hired by Howard Stark to keep his much too young for college son away from trouble. Some are saying that he is actually a bodyguard in disguise while a tabloid magazine insists that he is Tony's boyfriend much to Howard's alleged dismay.

His mom called him when one of the neighbors brought her one of the magazine stories worried. His mom had always been a fan of Maria Stark. "That's one classy lady, Mrs. Stark. People tried to paint her as a gold-digger way back when, but she proved them wrong — a real lady. The next Jackie O! So, to see a magazine naming her son as Mrs. Stark's son's boyfriend? Well, that was an interesting phone call.

"Be careful when you're with 'im, Jim. Don't get into any trouble."

And trouble he got in.

Tony attracted people. He was a wealthy celebrity who is destined to inherit a fortune and an empire; people wanted to get a glimpse of that. Some wanted a piece of it, while others were hoping to be a part of it.

Rhodey, in association, also started to attract attention. People got close to him to get close to Tony. People bought him drinks in hopes he would spill some dark secret entrusted to him or just to hear gossip. He got followed around and was accused of taking advantage of Tony more than once(by people who would also like to take advantage of Tony if it hadn't been for the meddling BFF!), be it for connections, limelight or better grades. But all of that was nothing compared to the wonder boy himself.

Tony should change his name to "trouble," it would be a hell of a lot more appropriate. People stopped mugging Tony after the first couple of months of school, thank goodness. Blackmailing is the new trend now. Broke college students take pictures or videos of the kid partying and threaten Tony to sell them to magazines and news stations unless he pays them higher. And he does, much to Rhodey's dismay.

"You are allowed to be a dumb college kid, Tones! Heck, you are allowed to be a kid!! They can't hold that against you!"

"But they can. And they're doing it right now. If these pictures make it to the press, Stark Industries' stock will take a nosedive. The board will question my father's place as CEO and MY future in SI. People will lose their jobs. I'm not allowed to make mistakes, Rhodey bear, because my mistakes cost people's livelihood and my own parents' reputation."

Words too old for a sixteen-year-old who just wanted to make out with a pretty redhead with cute freckles.

Life wasn't fair.

His friend was sixteen, in college and employed. He is continuously observed and followed and judged and measured by students, faculty, the press, a company's board of directors, his father, and his father's business partner! All his assignments are double-checked for plagiarism or ghostwriting, and all his tests are corrected twice by different professors to make sure it was indeed his work. He works himself to the bone for SI. His father's business partner sends him schematics to look over, expecting new designs every two months, and drops by for "shop talk" more often than not.

The guy deserves to cut loose and be an idiot every other weekend, but no! People go around and try to use him. It's like you can make money from everything the guy does. It makes Rhodey's skin crawl.

Tony doesn't talk about his family or the business. Whenever asked, he talks TV talk and answers by not answering. Rhodey knows nothing more than what the public knows. Tony is his parents' pride and joy. The Jarvises, a cute couple Howard had generously employed are his caregivers. Tony enjoys tennis, video games, and interning at his father's company. His role models are Nikola Tesla, his father, and Captain America. All is well in the house of Stark.

But Rhodey knows from how tense Tones get before winter break that he isn't looking forward to going home. He knows it's because of his father. How? Because Tony is excited to spend the summers home when his father is overseas for the entire season. Tony works for SI during summer as well, "no rest for the wicked" he would say as he packed happily.

College at MIT went like this. Rhodey and Tony, thick as thieves, studied, partied, and annually painted Captain America's shield on the roof of the library on the 4th of July. Rhodey scared off the creeps, or anyone with a camera and Tony tried to buy Rhodey things. Watches, a car (Rhodey had been furious), video game consoles, a desk computer, a TV. He stopped when Rhodey agreed to move in with him and pay for the groceries. Although, Jarvis still showed up every month with Tony's "favorite foods" such as a jar filled with Anna's famous peanut butter cookies, stacks of Mrs. Stark's frozen lasagna to pop in the oven, and ready-made meals by Jarvis that need a little microwave. All for two, so basically, groceries.

Living with the boy wonder was a whole new ball game that Rhodey was, admittedly, not ready for. Tony was a tactile person. He had to touch everything, and he likes to get physical. Rhodey always walks with his arm around Tony's shoulder, lets him hug him and put his feet on his lap when marathoning Star Treck. Tony used to get fidgety around people, awkwardly hovering and having no clue how to mingle, but all the partying loosened him up. As much as he liked to party, he always kept close to Rhodes.

Tony needs noise to think. Silences make him nervous, and the quiet distracts him. He physically cannot stay still, Rhodey even made a study of it. The only way Tony Stark was quiet and still is when he's asleep, he squirms and mumbles when he naps though.

Speaking of sleep, sleep only comes naturally to him when he is dead tired or with a warm body next to him. The boy had night terrors. Rhodey freaked out the first time he woke up to find Tony in his bed, but he soon got used to it. It was better than waking up for breakfast and finding strangers; girls, guys, or both, eating Anna's sacred cookies.

He would get on his case for bringing people over, except he would rather know who Tony's been with and check their things for cameras or recorders than have another person blackmailing, or even stealing from his best friend.

"Best friend?" Tony was hitting his forty-two-hour mark with no sleep, working on a robotics project when Rhodey had been ranting about assholes taking advantage of his best friend. Tony had stopped, eyes red-rimmed and full with… awe.

"Yes, best friend. What did you think we were? Acquaintances?"

Tony smiled. His real smile, not the 'I 'm-the-perfect-son-of-a-wealthy-well-adjusted-millionaire' smile. It was a small smile, no teeth, just a pull to his left cheek. His eyes squint and crinkle. If you didn't know better, you'd think it's a smirk.

"I thought we were… what does mama Rhodes call us?"

"Cackling hyenas."

It was true. No one makes Rhodey laugh like Tony does, not since his father died. That was what made his mom love Tony so much.

"Yeah, that. But we're best friends. The pilot and the astronaut!"

So it had been pretty shocking to see his best friend kidnapped right in front of him in their second year of university. They had been walking back from Dr. Gillian's office. Rhodey was being dramatic. He was complaining about not getting the chance to ask Monique out while Tony consoled him when it happened. Two big guys, military, big, cut them off as they reached the street. Tony immediately pushed Rhodey on the sidewalk and tried to run back to the building. Rhodey had been reeling from the shock of Tony's behavior; he still hadn't registered the two big brutes when he'd been pushed away to safety. He had sat there and watched as they grabbed Tony's small frame with too much force and put a handkerchief on his face as he kicked and squirmed. That was when it finally hit him.

"Hey! Stop. STOP!!" Tony had gone still and slack. Tony is never still, Rhodey thought, even in a daze. "TONY!"

A black van was parked by the street, its door open. Rhodey tried to stop them and got knocked back down. His face throbbed as he saw the car speed off with his best friend in it. That's what mom meant by trouble; he couldn't help but think.

That was when he met Mrs. Stark. He went back to their place and called the Stark Mansion's number. Tony always said to call home if something ever happened to him, NOT the cops, Rhodey! He always thought it was weird, but he chalked it up as weird white, rich kid thing. So, he did as he was asked and called the manor and told Jarvis what happened. Jarvis instructed him to stay put by the phone until they get news.

Two hours later, a strapping blonde military-looking man showed up to escort him to Manhattan. He flew in a private jet and was driven to the Stark mansion to meet Maria Stark.

She was just as lovely as his mother always said she was. She was distraught, eyes red and body full of restless energy (not so different from her son), but she smiled at Rhodey and thanked him for reaching out and helping as much as he did.

That did it for Rhodey. He started crying, sobbing really. He couldn't help but feel like it was his fault. They were only out because he needed to ask Dr. Gillian to be his supervisor. He hadn't noticed the kidnappers and failed to stop them from taking Tony. And here was Mrs. Stark, thanking him for his help!! It was too much. He didn't deserve her gratitude; he had failed to protect her son.

"Oh, sweetheart, no! It's not your fault or his or anyone's fault but the ones who took him. I'm just glad you weren't hurt! Your poor mother would have been devastated!" She hugged him and explained that the kidnappers had called for a ransom. "They'll get their money, and we'll get out Tony, a little sleepy, but unharmed. You'll see."

He can tell that she was scared only from the shifting of her eyes —a classy lady, even in a crisis. She fed him, let him call his mother and the university, and let him sleep in one of the guest rooms when it got dark — the one across Tony's room.

Tony never talked about his home or home life. Rhodey always went on and on about how much he missed home, the twins, his mom, and his neighbors. Tony always listened and asked curious questions like what were his neighbors like? Or what was his favorite room in his house? Or what's it like having sisters? And can you actually see into your neighbor's house from your window like in the movies?

Tony was a curious person by nature; a scientist at heart. He needs all the data. Being in his huge empty house surrounded by acres of land with no neighbors in sight was … enlightening. Tony doesn't know what having neighbors is like. He never had a kid around his age to play with or fight with or defend from a neighborhood bully. He was just a lone kid roaming around in a vast mansion that must have been enormous for a child surrounded by adults.

It made Rhodey think about Tony right now, sixteen, same as Mona & Lila, alone, with a bunch of criminals. He remembered how Tony needed to be next to someone to sleep well. Rhodey didn't sleep a wink that night, which was good because Tony showed up.

Tony was at the mansion door by 5:40 am. He was dirty, bruised, slightly drugged, and pissed. Rhodey could hear him from the staircase going on a rant about how unprofessional the kidnappers were.

"They were amateurs, Jay! They used regular handcuffs and left me, alone may I add, in a room with a window. An unbarred window. They didn't even bother to check on me regularly!"

"So that spring learning magic tricks came in handy, I presume?" Rhodey heard Jarvis' smooth and slightly amused voice say.

"All I had to do was break out of the cuffs, jump off the window, hotwire their car, then leave," Rhodey was at the bottom of the stairs now, and he can hear Mrs. Stark on the phone speaking in a hush. Tony and Jarvis were at the dining table. "They were only a couple of blocks from Broadway st. so I could've taken the bus, but the bus and…" Tony saw Rhodey at the door, and his face lit up before it fell again. "Hey, Rho-"

"You idiot, you scared me!" and that was he could think to say before hugging the living shit out of his dumb best friend.

"Rhodey, I can't breathe!" but he was laughing. Jarvis said something about breakfast and left with a smile on his face. It was the weirdest breakfast he had ever had. Crepes and pancakes were served as Tony continued to rant about how dumb his kidnappers were. Their laughter bordered on hysterical given the highly stressful situation and their combined lack of sleep and Tony's drugged-up state. Rhodey slept at Tony's room and was freaked out by the intense Captain America theme and teased Tony about it. They slept at about 7:00 am and woke up at noon and were flown back to Massachusetts in time for lunch.

Rhodey grew even more protective of Tony.

He and his family were invited to Stark manor every summer for a week where both their moms would drink cocktails and chat or read by the pool as the four kids swam. Tony took Rhodey to exclusive NYC parties that had movie stars, models, and debutantes. It was a strange glimpse into Tony's world and watching how his nerdy best friend turns into a charming young society man was something else.

Tony took him to the gun range, to SI's workshop, and took him on rides on his Roadster. They took piloting lessons where Tony flew like a maniac and almost crashed into a tree. Twice. They attended concerts and had backstage passes and had after-parties with the performers and other celebrities. Rhodey met and partied with the Brat Pack who he later learned did not like to be called the Brat Pack the hard way. Tony was on the floor hollering, so maybe it was worth getting slapped by Molly Ringwald and being nicknamed Pretty in Pink by NYC's elite.

Rhodey invited Tony to Thanksgiving after that, and it stuck. His mom loved Tony. She feeds him and dotes on him while he charms the socks off her while fixing everything in their house. And their neighbors' house. And the twins' friend's refrigerator. Tony was popular on their block.

He even took Lila to prom when her date ditched her last second. He made it sound like they were doing him a favor.

"I've never been to prom. Like a real prom with people my age in a normal high school. It would be so cool if I could…"

He came to pick Lila in a Limo and even had Mona and her date ride with them. The twins had a blast, and Tony was officially their favorite person.

Everyone in his neighborhood calls him Rhodey now.

 Rhodey only got arrested once, and it was Tony's fault. They had been drunk and watching The Twilight Zone marathon when a SWAT team broke down their door and cuffed them, dumped them in the back of a black tinted car and carted them away. They had been held in different rooms, by the army?! And no one would tell Rhodey anything.

Six hours and the most terrible hangover later, an officer told him he was free to go. Outside the door, Tony, still in his Captain America sweater and MIT PJ pants, was arguing with a tall, grey-haired man in an impeccable grey pinstripe suit with an older British woman who was dressed just as impeccably in a maroon pantsuit was trying to soothe the argument.

That was Howard Stark. Shit.

It turns out, Tony hacked the Pentagon, and the department of defense are going apeshit about it. The fact that Tony did it while high as a kite and didn't remember what possessed him to do it certainly didn't help. The woman with Mr. Stark, Mrs. Carter, promised to take care of it.

"These boys should be at school, not military interrogation rooms."

Rhodey didn't like Howard. He didn't like how he talked to Tony, but mostly, it was the way he grabbed his arm with too much force to tell him to be careful. It looked and sounded like a threat.

 

They both graduated summa cum laude from MIT. Tony built a robotic lab assistant with an artificial learning intelligence that had made news! He made the thing during off-hours and between midterms, and he finished the body last summer in his dad's workshop while listening to Queen. Rhodey knew he was a genius, but he can't help getting surprised every time Tones pulls a stunt like that. D.U.M.M.Y, the robot, and his seventeen-year-old creator and boy wonder had major news stations calling the university nonstop trying to find anyone who met Tony for an interview. It was wild.

Tony was obviously valedictorian, and the press was there. Mrs. Stark and the Jarvises were in attendance as well as the forever jolly Obadiah Stane.

Howard Stark wasn't, and that got noticed. Tony noticed.

Something… changed, at that moment.

Tony had been preparing for his speech for a month, and Rhodey knew it by heart at this point. It was a great speech littered with Star Treck references, an ode to whoever was painting the patriotic symbol on the library roof, and striving for a better future. It was the right amount of moving, and hysterical that had both graduates and proud parents engaged and amused.

Dinner that night was spent with each other's (present) family and discussing the next step. The twins were waiting for their acceptance and asking them questions about college. Rhodey was waiting on his physical exam results from the Air Force. Tony has already been accepted for a master's program in Electrical Engineering and Computer Science as he continued taking on jet-aircraft to complete his requirements for NASA.

 

Rhodey finished his requirements and was set to start his RTC pilot program in a few days when Tony called him, crying so bad Rhodey could barely understand him.

"Tony, what's wrong? What happened?"

"Na-... Nasa." his voice was watery and slurry. He was drunk.

"NASA? I thought you weren't applying till you finish your masters?"

"I called to ask, to- fuck, I'm so stupid!"

"Tony, I can't understand if you don't te-"

"I can't apply to NASA," Rhodey was getting seriously worried. Tony wasn't making any sense. "The grant, the money, the one from SI? Howard promised to finance NASA's project and gave them stock. He made it legal, Rhodes! Even in the case of his untimely death, as long as there is SI, NASA will get their money."

"Isn't that good? Now you have connectio-"

"He promised them financial aid in exchange they ban me from-" he was too choked up to finish, but he didn't need to. Rhodey finally got it. That sick fuck.

"THAT SICK FUCK!" Rhodey was furious. How can someone do this to his own kid? Tony worked so hard for SI and gave up so much for the sake of its reputation. For his father's reputation. Tony had once told him that he hoped working for SI on the side was so that he wouldn't have to later. So I won't owe him anything, he had stated as he ate ice cream on the roof of the library in July. It was the only time Tony ever said anything about his father, and he never really specified who "him' was, but it was something.

And now this.

"Where are you?"

"Rhodes, You're leaving in three days! Your mom-"

"I spent all summer with mom and the girls, helping them move into their dorms, my best friend needs me, and I'm going to Manhattan to get arrested for punching a senior citizen."

"I'm at the Jarvis's, I'll send you a car," Tony sounded better.

 

Tony was waiting for him at the gate when he arrived, and he spent a good hour holding him while he cried all over again. He spent the night at his creepy Captain America room practically joined at the hip till Rhodey had to leave for his training.

He hated leaving Tony like this, crushed and bitter. He won't see him for six months.

"Be good, don't do drugs, focus on your degree, and make friends," Tony huffed. "I mean it, Tones. Friends, not friends with benefits for a night. Look out for yourself, man, and keep in touch."

"I will."

"Don't get in trouble."

"I won't, no one interesting to get arrested with."

"I love you, man. Remember that."

"Me too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going on vacation soon and won't be uploading a chapter till July 18 at the earliest.


	9. A Father’s Love  is a Thing of Power

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony took his new gleaming black Audi Coupe GT, a present from Howard after the dinner, and drove to DC first thing in the morning. He left a note to his mom, I'm-meeting-friends-and-staying-over-I'll-call-you-whenever type of note. He thought he could do this; protect their good name, do as he’s told be a good son to his parents. It was stupid, childish and naive, but he had hoped that his dad would be pleased with how good he’d been and would give him his blessings and let him spread his wings. Follow his dream. But then… he can’t do this anymore. Being good and burying his head in the sand is what got him screwed over in the first place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I KNOW you guys want to kill me, but here it is — a chapter. I will work on merging the chapters together over the next few days and upload a new chapter joined with this one soon. The number of the chapters and names will change, and the chapters, as a result, will be longer.

**August 1987**

 

Howard knew that it was a terrible idea. He knew in his heart of hearts that if Maria, Edwin, Peggy, or even Steve knew of what he had done, they would never want anything to do with him again. He was aware of that as he arranged to meet with NASA. Felt sick to his stomach as he was writing up the contract. Drank himself sick after Maria beamed at the Stark/NASA partnership headlining the business and science news. Couldn’t sleep easy after noticing Tony looking at him with such awe whenever he came to visit. But he had still done it anyway. Could he have withdrawn the contract before his son’s graduation? Absolutely. Would he do it? No. Maria and Edwin were too wrapped up in Tony to see the big picture. They have benefited from his empire and genius for decades and don’t realize that it’s been tumbling down for some time now. That their livelihood and those of thousands of employees depend on Tony taking over the legacy. Peggy, just like Cap, is too idealistic. She believes too much in people, but Howard knows that people are selfish beings. 

What he had done was cruel, but it was also done for Tony’s sake in a way. Tony was too much like his mother. Maria had been intelligent and the center of her own world, and the minute she had willingly stepped into his shadow, she had lost herself. If it weren’t for Tony and the foundation named after her, she would have truly been gone. But even those weren’t enough. Tony would lose himself in an organization as big as NASA. He was not made to be a small part of a larger machine; he _was_ the machine. Like Maria, if his name wasn’t all over it, it isn’t his. Maria has to label her belongings and has been growing more obsessed with doing so with time. He buys her custom made things emblazoned with her initials, including her maiden name to please her. And Tony is just the same.

He will see, in time, that it was for him. So will the others. 

 

**September 1987**

Tony thinks he is too young to feel this way. He was a wealthy seventeen-year-old engineering graduate from one of the best universities in the country and on his way to start post-graduate studies. He should be filled with pride and a sense of accomplishment; at least that’s what everyone is saying. _Your parents must be so proud! What’s it like to accomplish so much so young? Leave some for the rest of us!_ It was only the rigorous training he had during his childhood that stopped his friendly public face from slipping and giving away at what was underneath. Tony feels like a trapped animal. His dream was null. What was the point? 

He was dressed to the nines and surrounded by people eighteen years older than him minimum being towed around by his father as a trophy. Howard was making the rounds and introducing him to all the big wigs in the business, his business. Their business. Tony is heartbroken. This man is supposed to love me; he couldn’t help but think. Yet here he is, crushing my dreams underneath his Italian leather 3000 dollar shoes and dragging me around a room full of potential investors while expecting me to be happy about it. Thankful. 

His mom wasn’t with them. The look on her face when Howard said he wanted Tony to accompany him to the Annual Stark Industry dinner will haunt Tony for a long time. She had no clue what Howard had done; Tony was sure of that. She couldn’t have known. Only Jarvis knew why Rhodey had spent three days in the Stark manor in Tony’s room before his ROTC, and Tony had never seen their butler that angry before. Jarvis had marched into Howard’s study the minute he had come from overseas and got into an argument about it that was so bad, Jarvis had resigned.

 His mom had been distraught. No one would tell her what happened or why. She had begged Jarvis to stay, to calm down, and tell her what was wrong. Howard smoked cigars like a chimney and had glass after glass of whiskey, while his wife demanded answers. All she got was, “the man wants to leave, so let’em leave.”

Tony hadn’t looked at his mother, let alone spoken to her since Rhodey, and the Jarvises left. Not for lack of trying on her part. That was two weeks ago.

So when Howard declared he was taking Tony to the dinner, his mother put two and two together. People always assume Tony gets his smarts from Howard; it’s because they don’t know Maria that well. 

“Tony doesn’t have to do anything he doesn’t want to do, Howard,” she said quietly, more to Tony than to Howard. “It’s not like he’s gonna run the company, what with NASA and all.”

His mother was smart. She doesn’t know what’s going on, but she’s going to. And she’s going to make Howard say it. Tony felt guilty for blowing her off for weeks. He remembers her hovering outside his room with a plate of cookies, Anna’s recipe, hoping she would catch him in a mood to talk. He couldn’t tell her that it was his fault, the Jarvises leaving them. He couldn’t speak to her without blaming her for this. He couldn’t help but think that both of them should’ve gone for Hungary when they had the chance. And here she was, still taking his side. 

“All that NASA nonsense was a phase. Tony knows what’s important. Legacy. And he’s going to be a part of it,” Howard took his wife’s hand and kissed it. “I know you find my business partners and investors boring, dear. Tony’s old enough to come with his old man to these events. He is my heir, after all.”

One word and all hell will break loose. He can say no, and his sweet, concerned mother will take his side. Howard will be furious. He’ll push him, or worse, strike him even. His mom would leave Howard. She’ll take him and go, and they will be the talk of the nation. His father will blame him for everything, but he’ll get to be with his mom and the Jarvises. 

She would do it, of that he was sure. If he told his mother right now what Howards had done, NASA, his designs, his hand, the whiskey, she would leave and take him with her. But he couldn’t. His parents loved each other; it was him that divided them. His presence, his very existence. He remembers walking in on them in the sitting room, heads close, and his mother’s hand in Howard’s while his father traced her knuckles lovingly. His mother would look so serene. Then he steps into the room, and the air is immediately charged. It’s like she can’t be a wife and a mother at the same time. But if it came to a choice, she’d choose him, and they all knew it.

It was why they had sent him away so young; he had come to realize. To save their marriage, to stop the fights. The picturesque couple during the academic year, loving mother and hardworking father during the summer. A family during Christmas. It’s not an ideal situation but a functional one, at the very least. One word and the house of cards comes tumbling down. 

His mother loves Howard. And he loves his mother, even though he had been shitty to her for the last two weeks. It’s the only thing that he and his father agree on.

“I’ll go, mom,” his voice shook, and his mother noticed. “Look at my options.” his mother looked betrayed. Disappointed. 

His father got him a Rolex and an appointment to the best tailor the next day. 

And here he was. In a party full of old windpipes stuck to Obbi’s side like glue and watching his father do the show and dance he was most famous for. He drank his martini and tried not to think about his future or his mother at home alone without Anna or J for company ...

“He’s quite the showman, your father,” Obbi whispered. The man is always loud and booming; it’s still weird when he whispered. “He’s smart, good looking, and charming, but it’s his showmanship that’s impressive.”

Tony wants to tell Obbi to put a big fat sock in it. He is not in the mood to discuss Howard’s greatness. He wants to soak in his reality in alcohol and find the strength not to set SI on fire. He was about to make an excuse and leave when Obbi carried on, seemingly unaware by how tense Tony was.

“But he’s old now. Too old to be doing the pony show without lookin’ like a loon and too drunk to think of anything good,” Tony stilled. “He knows it too. He stopped trying to outthink the competition and started to outsource. Invested in impressionable young people who desperately need a father figure. They get to work for their hero, and he gets all the credit, sounds familiar?”

The room suddenly ran out of air. He was hot, and the martini he was pretending was sparkling water tasted like acid in his mouth. 

“I heard about NASA. I’m sorry, kiddo, I had no idea,” Obbi squeezed his shoulder tightly, and Tony felt tears prickling his eyes. Howard was talking to a group of men in military uniforms who laughed at something he said. _Fuck you_. “It’s terrible, what he did, but I know why he did it. Don’t look at me like that, boss boy. I said I knew why not that I agree.”

“He hates me.” it was the first time he ever said it out loud, and it felt right. True. His father is indifferent at his best and hates him at his most. Tolerates him when he’s useful and pretends he doesn’t exist when he’s not. 

“No, he doesn’t. He’s scared of ya’, kiddo,”  he took a swing of his scotch and smacked his lips. Tony had always thought that was hilarious when he was little, so Obbi would exaggerate the lip-smacking until his mom hits them both over their head. It made him smile now when he did it, and Obbi knew it. “He thought he was the Einstein of the century; then his kid shows him up. Your old man grew up dirt poor with too many siblings and had to claw, fight, and charm his way up. He had to convince the army he knew how to make things go boom to get a break and the upper class that he was Midas and can make money with his fingertips to be included. He built his fortune, his legacy on the idea that no one can do the things he does, then his son shows him up at the age of four,” Obi shook his head. “Terrified. He slaved over his company, his legacy, and if NASA has you, he’s yesterday’s news.”

There was a bartender that was looking at him from across the room. College student, maybe. He was cleaning a glass while trying to catch his eye from the bar. Tony took another sip. 

“I was gonna get married.”

“What?”

“You remember, Lori?” Tony did. She had been friendly and oddly matched Obi, tall thin headmistress look that complemented Obi’s looming booming warm uncle look. At Tony’s nod, he continues. “She had a big break, but it’s in Florida. I coulda’ gone with her, but what’s in Florida?” he shook his head like the idea was ludicrous. “I stayed for SI. Your father likes to call himself a futurist, but he can’t see past his failings. You, young man, are the true futurist. Your old man has a wild imagination, a visionary, but he ain’t got what it takes to make it happen.”

“And I do?” 

“I didn’t call ya boss boy for nothing, kid. I stayed because SI will dominate; _you_ will dominate, and I want front row seats.”

Tony’s heart felt full. He looked at Howard, making his rounds and hated him so much. Why is it that his father’s business partner was the one to be proud of him, to believe in him. Why can’t Howard sit down with him and say _I don’t want you to go to NASA because I need someone I trust to carry my company. Someone that would make me proud._ He would have done it, gave up on his dream, or made it a side project. If his father looked him in the eye and talked to him without giving orders or criticizing … he would have done it. But Howard had to be cruel, had to make sure Tony had nowhere else to go, but SI, force instead of asking. 

At dinner, his father made a speech. _Blah blah, legacy. Blah blah future. Blah blah investment. Blah blah, Tony_ \- wait, _Tony_?! Fuck, he should’ve been paying attention instead of ogling the hot bartender. People are looking at him and smiling. Smile back… the bartender has a cherry in his mouth, _shit!_

People are raising their glasses. Toast time. Thank god, it’s over.

“To Stark Industries, to its investors, and it's future. Cheers!” the crowd cheered, and the bartender raised an empty glass to Tony. Rhodey did tell him to make friends… 

“I guess congratulations are in order,” Obbi nudged him and tipped his head at the direction to whoever had just spoken before leaving to have a word with Howard. “My, my! What an accomplished young man you are. MIT, correct?”

“Yes, sir. I’m starting my graduate studies this year.”

“No wonder why Director Carter likes you so much,” that piqued Tony’s interest. “Alexander Pierce.” giving Tony his hand to shake. The man was in his mid-thirties and military dress — a tall, strapping blond man with cold baby blue eyes and laugh lines around his mouth. Tony shook his hand and while trying to place the man.

“You know, Aunt Peggy?”

“Aunt Peg-? Oh! The Director, yes. I work for her,” he took a seat next to Tony and leaned closer to whisper conspiratorially “I recognized you from your picture. On her desk. She loves singing your praises, and she ain’t easy to impress.”

Tony squirmed. He wants to be across the room where the bar is, not with a Captain America knock off who works for a super-secret agency with his godmother. 

“Well, she never mentioned you, so…” Tony replied casually while cramming his head to try to glimpse the cute bartender.

Pierce barked out a surprised laugh, clearly caught off guard, and attracting the attention of the crowd (Howard). Shit. He’s coming over. 

“I can see why she likes you. You’re sharp and too smart for this,” he waved his hand around, indicating everyone and everything. “You should be investing your time on better things. Bigger things,” someone intercepted Howard before reaching them, but it won’t be long before he reached them. “It was nice talking to you, Mr. Stark.” the man got up and shook hands with a tense Howard giving Tony the opening he needed to find Hot Bartender and ditch this snoozefest.

He blew Hot Bartender in the back of his car and took him home where he got screwed facing his Captain America poster. 

He woke up to find himself littered in hickies and his bed partner, Jeff (or was it Joseph?), gone.

He found his mom at the breakfast table holding a newspaper she was not reading.

“You seem to have enjoyed yourself last night,” his mother said evenly. “The boy seemed nice, a little too old for you, perhaps, but nice.” Tony took the coffee she handed him without looking her in the eyes. He did not want their first conversation since _that_ to be about his sex life! 

“Mom, I-”

“Are you careful, dear?” her lips were pulled, and her jaw was too tight “there is a disease that’s killing people, bambino!” she was trying not to cry. “I love you more than anything, but darling, I can’t save you from yourself. Have fun, enjoy life, but promise me that you will be _safe_. I-”

Oh. Oh, shit! His mom is crying, worrying herself sick because he’s an idiot that’s bringing boys home, and his shenanigans are all over the tabloids. He was out of his seat and hugging her close.

“I swear that I have been safe, mom, and I’m planning on staying so. Mom, please, just- I’m sorry for being difficult lately. I’m sorry I made you worry.”

“I just wish you would tell me these things, you don’t tell me anything!” she hiccupped between sobs. He was in deep turd territory, alright. “It was alright before because at least Jarvis was there, but now …” she seemed to pull herself together and dab at her face. “Look at me making a mess and ruining breakfast. I should be asking you about your night! How was your night, precious?”

“Boring. I wished you were there.”

“These affairs usually are,” she passed her son some toast and sipped her tea. “Howard wants to give you a position in R&D. the investors were impressed by you and would be more inclined to sign contracts knowing that you were involved.”

“I-”

“You don’t have to accept, dear, and Howard can’t make you.”

“But I do have to! I- our whole life depends on SI; other people’s lives depend on it. I can’t ju-”

“Anthony,” she took his hand in both of hers. “Don’t do it for him or me, do it for yourself. Go to NASA, like you always dreamed.”

“I _can’t_ ,” he felt like crying. God, if only she would leave it that. If only. “mom, please I-”

“I could talk to your father, convince him to take projects with NASA! it-”

“Good morning! What’s going on?”

Howard. Great.

“I was just telling Tony about the investors' reaction last night,” she cupped his cheek and deflected smoothly. “I’m so proud of you, dear.”

“You disappeared on me last night, some of them wanted to ‘pick your brain’ and talk shop,” he sat down and took the paper his wife passed him. “Where’d ya go, kid?” he asked smoothly.

“I came home early and went straight to bed.” it wasn't a complete lie, he did precisely that — sort of.

“In our business, after-dinner drinks and cigars are where the real business is done. You should’ve-”

“Our business?” Tony asked, innocently.

“It’s gonna be yours, so might as well be a part of it. Officially.”

“Howard, he’s seventeen-”

“He needs to be ready-”

“ _You_ need to stop interrupting me when I'm speaking!”

And there it was. From loving husband and wife to enemies. This is what he does to them. He shouldn’t tell his mom. He can’t.

“Is it gonna interfere with my studies?” apparently, that was the right thing to say because Howard practically beamed at him. It occurred to Tony that he had never seen Howard look at like that before. Huh. Why did it make him feel like toxic waste, then? 

“Of course not. I got you a place in Boston, better than that old apartment, and has a warehouse next to it you can use as a workshop. It even has a garage! You’ll be dealing through Obbi and have to fly here every other month. You can stop by the house and keep your mother company when you do.”

The _since the Jarvises are gone_ was left unsaid. He excused himself and went upstairs and made a phone call.

 

Tony took his new gleaming black Audi Coupe GT, a present from Howard after the dinner, and drove to DC first thing in the morning. He left a note to his mom, I'm-meeting-friends-and-staying-over-I'll-call-you-whenever type of note. He thought he could do this, protect their good name, do as he’s told be a good son to his parents. It was stupid, childish, and naive, but he had hoped that his dad would be pleased with how good he’d been and would give him his blessings and let him spread his wings. Follow his dream. But then NASA, Jarvis, the house (and warehouse), the dinner, the watch, the SI position, and now the car… he can’t do this anymore. Being good and burying his head in the sand is what got him screwed over in the first place.

It would be alright. If there was one person that could talk some sense into Howard without pulling his family apart, it was Aunt Pegg. She had said to come to her, that she could help. Life without Jarvis was unbearable as it is, but his mom was quiet all the time, and he’s been sad and sentimental while Howard showered them both with expensive gifts to try to make light of the situation. Something had to be done.

He arrived at the address Daniel gave him, he said to tell the security his name and that he was there for director Carter. Easy enough. It’s not like the enormous gray building wasn’t terrifying and had a you-go-in-but-you-don’t-get-out-alive vibe to it. It’ll be fine.

He dressed up for the occasion. His hair was styled, and he had on a neon pink Polo shirt with khaki pants and a black blazer and black sunglasses and shoes to match. You know, professional and subtle. He was aiming for rich spoiled godson visiting his loving boss, lady godmother.

He was nervous and seriously considered turning around and running for it at the security station when way too handsome for his age and damn his eyes are blue Alexander Pierce made eye contact with him and headed his way.

“It’s alright, Jeff, he’s here for the director. Isn’t that so, Mr. Stark?” Pierce asked, pleasantly.

“Tony’s, just fine. Mr. Stark is my mother.”

Pierce spluttered a surprised laugh, why are people surprised he had a sense of humor? And beckoned him to follow his lead.

“You’re something, alright. I’ll take you to see the director. She’s at a meeting at the moment, but it should be over soon enough. I’ve gotta say, I didn’t expect to bump into you so soon.”

“I thought I’d say hi to dear old Aunty before I had to go back to Boston, maybe grab lunch. What should I call you, by the way? Pierce? Agent? Captain? Lexy?”

“Lexy?”

“Lexy, it is then.”

“No! Not Lex- just Pierce is fine,” he was looking at Tony with an amused perplexity that was better than the usually disappointing disdain he got from older men (Howard) as he leads him to a glass elevator. He pressed the top level, and his suit jacket sleeve rose up a bit, showing bruises around his wrist — dark, painful stripes of bruises. Pierce noticed him staring and gave a casual shrug. “Occupational hazard.” Right.

They reached the top level in silence and found Director Sousa-Carter at her secretary’s desk explaining something. She looked up and beamed at them.

“Daniel mentioned that you might be stopping by this week, but I wouldn’t believe it till I’d seen it.”

“I’m a terrible godson.”

“No, you are not. You are a busy godson who’s too impatient to grow up at a normal pace like all the other boys. I see you’ve met Alexander Pierce.”

“Oh, yeah! Lexy’s been great.” Aunt Pegg said nothing about while ‘Lexy’ spluttered a bit. Serves him right. Tony never knew that he had a secret desire to make all American type, match military men look less refined till he met Lexy, and decided that he might be a natural at it. He had him barf up a laugh twice and sputter three times now. 

“Come inside, and I’ll make some tea. Thank you, agent, that would be all.” Her transition of loving godmother to the terrifying boss was breathtaking. Pierce gave a slight nod to them and left.

Tony got another glimpse of his bruise and finally recognized the shape. A handgrip. It must have been one hell of a handgrip to make bruises that severe, but what does he know? It could be a kink of good old Lexy. Either way, not his business.

Aunt Peggy’s office was spacious and had an entire glass wall overlooking DC. The walls had medals and certificates, and the desk had pictures of Daniel and her kids, of the Jarvises, him, and his parents with the Sousa’s. He was getting second thoughts again.

What was he doing? Peggy was Howard’s friend. They worked together, what if she told- “Are you alright, Anthony?” She asked, too knowingly as she gave him a steaming cup of herbal tea. Jarvis used to make him the same one, said it was good for your nerves. Relaxing.

God, he hated that question. What did it mean? What was he supposed to say? That his world is falling apart and he wants to run over his father with his new shiny Audi? He couldn’t tell her that. He could say he was just here to say hi and leave after tea…

 

“A secret for a secret.”

He could see Aunt Peggy tensing up. She stiffly sat on one of the two seats facing each other in front of her desk instead of going behind it, motioning for him to sit across from her. Last chance to bail. He took the offered seat and breathed a sigh.

“What do you really do? Exactly.”

“I run an international information agency that’s sole purpose is detecting possible threats of the … unusual, let’s say and eliminating them. We shield the public.”

“How unusual?”

“It’s your turn, dear. You know how this works.”

“Jarvis left. Because of me.”

“You mean because of Howard.”

“You know?”

“Edwin called me. I’ve set him up in a lovely estate in Boston,” Tony’s heart was doing a funny squeezing thing while his throat decided to close up and burn up. Jarvis was in Boston. “A quaint little flat close to a university. Anna likes it very much; says the air is deliciously crisp.”

Jarvis didn’t leave him. He could feel the hot tears rolling down his cheeks. He should be embarrassed; he always ended up crying in front of Aunt Pegg, but he was too relieved to think of anything else. Jarvis didn’t leave.

“Jarvis didn’t mention why he left the manor.” She handed him a tissue and waited for him. It was good that he came here.

“Howard banned me from NASA for life. He paid them never to allow me to set foot in the place. He made it clear that he’d do this to every and any establishment that would consider hiring me other than SI. Jarvis found out, and they fought. I don’t know what they said, but Jarvis left, and mom is a mess! He’s been buying both me and my mom gifts nonstop since then. Is it to shut me up? Apologize? To make it worth my while? I don’t know. I don’t understand him, Aunt Pegg! He _loves_ Jarvis!” His voice had been growing increasingly thick. “He’s supposed to love _me_ … why would he-“ Aunt Pegg hugged him tightly. He cried on her shoulder while she cooed. He should be embarrassed, but it felt so good to be comforted by a reliable adult. By someone who cared for him, and that could _fix_ this!

“Does Maria know?”

“No! Promise you won’t tell her, please!”

“Why on earth not? Anthony, your mother, should-“ 

“Please, don’t!” Maybe this was a bad idea. He shouldn’t have said anything. Jarvis was in Boston, and he would have come over or called when the semester began. “A secret for a secret, I think we’re done here.” He got up to leave or at least tried.

“Anthony Edward Stark, you will sit down this instant,” fuck. He sat down and looked at the desk instead of his angry godmother. There was a picture of a feather of a man, blonde hair with a strong jaw, and a bony collar bone visible above his too big white t-shirt. It was Steve Rogers, he realized, before the serum. The men around him dwarfed him, yet he was the one chosen. “As an organization, we specify in advance borderline supernatural technology and threats that are not of this earth. That’s what I meant with ‘unusual.’ Now tell me why we should keep your mother in the dark?”

He relaxed into the chair until-

“Borderline supernatural and not of this _earth_?!? What does that mean?”

“A secret for a secret, love.”

“She’d leave. Howard would never let her have me. He’d blame me.”

“Anthony,” she asked, in the same manner, someone might speak to an injured kitten, softly and a bit fearful the feline would flee. “Are you afraid of your father?”

“What does supernatural and not of this earth mean?”

“Alien.”

“Yes.”

Aunt Peggy took a shuddering breath and touched the tips of her fingers to her eyes. She’s tearing up. Tony’s gaze fell on the floor. The carpet had a square pattern that was boring, honestly, but better than watching the strongest person you know, crying over how pathetic you are. So, squares it is.

“Anthony, darling,” her voice was thick and watery. She had to stop to clear her throat. Tony wanted to drive his Audi over a cliff. “He can’t hurt you; I won’t allow it-“ 

“He already did.” He hadn’t meant to say it out loud; he really hadn’t. It’s just that he was sick of empty promises. His mother swore Howard couldn’t control him, but he did anyway. Jarvis left, and so had Aunt Pegg. He wasn’t here for promises; he came here for a solution.

“What do you mean? What has he done?” Aunt Pegg sounded panicked. He didn’t answer, opting to look at the multi cool shades of blue of the squares on the floor and making an equation that would result in how many squares are in the office. 2788.

“Anthony, di- we have located extraterrestrial artifacts that, if fallen into the wrong hands, could be weaponized. Your father’s science and technology division specializes in studying and neutralizing them as well as outfitting our agents with the best and most advanced tech. What has Howard done, dear?” She was on her knees in front of him, trying to catch his eye.

“After Vienna, he-“ just thinking back was making him nauseous. He could smell the whiskey and feel it going down the wrong pipe and into his lungs. “He saw pictures from the summer, and he- he wasn’t happy about it.”

“What did he do? Anthony?”

“He made me drink a bottle of whiskey. The whole thing, to make me a man, I guess …” he was shaking, god it was years ago. Howard seemed so tall back then, looming over him. “I asked him to stop, but… He wouldn’t stop until I-“ Aunt Peggy looked pale. She looked like she didn’t know what to do with her hands. She made three aborted attempts to touch him then finally settled on grabbing his fists tightly.

“I don’t know what to do, Aunt Pegg. I tried. I’ve worked for SI since I was _twelve_! I put my summers in it when I could’ve been goofing off with people my age. I don’t _have_ friends my age who aren’t attached to a manager and are only hanging out with me for publicity! I know my way around SI’s factories and storages better than I do at my _university._ I did my part, why can’t he let me go!” it felt good, blurting it. Letting it air, as Glenda used to say. But now it’s hanging in the air for him and everyone to see. He was truly pathetic.

“I’ll speak to Howard. Anthony, look at me! Don-”

“It’s too late. NASA would never take me. Not after the deal,” he sighed, finally out of energy. He felt old. He finally understood what Rhodey meant when he said he was way too old for a kid his age. “‘I don’t know why I came here, there’s nothing you can do. It’s just losing Jarvis was-” he didn’t want to continue this thought or this conversation for that matter. He wanted to sleep. He hadn’t slept well since Jarvis left, except for that night after the dinner. 

“He could’ve just asked. Aunt Peg, why couldn’t he just asked me not to go to NASA?”

“Remember when I told you I committed treason for your father? Well, he was accused of selling high-grade weaponry to the enemy when the truth was; someone had broken into his vault and helped themselves with everything in it,” Tony was confused on how that has to do with anything they were talking about, but listened anyway. “He had been obsessed with retrieving this one small atomic bomb core, as he called it. I risked my career, got an innocent woman killed, and burned all my bridges for Howard’s sake. To clear his name and retrieve the core. Can you guess what happened?”

“It wasn’t an atomic bomb core?”

“No, it wasn’t. It was the last vial of Steve’s blood. He could have told me, and I would have still helped him, but he hadn’t. Howard has this idea that being honest and forthcoming will result in rejection. What he did was wrong, but unfortunately, it’s the only way he knows how to do things.”

Tony couldn’t help but think that this conversation was as helpful as those therapy sessions he had in his younger years. Nothing was being done nor fixed, just airing out feelings and sharing information that was getting him nowhere. Tony was a doer, and coming here has done nothing but let him know that aliens exist, and his dad always has a dick. _What a shocker._ Aunt Pegg can’t help him the same way Jarvis and his mother couldn’t. He should leave. 

“Thank you, Aunt Pegg, for seeing me; I know you are busy-”

“Nonsense, dear!! I’m never too busy for you. And besides, I haven’t shown you the alien artifact yet.”

“You’d … show it to me?!” Tony was stunned. 

“Howard had been studying it religiously for years,” Aunt Peggy continued, seemingly oblivious to his reaction. “I can show you his research, as well. Maybe let you see the labs so you could show me which one you like best.”

That sounded awesome, but… “why would I choose a lab?”

“To work in, of course,” Tony still looked confused, so his aunt took pity on him and finally, and rather smugly, clarified “instead of working for NASA and flying to the moon as the furthest, how about studying extraterrestrials and alien technology? Anthony Stark, would you like to work with Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement, and Logistics Division?”

“Why-”

“You don’t want to work in SI, I take it, but you can't work for NASA,” she said matter of factly “you are one of if not the, brightest minds in this century and not recruiting you seems like a colossal oversight. You will start with minor self-defense training and will have a position in research and development. You are already trained in firearms but will be required to keep in practice. Your position will be part-time until you finish your studies and decide whether to continue with us or not. What do you say?”

“Yes.”

 


	10. Cosmic love affair

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Howard is confronted by Peggy and Tony learns something about himself and possibly the cosmos while missing his best friend.

**November 1987**

 

Howard Stark found his son in one of the S.H.I.E.L.D. labs reading his notes on the Tesseract while Peggy and Dr. Wendy Lawson discussed if Tony could visit her lab in Los Angeles to study the Tesseract himself. 

Tony was supposed to be in Massachusetts. He'd refused to do any work for S.I. because he had 'too much on his plate'. Maria had told Howard to back off and let the boy study.  _ He doesn't  _ want  _ to work part-time, Howard _ . But here he is, with not enough on his plate to distract him from getting his hands on his life's work it seems. 

Howard was furious.

He had marched to Peggy's office right after to get some damn answers and what he found there was… not what he had expected.

"Howard, good, I was just about to come to find you. I-"

"Peggy, what the hell is Tony doing here and with my research-"

"Don't you dare take that tone with me, Howard! Your son is here because I, as the director of S.H.I.E.L.D., have invited him and recruited him."

"You did WHAT!? How could you tell my son-"

"The same way you banned him pursuing his dreams, behind your back. Yes, I know what you did, Howard. Jarvis came to me after he left the manor. Recruiting Tony had always occurred to me, but out of respect for you and his protection, I never mentioned it nor followed through. Seeing as I no longer have any respect for you and that Tony is clearly not safe anywhere around you, I have extended an invitation to him and offered him a part-time position and recruit training to which he accepted."

"He is my son and a minor; you had no right-"

"He was a minor when you beat him a- don't look at me like that, Howard, I know you did! He was a minor when you used him and stole his work, a minor when you forced a bottle of drink down his throat!" she was shaking at this point, all the composer was gone. He had never seen her this rattled and unsettled in decades. "You gave me your  _ word _ that you would never hurt Maria or Tony ever again. I  _ believed  _ you, like a fool! All I wanted was to believe in you as you believed in me, to be the one person in a sea of hundreds that stand with and support you as you did for me all those years back. What I ended up doing was blindly believe your lies as your family suffered. I could never forgive myself…" her voice was too thick, and her throat burned. She couldn't stand the sight of him.

"Peg, I… don't, please! This isn't your fault-"

"You're right, it's yours! You should be ashamed of yourself! He should come to you, his father, for protection! And now I have to protect him from you of all people!"

Howard's face paled.

"Peg, you can't possibly believe I would do such things!"

"No, I would never in a million years have believed it until you told me yourself you struck Maria. I would have defended your honor if I hadn't walked on you towering over a bloodied Tony. I would have stood by you if Edwin hadn't walked away from you after years of a devoted and loyal friendship. The truth is, Howard, you are not the man I once knew. I have come to terms with that and will be acting on it from now on. 

For now, my godson will intern, train, and conduct research. If he wishes to continue, Anthony will join as a full recruit when he's eighteen. He will not work for you unless he wants to, Howard. I promised Anthony not to speak a word of this to Maria, but I think you should confess your sins yourself."

Howard knows a dismissal when he hears one and lets himself out. He passes by the labs and sees Tony on the floor with Dr. Lawson's Tabby abomination of a cat while Wendy is explaining an engine blueprint she is proposing for N.A.S.A. Tony looked so child-like that Howard was momentarily stunned. He had never seen his son with a pet. He was in school by the age of six and barely home long enough to own or raise a pet. He had never asked for one either.

 The last time he saw him on the floor like this was when he caught him playing with his toy trains in his study. Howard had stepped on one of them and found Tony peeking from behind his desk. Howard had thrown a fit, Tony cried. He remembered Jarvis making excuses for him. He remembers telling Maria to throw away the toys, that his son was too old for them and Maria looking at him like he had grown a second head. He's _ eight, Howard. _

He remembered scoffing at his wife and accusing her of babying their son, but looking at him right now with an armful of an orange cat that was licking his nose, a shirt too bright to be worn in daylight and/or in public while talking a mile a minute shook him to the core. Tony looked like he should be at school mooning over a cheerleader. But he was way past school now. He is in classes with students four years older than him minimum. He had never had friends his age, according to Maria, and now he sees why that used to upset her. Tony was on the floor of a secret government organization discussing highly classified alien technology while kids his age are worrying about prom.

Tony looked up from the notes he was reading and caught his father staring at him and paled. _ He's afraid of me, _ Howard realized. His son has never asked him for anything. Not for a pet, or a ballgame, or a car because he was afraid... All his son ever wanted was to be an astronaut and get as far away from him as possible, and he had made sure that never happens because…he had failed.

He failed to save Steve. Then he failed to find him. He failed to recreate him. Then he failed to win the next war. He found the love of his life then failed her too. He took out his failures on his too bright son who won't fail like his father. His son won't fail because he was smarter, younger, more vibrant, and stronger than his father. Howard knew his time was up and wanted to build a legacy for himself, a legacy that could never be questioned, and he  _ needed _ Tony for that. Someone with the Stark name and brilliance to carry the torch. But he took it too far.

His son was barely eighteen, and Howard was emerald green with envy and hot with shame and self-loathing.

Tony got up and came over to him, orange menace in tow. 

"Hi, Dad." he was standing with his back straight, and the cat hugged to his chest. The cat was looking at him intently and, if he was honest with himself, unnervingly. Can cats eat your face? This one seems like it wants to find out.

On closer inspection, the boy was trying to grow a mustache. Pitiful wisps of hair scattered on his top lip. He'll grow it soon enough; he is part Italian after all.

"Sir."

"Wha-"

"At work, you will refer to me as 'sir'. Here I'm your boss, not your father."

"You've always been my boss," grumbled Tony.

"What was that?"

"Nothing," he adjusted the cat that decided to perch on his shoulders like an oversized pirate's Perot and hastily added "sir".

  
  


After that, he and his son have barely spoken. Tony told his mother about interning at S.H.I.E.L.D. and his studies, and Howard took to the bottle and ignoring his son as much as he could. That is until December 8th, when a video of Tony snorting cocaine and tangled with naked bodies, both male and female, was all over the late-night scoop channels making the stocks drop by early noon.  _ That _ , Howard,  _ cannot _ ignore.

 

**December 7th, 1987**

 

Tony woke up with the sun in his face and feeling too warm. He was hungover, naked, and in a large bed with three other naked people who were also hungover and naked. Huh. He didn't know what day it was or how long have they been at it, but boy have they been at it! 

_ Tony had gone to L.A. to meet up with Dr. Larson and examine the cube last week. That night, he attended a movie premiere and met a pretty actress who invited him to a party at a friend's house in Malibu the next day. That was when he ran into none other than Ty Stone, who was studying his Masters in CalTech in hopes of starting his own company. He looked stunning, and Tony couldn't help but swoon. Ty always had that effect on him. He always had a crush on him, and why wouldn't he? Tan California skin and bleached hair making his icy blue eyes as bright as the ocean in the midday sun and a bright smile. They talked and drank. Ty asked him to dance and couldn't keep his hands off him. _

_ "I missed you, Antony," he whispered in his ear. "I want you. I've always wanted you." _

_ And just like that, Tony was his. All those years at school, Tony never cared about what others thought of him, about being popular or liked as Ty did, and Tony realized now it was because he already had all the attention he wanted; he had Ty's. Ty always wanted more. More than skinny tiny Tony. It was what pushed Tony to compete with him; he wanted his attention. He finally got it. _

_ They went back to Ty's place and didn't sleep until it was almost noon. Ty thought it was amusing. _

_ "Man, you are something else in bed, Tony!" he said as he took out a metal case from his bedside eight hours after going at it like cats in heat. "How have you not been arrested for indecent behavior yet?" _

_ "I'm only indecent for you, Caesar," and it was true. Before, he didn't like doing anything public because it drew too much attention. Not to mention Rhodey never agreed to it. He wouldn't say anything about it, but he knew he didn't like it, so he didn't sleep with as many people. Rhodey isn't here now, though, and Ty wasn't any random person. Speaking of Ty, Tony watched as Ty took a coke line and asked softly, "Is it good?" _

_ "You telling me a New York yuppy like you never did coke?" _

_ "I'm seventeen." _

_ "You had sex when you were, like,  _ twelve! _ Come here and meet god, gorgeous. You'll be unstoppable."  _

_ Coke was great. It wasn't like the cannabis he and Rhodey used to smoke during assignment week to relax. It didn't slow things up, nor did it blur it out like alcohol. Coke made everything sharper and stronger. More focused and intense. It makes him feel invincible like he can fly. _

_ It also made sex a religious experience no mortal man was worthy of. _

_ He had to leave Ty for work on the morning of the 3rd, promising to meet him that night for dinner. He drove to the military base and met  _

_ Dr. Larson in her lab there to study the Tesseract. _

_ It was the most mesmerizing artifact Tony had ever seen. Tony felt tears welling up in his eyes; it _ _ was an actual alien artifact! It was the artifact that Hydra used for their cause; the one Captain America died to keep away from the wrong hands.  _

_ The one that Howard used elements to construct his gigantic decorative Arc Reactor that has saved Stark Industries from plummeting after the Vietnam war, according to his notes. Huh.  _

_ He poked and prodded, and threw things at the glowing alien cube in the name of science under the watchful (and amused) eyes of Dr. Wendy Larson and Goose. A Danvers and Lambeau came by with lunch and after looking appropriately confused at A) Tony Stark, being here and B) what Tony Stark was  _ doing _ here, joined Tony in the throwing of things. It was only when Carol (Danvers) playfully tossed a screwdriver (aimed at Tony) and hit the corner of the cube that something happened.  _

_ The cube glowed brighter and brighter till it was blinding and a small, football-sized, portal showing a scattering of the night sky opened right next to Tony. _

_ Several odd things happened at once. _

_ The portal called out to Tony, like a voice in his head, urging him to touch the opening while Maria held back a screaming Carol from lunging at either Tony or the portal. Dr. Wendy ran to the computer while Goose hissed and leaped at Tony, pushing him away from the portal seconds before he touched it. _

_ Everything stopped. _

_ The power went out, leaving nothing but the faint glow of the Tesseract to illuminate the room. Carol was pale and shaking in Maria's arms, both spent and slumped on the floor a few feet away from Tony who is now flat on his back with stars in his eyes from smacking his head on the tile floor, and a pissed off heavy cat on his chest pinning him to the ground.    _

_ The only sound in the room was the heavy breathing of the occupant, the faint humming of the Tesseract, and the low growl of Goose, who is still on top of Tony. _

_ The power came back, and Dr. Larson put the cube back in it's large wooden case. She looked ashen and grave faced. _

_ "What. Was that?!" asked Carol. "Was that space? Did we just open a portal to space?" _

_ "Carol-" _

_ "Are you alright, Tony?" Dr. Wendy asked, ignoring the girls in favor of checking on him. She crouched down and pulled the still growling cat off him and softly asked: "Did it speak to you?" _

_ At that moment, Dr. Wendy Larson looked odd. Her face was close to his, and her irises were too black. Her skin had a bluish sheen to it, or was that the glow of the cube? But the cube was in a wooden crate. Why wooden?  _

_ "Did you hear it, too, Doc?" _

_ "I heard something like it a long time ago." _

_ "Dr. Larson, what just happened?" Maria asked while Carol grumbled something about screwing up space portals. _

_ "The cube is a power source. What you all saw wasn't a portal; it was powerful energy waves emitting from the cube. It's why the power went out. I'm hoping to make an engine using similar technology." Carol and Maria seemed to buy it, but not Tony. He was the closest to it when it had happened, he saw the stars, and he had heard the voice. And so had Dr. Wendy at some point studying it but failed to include it in her notes. _

_ "That's enough excitement for today. It's late! You crazy kids go have dinner and leave my cat and me to my old lady ways." the girls laughed, but Tony was stuck on two words: late and dinner. Shit _ !

_ "I have to go! Dr. Wendy, I'll call you later. Carol, Maria, nice to meet you! Look out for a James Rhodes in the academy. Bye!" _

_ It was almost 11:30 when he made it back to Ty's. He knocked on the door and waited. He can feel a bump forming at the back of his head from his fall and debated on whether or not he should tell Ty what happened when the door opened. Ty was in nothing but a robe and smelled of sex.  _

_ Tony felt small. _

_ "Oh, so you're finally here." _

_ "Ty, I'm sorry! I lost track of time and didn't-" _

_ "Didn't what? Didn't think of me? Didn't think to call? Didn't think I'd find someone else?" _

_ "I'm sorry." _

_ "Yeah, you look it," he stood draped in the doorway considering a fidgeting Tony before he finally said, "Have you ever had a threesome?" _

_ And just like that, all is forgiven. Day in, day out, they partied at clubs and took women home with them for drugs and sex while also attracting the paparazzi and attention of Hollywood's A-listers.Tony had to buy the drugs because Ty was saving up for his company while Ty had to buy the drinks for obvious reasons. Tony had written up notes for his thesis and the Tesseract between dalliances with Ty and partying with Hollywood stars. _

_ Ty didn't see him as a kid that had to be coddled. He treated him as an equal, and Tony couldn't get enough of it. He would have Ty one on one or with one or more people in between. It was hard to say no to Ty, so Tony doesn't bother. _

 

Checking to see what day and time it was, it was 10:30 am Wednesday, December 7th. Tony had a meeting with Dr. Wendy again this afternoon. He left a note for Ty and went for his place to get ready and change. He had hardly used his rented studio since he met Ty at that party. 

He worked at the lab with Goose close at his heels all day. He kept trying to ask Dr. Wendy about the voice and her bullshit story about energy waves but couldn't do so with Carol and Maria around.

"What is up with Goose? Why is she following you around? Didn't she hate you the other day?"

"She likes me, is all."

He went out with the girls for karaoke and dinner and worked all night at the lab. The cube was behaving and didn't pull any weird tricks. He fell asleep on top one tables with Goose lying down next to him. 

He woke up missing Rhodey so badly, it ached. Maybe it was waking up on a lab table that brought it all up and reminded him of M.I.T. nights. It physically hurt not just to call Rhodey and talk about Ty, Dr. Larson, Goose, Carol, and Maria. It was almost as if the cat could sense his mood because it nuzzled and licked his face comfortingly. 

He wasn't happy.

He had had a wonderful week in L.A. and met amazing people and got the chance of a lifetime studying a rare piece of unheard-of technology while partying like he never partied before. He doesn't understand his current state of misery. 

He was still contemplating his maudlin mood when Carol walked in with a cup of coffee and a strange look on her face. She handed over his coffee and sat at the table as he took his first sips. Carol is a confident in-your-face kinda girl, so it was off-putting seeing her fidget.

"Did you need anything or…" maybe she needs a favor. People get like that when they want something from him. His headspace is so weird today, it's leaking into the atmosphere!

"Tony… did you see the news?" the news? 

"No, I've been here all night and just woke up, Space Face. why?"

"There is a video that came out last night on TMT. It's all, everyone. It is talking about it; it's even in the news… you are in it."

"A video?"

"Yeah, a video." At first, he didn't get it till he did. Three days ago. Ty, a lot of weed and crack, the cute bar boys whose shifts were ending soon, and those girls Ty promised to hook them up with Ty's amateur filmmaker friend who will be joining them. With his camera.  _ Shit! _

It was awful. Carol almost got into five different fights escorting Tony to his car because the guys kept making lewd passes and gestures at him. Thank goodness for Maria, or Carol could've been suspended.

Ty checked out of his hotel and won't answer his calls, and the paparazzi were practically glued to his ass now. Jarvis called him to check if he was okay. He wasn't. His mom called, she was understanding and reassuring and carefully not mentioning Howard. Howard never called. He just sent the jet with a note to come home in time for Christmas as soon as he's done with work. 

The video stayed. Not even S.H.I.E.L.D. can take it down once people already knew about it. He was the talk of every late-night show and S.N.L. skits. Tony Stark's Orgy party was being discussed on the morning news with therapists psychoanalyzing him for the public. A "what went wrong" think pieces were being published. There was public outrage about the coke that was seen in the video, concerned parents demanding punishment. People he went to school and college with were putting their two cents in and getting plenty of pretty pennies for it. He needed a bodyguard to walk around L.A. to keep the cameras from his face.

Work was the only thing keeping him from falling apart. Ty was in Europe to spend Christmas with his family. It was a lie, Tony knew. Ty's friend, the amateur filmmaker who sold the video that conveniently didn't feature Ty's face but a lot of close-ups of Tony giving head to the girls and guys suddenly had enough money to produce a movie starring one of the girls in the video. The bar boys are doing interviews and describing what it felt like to be propositioned by Tony Stark and a "friend".

It hurt. But Stark men are made of iron, and fire like this will only shape him. Hopefully, to a better, stronger person who wouldn't be used like that again. So he worked. 

He worked so he wouldn't have to go home too soon and face his parents. His mom called to tell him she convinced Jarvis and Ana to join them for Christmas. He knew what she was trying to do; she was trying to put as many bodies between him and Howard as possible. He was grateful, but it still didn't make him want to go home faster. Along with Dr. Larson's tests, he figured out Howard's notes. The alien element he discovered but couldn't recreate that (theoretically) could become a core strong enough to sustain safe energy like the one the cube generates infinitely. 

Wait…

A core. 

The Tesseract was a cube. It radiates power, intense power that comes from a … core? If something looks like a box, it is likely to act as a box. What if it's a safety box for something more powerful! He couldn't help but remember the thick wooden box Dr. Larsen stored the cube in. it hadn't made sense to Tony before, but now… was it a damper? The cube radiates energy signals high enough to put Gama rays to shame, but without the nasty side effects. But the bottom line here is that the Tesseract could be housing something powerful and that it is traceable. Unless its energy can be contained… because it could be traced.

Can the original owners of the Tesseract find it by its energy signal? Was that who spoke to him through the portal? How did Dr. Larson figure out wood can be used as an energy damper?

He was so engrossed in his work that he didn't realize what time it was or what day it was. It was only when Carol and Maria showed up with Chinese food that he realized it was December 19th. He has to go to the mansion tomorrow.

Shit.

 

**December 20th, 1987**

 

It was late in the afternoon when he arrived, and he already knew Howard wasn't here. His favorite yellow vintage Cadillac was missing from the garage. The lights were on in the Jarvises' former resident house, the home of Tony's best memories in the mansion. He can hear his mom playing the piano from the doorway and smiled.  

It was a lovely evening. The food was terrific. His mom and Jarvis fussed over how thin he was and listened to his stories about Carol, Maria, and Goose fondly. It was Anna that brought up the video. At first, Maria looked shocked. She was probably hoping to avoid that conversation. Tony told them the truth. He was too high to realize he was being filmed and too drunk to ask about it the next day. He had wanted to have fun and not waste his break working. He trusted the wrong people.

"Is Howard mad?"

"He never mentioned it," Maria said quietly. 

"Where is he?"

"He has a meeting in Orlando. He said he would be back by Christmas eve but will try to come sooner."

"It isn't as if Howard hadn't had his share of scandals."

And that was how Jarvis started telling them about Howard's shenanigans way back in the day. They had dessert in the parlor and talked some more till it was time for bed. 

Tony walked into his bedroom and cringed. It was still decorated in red, white, and blue with Captain America's face all over every surface imaginable. The Bucky Bear stood out with its navy double button coat, and Tony picked it up from the desk and placed it on the bed.

He should ask for a different room tomorrow. Maybe the Rhodey room that Rhodey never used would do. No wonder Rhodey freaked out the first time he saw this room. It looked like a shrine! Although… the posters do come in useful from time to time. Maybe he should take one to his new room, the one with Steve without the hideous winged cowl. 

He laid down, facing the poster and palmed himself. Could someone really be that perfect? He didn't believe a word Howard said, but Aunt Peg loved Steve and respected him a lot. The stories she told about the shy, well-behaved Steve that threw caution to the wind to save his captured best friend regardless of the rules. 

He was physically perfect, obviously, but the story was that he was chosen for his kind heart — a good man. The best, according to Howard. Would he be the best friend? Better than Rhodey? Would he let Tony sleep close next to him to keep the nightmares and noise at bay? Would he go to parties he doesn't necessarily want to go to just to keep him company and look out for him? Would he spend hours teaching his dumb bot how to dance to a-ha's Take on me to cheer Tony up?

Or would he be more than a friend? 

Tony slipped his hand down his pants and imagined a world where the perfect blond soldier would care for him. He lay on his back, panting afterward hot from the remnants of his activity and shame. His fantasy was being loved and cared for by a dead man his father would rather have than him. A strapping blond with blue eyes that wouldn't use him for coke, sex, and money for his company. A man that wouldn't pimp him for money.

He dreamed of hands touching and grabbing and  _ taking _ . He woke up at four in the morning and went down to the workshop to work on his Masters' A.I project for the rest of the morning. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the late update; life happened. here is Tony doing dumb shit because he misses Rhodey.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first work. Please let me know what you think.


End file.
